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Juliet Jeske

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Dating After Divorce: Wife Shoppers & Baby Momma Math

Posted: 10/07/11 03:00 AM ET

I always thought I would have kids. My husband and I planned to eventually start a family, but at the age of 36 I discovered my husband was a closeted homosexual. My marriage immediately ended and I entered the dating pool past my prime reproductive years. I knew it would eventually take time to have a healthy relationship again, and I definitely felt like my biological clock wasn't just ticking but banging loudly like Quasimodo's bells throughout my entire body.

Because I am over 35, some men view me as a lousy match if they want to have kids. I didn't think it would be this bad, but in my age range I tend to find hook-up artists who never want to settle down, men messed up from a break-up or divorce, extremely socially awkward men with no dating experience and the men I refer to as wife shoppers. A wife shopper is usually the following:

  • Over 40
  • Never Married - No children
  • At the peak of their professional career
  • About to buy property or has just bought property

Wife shoppers are men searching for the future mother of their children. They make no bones about wanting to start a family, and many won't consider women over the age of 35. Women do lose reproductive capacity after 35, and in health terms pregnancies in older mothers are deemed higher risk. Yet none of my extended or immediate family members have had to use any extraordinary means to get pregnant. In fact, most got pregnant almost too easily; my aunt and my grandmother both had babies in their forties. So do I have to print out my medical history and that of my extended family and bring it on dates? Should I put it on my online dating profiles? Something tells me that bringing up fertility on a first date would cause most men to bolt.

I have discovered most wife shoppers through online dating websites. Something about online sites just make it too easy for them. Men can sort of pick the traits they prefer: height, build, eye color, hair color, age, and if a woman wants children. On dates, a wife shopper will bring up reproducing almost before they have ordered their first drink. One of the habits I have noticed is something I call baby momma math. My date will look at me, ask me my age again, and then I watch them adding up how long we would have to date before trying to start a family, and they aren't exactly subtle about it. I have also gotten questions right off the bat such as:

  • What neighborhood do you think you would want to live in?
  • Private or public school?
  • How much debt do you have?
  • How many kids would you want to have?
  • Do you have a good relationship with your family?

I don't remember this ever happening to me when I was in my twenties. Maybe it's something about the personality traits of any man who waits until they are at the peak of their career before getting married and having kids. In their mind they have a checklist and once they have done everything else they want to accomplish in life they move on to starting a family.

Having my marriage end the way it did has given me major trust issues to begin with, so the idea of running down the aisle with a man hell-bent on becoming a father is terrifying. Divorce is hell on earth and the thought of having another divorce -- only the second time with children -- is especially nightmarish. Rushing into a situation in order to have children with a partner I barely know seems like a recipe for another divorce.

Of course, women have been doing this sort of thing for ages. It is almost a cliché -- the single woman over a certain age talking about eggs, biological clocks and running out of time. When I meet a wife shopper, at first I think it is a good sign because at least this man isn't like the multitudes who just seem to want to get laid and nothing else. But then I start to feel like little more than a womb.

Keeping a healthy marriage together, especially one with children, is extremely difficult. The union between the two adult partners should be the most important thing -- communication, lifestyles, goals, and temperaments must work in harmony before the added stress and pressures of children are added to the mix. I have accepted that having a biological child may not happen for me, as I would rather not bring children into a haphazard marriage situation. I just wish I could find something in between the hook-up artists and the men who think nothing of ordering up a wife they way they would a sandwich.

 

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I always thought I would have kids. My husband and I planned to eventually start a family, but at the age of 36 I discovered my husband was a closeted homosexual. My marriage immediately ended and I ...
I always thought I would have kids. My husband and I planned to eventually start a family, but at the age of 36 I discovered my husband was a closeted homosexual. My marriage immediately ended and I ...
 
