A year ago, 6/5, as I traveled back from a business trip I received a call that would forever shift my life and journey. The phone rang with his name showing from his brand new "smart phone" that he had learned to FaceTime on just the day before. This was a call we had made many times in our five-year on-and-off relationship. It was not my love, but a friend calling frantically to tell me that he was "on the ground and they were trying to revive him." My love was dying of a heart attack on the ground as I drove from Atlanta.
I did know for sure until I got to our home that he was gone. I drove into the driveway and the presence of my loved ones stricken faces signaled the beginning of my journey into grief.
At that moment, the "home " I lived in belonged to his children (precious humans who offered to let me live there until I was able to get settled) I had moved in with him and sold or given away most of my furnishings. I began the process of creating my new life and space in Raleigh where my precious daughter and her family live. In one fell swoop, I had lost my love, my home, and my perception of my future.
I learned TM 3.5 years ago. I had meditated in the past but this techniques offered consistent results and was portable in my life in traveling business development. The moment I learned to meditate in this way I was calmer, more focused and much more present to my life. Something I felt but heard with great consistency from my friends and family. I will always be grateful for the people who inspired me to learn TM not by their evangelism but the way they live and connect in the world, inspirations to us all. I particularly enjoyed the book Transcendence by Norman Rosenthal, as it details in very scientific terms the quantifiable benefits of regular meditation using the Transcendental Meditation technique.
As soon as I could, I meditated with both of my home groups in Asheville, North Carolina and Raleigh area group that had an unexpected as meeting in Wilmington, N.C. near me. It was a very powerful and loving experience. Meditation allowed my body and spirit to process the intense grief and still somehow continue the daunting task of living.
There were so many things to navigate that first few months, things I could never really imagine that were surprising, hurtful and emotionally jarring. I believe in my whole heart that TM allowed me to function better, heal faster and manage the intense PTSD that occurs around a traumatic events. It also helped ease the pain of recent anniversary that caught me off guard with the intensity and suffering it brought.
Meditation allowed me to work, which is actually a greater task than you can imagine and function in the cloud of grief and pain.
This morning, as I write I am eternally grateful to my long term TM meditating friend Ralph Grosswald for his loving presence and for introducing me to a way of life that has forever altered me. He never pushed or pressed but simply lives the present, healthy, eternally youthful lifestyle that comes from the practice of TM.