Should you remain friends with your ex-frog?
It's a hot topic, and I should be clear also that I'm not talking about a few dates; I mean a full blown love interest.
I have a hybrid point of view born from my healing arts training coupled with my business background. I used to think that the conscious and compassionate thing to do was to keep people who had a strong impact on me. Remaining friends with ex's can offer mixed results and I think it can do more damage than good if the timing is off.
Here's my primary question? Do you really want to hear about his dating life and share yours? I suppose it's according to who ended it but my sense is that when people want to "stay friends" one person wants more. I would really gut check that. What do you want from the "friendship"?
There's a concept in business called opportunity cost, it's a microeconomics term that basically encourages business owners to utilize their resources to make sure the company remains healthy. It certainly applies here. If you spend Jing energy capital over here, you lose the potential upside that spending it elsewhere would have given you.
I can't imagine more precious resources than YOUR Shakti (Divine, feminine energy) and time.
I personally think being friends is a bad idea at a minimum of three months. You both need time to rework your lives and really be healed. A clean break offers the opportunity to really evaluate what you will bring forward from the relationship and what you will change. I also think staying connected to him keeps your heart from being open to someone new. This is sort of like defragging your laptop after you remove software because the hard drive needs cleaning up.
I would also suggest that social media has added a fantastic aspect to our lives (you and I are connecting right here). It also offers the opportunity to create pain and pull your focus from your new path. You don't need to be connected to him there -- period. Nothing good comes from that. You also have to gut check his family and friends too. In the least, take a break or offer to be friends away from social media. Some people may be keepers, but not on Facebook. Love yourself enough to set boundaries that protect you and taking the high road does NOT mean allowing yourself to be hurt or distracted. Do you really want to have his "new" life and new path in your consciousness? NO and good people will understand.
This does not require him to participate although it's much easier if he does. Regardless, stay the course. Go dark on the whole subject, scramble your patterns in life and let your brain help your heart heal.
No checking his Facebook page or paying attention to his new dating life, it matters not. Train your focus elsewhere to something more enlivening.
Meditate, workout, see friends, hike, do yoga, get a massage, attend classes, join cool Meetup groups, go to concerts, work a part time fun gig, play with kids (my fave!) and get social in your way.
Let the Divine refill your tank and make sure you are utilizing your most amazing resource, YOU for its highest and best use and maximizing your opportunity cost.
You never know who might show up. JGD Judy