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Julie Spira

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What to Do if He Doesn't Ask You Out for Valentine's

Posted: 02/08/2011 11:30 am

Valentine's Day is just a few days away. If you've been dating someone for a while and haven't received a formal invitation to be his Valentine, it's natural to feel disappointed. But, should you toss away the relationship? Not just yet.

Chances are your guy might not know how important Valentine's Day is to you. He's still celebrating the excitement from Super Bowl Sunday. Before you start putting pressure on him and have the big conversation, here are my suggestions.

First of all, don't sulk and be upset with him. He won't know what he's done wrong. Yes, we should assume he realizes how important Valentine's is and that he sees the red candy hearts in the store, but he might be single focused. He's still thinking football.

Second, have a conversation with him that is non-confrontational. Mention to him that Valentine's is on a Monday this year, which is normally a quiet night. Ask him if he'd prefer celebrating Valentine's on the weekend or if he'd like to celebrate it on Monday. If you're his regular gal, chances are he just hasn't gotten around to making plans. If he starts to back peddle and changes the subject, it's possible that Valentine's just isn't his thing. It's also possible that you aren't the only one.

Third, let him know that Valentine's Day is important to you. Let him know that February 14th can be as important to a woman as the Super Bowl is to a man. That, he will understand. Not every woman likes Valentine's Day. Not every couple wants to celebrate on a day where the menu prices are escalated. It's a very personal and emotional day for many. You need to communicate with him in a loving way.

Fourth, if he prefers to have a quiet night and not make a big fuss, suggest in-room dining. There are plenty of ready-made sexy dishes available at the grocery store. Pick up a simple card, a few chocolates to nibble on together, and have a candle light dinner at home.

Fifth and finally, don't be disappointed if he doesn't use Valentine's Day as the day to say "I love you" for the first time or propose marriage. There is too much pressure on Valentine's Day. Romance is a 365-year theme and fortunately, love never goes out of style.

Is Valentine's Day important to you, or is it a holiday that you choose to ignore? Comments are always welcome.

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