 
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02:21 AM on 10/13/2011
My wife was hearing her biological clock echo in her head. I already had 2 kids by my first marriage, which lasted 21 years, so I wasn't going to push for more kids. She was in a hurry and I knew that she would be a devoted mother - her kids were going to come first. We have 2. She is and they do.
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Rob Huggins
10:52 AM on 10/12/2011
I'm curious about what some of these boys growing up on social media are going to be like at 20 let alone 40. They spend so much time online that you wonder if they are going to date like its an e-commerce situation. Look at the specs, read the reviews, do the math, and click friend. The unmarried 40 year olds now had a childhood where they met everyone face to face using body language and tone of voice. What are we going to have when unmarried 40 year olds have met most people they know through online profiles and texted conversations. The "wife shoppers" this person is running into through online dating are probably only the beginning of people being more analytical about their relationships and less emotional. I hope not, it will be a sad state of affairs.
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Shaun Hensley
The American Experiment has failed
06:15 PM on 10/13/2011
It's not just boys of their generation. I don't envy them at all.
01:58 PM on 10/11/2011
Remember, people over 35 have a lot more experience and "baggage" than teenagers. Their potential partners need to know this to make an informed decision to tolerate it, or walk away.
02:02 AM on 10/12/2011
Right, and they need to spend more than an hour or two figuring out what that baggage is and how it has affected the person!
12:16 PM on 10/11/2011
I'm sorry your ex husband turned out to be gay. For those saying "how couldn't you tell" I'd say that if someone wants to hide things, it's very possible to do so. Obviously your ex-husband had his reasons for wanting to marry a woman and they were important enough to him to work hard at deceiving you. Those making the comments would be surprised to find out the secrets of their friends/spouse/relatives! To the one who said it seemed like you were wanting your life to be a fairy tale, I just say -- what a bizarre thing to say to someone who has lived through what many might consider to be a worst nightmare (I know it would be mine). That's not because I think being gay is wrong. I have several close gay friends living honestly, and I think to find out that the person you thought loved and desired you actually did neither of those things is a huge betrayal. However, I'm not surprised that men would approach looking for a wife the way you portray, even though it's sad. We are taught to go out and get what we want, and as you said, the internet dating methods have made this mindset easier to implement. You wouldn't really want to be with any of those men anyway. Good luck finding someone who sees others as the amazing, complex beings we are, worthy of sharing the journey of life with and knowing intimately.
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Juliet Jeske
New York based comedian
12:07 AM on 10/13/2011
The straight spouse problem is much more common then people think, I have met so many others like myself it is stunning. My ex had multiple girlfriends before me, the most recent was absolutely gorgeous. And our sex life started out normal and slowly disintegrated which happens in normal marriages. It wasn't until he had relationships of an emotional nature with men that really made me think that he was a closeted homosexual. He didn't act in a stereotypical way at all. When he came out people didn't believe him it was so bad. He wanted the "normal" life of a wife and kids and in doing so he wasted probably my only opportunity to have children. It hasn't been easy and I just live with the reality that I will most likely remain childless. I was loyal and faithful to that man until the last day. He lied to me for years and he lied to himself. One day gay will just be another form of normal and this won't happen as often to straight men and women. It really is a disaster.
strangiato
Ha Ha...Charade You Are
10:47 AM on 10/13/2011
Human sexuality is complicated.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexuality

No one ever said life was easy. Just be thankful you haven't just been given a diagnosis of stage 4 metastatic breast cancer or given birth to a child with autism. Aside from some world changing products, Steve Jobs gave all of us some pretty poignant and valuable lessons about life reminding us to always try to put things in proper perspective. Maybe your ex never intended to "waste your only opportunity to have children". Like you and I, we're all flawed to one extent or another. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and seize the remainder of your life with gusto.
11:21 PM on 10/10/2011
Oh my goodness.

A - Who decided that having children is the be all and end all of a happy life? It's a choice people don't have to make to be fulfilled.

But..

B - If you do have some need to have children, you don't need a husband to have them.

It sounds to me as if you expected your life to be some kind of fairy tale. Grow up.
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StrawHat
Eat veggies, don't vote for them
11:44 PM on 10/10/2011
Go give your "grow up" speech to the other mammals.

