It's the time of year where many singles make ambitious resolutions lists with the anticipation of 2014 being a better year than 2013.
It also happens to be the busiest time of the year for singles looking for love online. Singles are flocking to Internet dating sites in record numbers with the hope that this will be the time to find that special someone.
During the first week of 2014, Match.com reports they'll have over 2 million singles logging on over 30 million times. Online dating logins will be peaking on Sunday, January 5th at 8:57 p.m./ET. Are you ready to fill your date card?
It's a time for new beginnings, as well as a time to think about a realistic resolutions list when it comes to matters of the heart.
From joining the gym, to the latest diet craze, we come up with lists that are so unrealistic that even Wonder Woman couldn't achieve half of the items on the checklist.
With that in mind, when it comes to dating and finding love online, singles need to become reflective and take a good look at their dating patterns. Did you date the same type of people over-and-over again? Did your relationships sizzle at the three-six month mark? Was it rate to make it to a second date or past a third date? Is your list of the traits of your perfect mate too big or too small?
Here are my suggestions and a list of questions for you to answer to start fresh in the New Year.
1. Take a moment to jot down a list of those you dated in 2013.
2. Write down a list of the personality types to see where your patterns are.
3. Did they ever seem too good to be true?
4. Did you jump in too fast or were you overcautious and took it too slow?
5. Were you hung up on physical qualities?
6. Were these people you could be friends with first?
7. Would you be proud to introduce your dates to your friends and family?
8. Are you backgrounds, religion and values similar?
9. How did your dates treat the servers at restaurants?
10. What was the relationship your dates had with his or her parents and family?
Answering these questions will help guide you better to determine who you should be adding to your date card.
With online dating in peak season from the New Year through Valentine's Day, finding a date isn't a difficult task. Being organized and knowing in your heart that you'll want to connect and having a meaningful relationship, I encourage you to reactivate your profile or start anew. Refresh your profile with a new catchy screen name and new photos to reflect an updated version of you!
Remember your time is precious. It's not the race to the finish line that matters. Every relationship serves a purpose and helps you get closer to knowing truly what you want. While falling in "like" or "lust" at first sight is common, it takes multiples seasons to determine if you're truly in love with someone, and to find a person who won't bail when the inevitable bumps on the road arrive. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Look at each relationship as a life-lesson and learn from the experience.
If you meet someone that you truly connect with, I encourage you to open your heart, be open to the possibilities and give someone a second chance in case they were nervous on a first date. Love yourself first so you are able to love others more deeply.
Wishing you much love and joy in cyberspace, or wherever you may roam in 2014.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert. She was an early adopter of the Internet, and has been helping singles find love online for 20 years. For more online dating advice sign up for the free Weekly Flirt newsletter and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.
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