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Julia Moulden

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Families Come in All Shapes and Sizes: What's Yours?

Posted: 07/03/10 09:00 AM ET

Some Sundays, I love to read the "Weddings and Celebrations" pages of the New York Times. It's like watching a romantic comedy -- especially the longer features. I love the young-and-hopefuls, the gay couples, the interracial matches and the old farts.

This week though, I wondered, what about the rest of us? What about the never-married? The co-habitating? The newly widowed? The chosen-family-feminist? The crazy old coot with cats? The they-claim-they're-happy triangles? The "I want to be alone!" characters? The much-mingled-step-families? Who's celebrating us? Don't we deserve to have our smiling, happy faces in the paper? Hmmm?

And what does this abiding feature say about our obsession with matched pairs? We really do seem to prefer people that way -- for instance, how many of our political leaders are single? Did you notice that the media pounced on Australia's new Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, when it was discovered that -- horrors! -- she doesn't have children? And why is our beloved New York Times still describing children born out of wedlock as "illegitimate"? (I had to run to the calendar when I spotted that one -- thought maybe the big earthquake bent the space-time continuum and we were back in the '50s. Some 40 percent of children are born outside of traditional marriages, by the way.)

So, HuffPost community, now's your chance. Share your "here's me and my family" story with us. Send photos, too! And show the world that there are all kinds of lives to lead and all kinds of celebrating that needs doing.

Julia Moulden is an author, speaker and columnist. Her new book, on boomers and meaningful work, will be published in 2011.

 

Follow Julia Moulden on Twitter: www.twitter.com/juliamoulden

Some Sundays, I love to read the "Weddings and Celebrations" pages of the New York Times. It's like watching a romantic comedy -- especially the longer features. I love the young-and-hopefuls, the gay...
Some Sundays, I love to read the "Weddings and Celebrations" pages of the New York Times. It's like watching a romantic comedy -- especially the longer features. I love the young-and-hopefuls, the gay...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tapeatsbill
Founder of the Ownership Project
06:58 PM on 07/07/2010
I come from a big Irish Catholic family. While not so Catholic at all anymore most of us retain a good deal of spirituality in our lives. The family is now even bigger with nieces and nephews etc.

My married family broke up about 6 years ago. I was pretty much a single dad for about 4 years to my daughter. Now mom and daughter are getting along much better.

Although still single my family now includes the 86 year old lady across the way. She's from French Lick Indiana and knew Larry Bird when he was growing up. We painted her house for her
a couple weeks ago. A new addition is Julie P. She just adopted three young kids, two boys 3, twins and their 5 yr old sister. Saved them from a tough foster home situation. She is a real hero!
We built a new fence for her backyard to help keep the kids contained and safe.

My family is my neighborhood and my community and yes, a lot of the Huff Post folks too.

Peace on ya all - and by that I mean the FEELING of peace.

Big hugs to a great request for family stories.

Bill
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Julia Moulden
Author, speaker, columnist
07:19 AM on 07/08/2010
thanks for this great story -- much the same in my neighbourhood, with first generation Canadians who are now widowed and several single parent families -- the new norm (and the new "village" in "it takes a village")

and I hear you tapeatsbill -- will write more about families -- don't miss this weekend's piece about local news -- may be the start of something -- more of us want to see the stories that matter to us covered in media
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Julia Moulden
Author, speaker, columnist
02:36 PM on 07/07/2010
these are terrific comments -- there's something really neighbourly going on here... you might enjoy this Saturday's post about a new, ultra-local news service

hey, I'm trying to get started on twitter, so watch for that, too (feeling like a kid learning to walk, or learning a new language -- it's hard, mum!)
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
CintiBlue
10:03 AM on 07/05/2010
Thank you for asking, Julia.

My family is of the old cootess with 2 orange cats variety - we're lopsided because our dog died in April. :-((

Although I like children I knew I didn't want them around all the time so I chose not to test the friendly advice, "you'd feel different because they're yours." Good choice, but the 'family values' crowd excludes me and my kitties along with my loved and looked after elderly neighbors, so thank you again, Julia, for asking after my family :-)).
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ontariogirl
Power to the People
07:55 AM on 07/07/2010
I love the part in your post about your "love and looked after elderly neighbors". Restores my faith in the fact that there are a lot of good people out there. Well done. :))
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
CintiBlue
09:38 AM on 07/07/2010
Thanks for your comment, ontariogirl - it started my day as well as any over-the-back-fence greeting. ;-))
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Lawson Meadows
Plant in your kids, the seeds of greatness!
11:14 PM on 07/04/2010
I have two kids, one married, and I have been married for 40 years. I have minimum bias against alternative lifestyles and believe, because we get only one trip to the well in life, that you should try to be happy. My questions revolve around how the kids are raised. Do you know of any unbiased research on the ramifications of children raised in “alternative” homes? I have already researched single-mother stats, which are too often sad on the economic front (and others) particularly when the mother is young. I have no agenda relative to family constructs. My focus is on children’s development within the family.

As far as getting your picture in the paper… don’t people normally pay for that, even when they are smiling?

Thanks!
10:30 AM on 07/04/2010
Where do we send photos?
07:13 PM on 07/03/2010
I have two grown daughters that have their own families. I live in a house with a Labrador mix, a schihtzu/Bichon hybrid and a gray cat. I was married and divorced 3 times and realize now that my family of cat and dogs is a lot happier than my three failed marriages. The stress is 1% of the stress in a day of unhappy marriage. I'm 57, and don't want, don't hope for, and will not marry or cohabitate again. I'm a nurse. And older men seem to be looking for someone to take care of them. I do that 12 hours a day, 3 days a week, don't want to do it when I get home.