We're bored with being told to not want what we are MADE to want in the heart-center of our DNA.
strangiato
Ha Ha...Charade You Are
09:22 AM on 10/11/2011
Unfortunately, there are too many "children" having children. A lot of the people that are dying to have kids need to look more closely at those who have them and see the reality. There is some truth and value to the "grow up" admonition. The challenge of being a worthy parent is daunting, enormous, and beyond the capability of most that are enamored with the concept of being a mom or dad. An important part of having children - something that is discussed very little - is the deep down desire to have little semi carbon copies of your spouse running around in the world because you love and respect him or her as deeply as it is possible to love someone. The notion is that the world would be a better place with them in it. It's not about you or your personal desires to create a "mini me" for your amusement or to impress family members and friends. Children are supposed to be the highest expression of love possible - that's why they call it "making love" folks. What we have nowadays is a complete distortion of that concept.
03:44 PM on 11/01/2011
"B - If you do have some need to have children, you don't need a husband to have them".

!? Now That is a recipe for disaster. Children need both mothers And fathers. I am a women (and mother of 4) and yes, it is possible to have children from a sperm bank/sperm donation...but whether that is in the best interest of any future children is highly doubtful. Anyone who thinks that fathers are not an integral part of a child's development and upbringing probably came from a dysunctional background. On top of which the author never said children were needed to "fulfill her" but that she simply wanted to have some. Hardly a novel idea. The basis for humanity is predicated on people (shock!) having kids. It seems to me as if you are bitter and angry with past decisions - don't put your baggage on others. Grow up.
10:22 PM on 10/10/2011
I am a single, childless, 42 year old male who is financially stable. I date both women with children and without. I date women in there late 20's to mid 40's. There is different priorities for each age group. What I gleaned from this article; it was an article about her. She desperately wants children, and she wants a man who feels the same way but keeps it hidden and is only interested in her for her. Sorry, this isn't high school. Both parties have too much to lose at this point in their lives; by the time they are 35 you have yourself or you have watched your friends go through divorces, its not pretty and everybody loses. Fact is I won't carry on a relationship with a woman of any age group unless she is financially stable, good with children, has the same political/social values and common interests, and has outside interests as well. I date once and then walk away if the criteria isn't met. I learned this from dating many different women; thats the way I was treated by them (1 date, failed to meet their criteria, game over). And my advise to men: Make a list. If they don't measure up, walk away. Don't sleep with them on the first date. Only date women who actually show interest in dating you; don't ever chase a woman (those are the selfish ones), a good woman won't play games.
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01:27 PM on 10/11/2011
Good advice.

I think the problem really is that young women are made to feel like they own the world, but that only lasts for about 15% of your life.
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Brett Tonaille
Author and translator
09:30 PM on 10/10/2011
Pity poor men (can I get an "Awwwww...."?).

If we just want to have a good time, we're superficial Peter Pans. If we want to get married, have children and be very careful about whom we make that immense decision with, we're.... wife shoppers.
I'm sure it's not pleasant for some women past certain ages. But first of all it's not like women past 35 never find mates. More to the point, though, whomever these men do finally marry will probably be quite happy to know they took the whole process so seriously going into it. Whatever age the wives turn out to be.
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StrawHat
Eat veggies, don't vote for them
11:34 PM on 10/10/2011
Actually, we're happiest when they leave us the fark alone.
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08:15 PM on 10/10/2011
Why are you all in such desperation to marry and/ or have kids? I am sure most of you have metbthe right one. You chose to marry your freedom, thinking you will find perfection when you are ready, after you have partied, travelled, succeeded at work. It just does not work that way.

Kids? Really? You have absolutely no clue as to how much work, compromise and selflessness it takes. There is no manual or ability to return to the store.

Ifyounfind your soulmate, at 19 or at 70...do not miss the chance...there is no perfect time. But be prepared for the hard work it takes to succeed..oh, btw...25 years with an angel and 2 children..the rewarding thing in my life
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Juliet Jeske
New York based comedian
12:12 AM on 10/13/2011
I work with children in my day job, I know how much work they are trust me. They are need machines! But I also adore them and I can see how many of my friends have immensely grown emotionally after they have kids. Sure i know some people who should have never have had any and they are terrible parents. It is a mixed bag really. I can't explain why I want kids it is something unexplainable. But I am also growing very accepting of the reality that it probably won't happen for me. I have to be realistic and try to just do the best I can, I would rather not rush into something just to have a baby, or have a baby on my own that I couldn't properly take care of...so it is just one day at a time for now.
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07:32 PM on 10/10/2011
Having children isn't Disneyland either. Take a cruise and thank your lucky stars. The first child is the husband.
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XenuIsUs
03:44 PM on 10/10/2011
You didn't know your husband was a homosexual? You're projecting your weird psyche issues onto men who have more rigorous judgement than you do.
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Ruthless1
Enough TEA already!
02:38 PM on 10/10/2011
Children I thought was the by-product of a happy marriage. Now, it appears that we are ordering them up like fast food. Hey, ladies if you want a baby just have one by yourself. You will both be happier without the excess baggages of a man you may not really know for years. If you do the math a babysitter and daycare would be cheaper than a marginal husband.
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Veeve
Biochem/Psych/Hist/Econ/Techie
02:06 PM on 10/10/2011
My condolences. I'm a 39 year old guy who has never been married and I'm at the height of my career and I just recently bought a house, lol.
I realize that if I don't have a child in the next 5 years, it's basically all over, but I'll be darned if I'm going to reduce the social ritual of pair bonding to a 'wife interview'. That said, I do badly want to be a father. I would've married my high school/college sweetheart or my long term gf in my 20s, it just didn't work out. It has nothing to do with 'personality traits, etc. I lost my mom when I was a young adolescent and it retarded my emotional growth to a significant degree. It took me a while to work through my issues. I did, and I'm a better human being for it; whether I ever get a chance to marry and have a family or not.
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Juliet Jeske
New York based comedian
12:14 AM on 10/13/2011
My only advice is that if you really want to have kids then it is OK to tell a potential partner that I would just avoid exactly what you said, the "wife interview". If the Wife Shoppers have taught me anything is that I now know how annoying it is to men when women do it. No one wants to feel like a sperm bank or an egg donor.
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HawaiianLady
My name means Gift of God.
02:02 PM on 10/10/2011
At the risk of sounding old-fashioned and incurring the wrath of those who don't believe in God, there's another thing to be considered in looking for the answers here. I've always believed that we all have jobs in this world and that we're not always in control of what they are. I do believe God puts things in our way, and what we do with them is our own choice. He means nothing but good for us, but sometimes that good comes late in life or isn't easily seen.

If you don't believe in God, then at least keep an optimistic outlook; no one likes a sad soul out looking, and keep an open mind about God. Everyone loves a cheerful smile and a hopeful attitude. Don't make looking for a partner the be-all and end-all of your life. Keep going; work; donate your time to good causes; read; watch old movies (not the new ones that are more discouraging than anything); walk a lot; nurture friendships; keep busy. Life is too short to spend it looking for an impossible (or unlikely) dream. My enjoyment after my husband died came in the form of reopening our bed and breakfast and the fun interacting with the people who stayed with me.

"Life is so full of a number of things, that I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings."
01:46 PM on 10/10/2011
Actually, no. I don't hink you want something between some one shopping a womb and some one who is just shopping the wrapper. You are a lady. There is a picture, you can't fool me. Consider looking for someone you enjoy spending your time with and who enjoys spending time with you. Enjoy things together, maybe. No strings. No criteria. No lists. No clocks. Before you start talking clocks, bambinos and how old you will be when the child is in high school, consider one simple quistion. Do we have the warm, intimate relationship to trust each other with the conversation? If you don't, risk neither a relationship nor a marriage.
01:25 PM on 10/10/2011
On the other side I really don't see a difference at this age and beyond, it is just another set of issues.

I have found that if you don't put people into categories and give them a chance on their own, there are quality people there that maybe don't 'get' online dating or can't express themselves well in writing. How you choose to categorize them is more about you than them.

I met a girl with no pic and whose english was so bad that I nearly reported her as a dating site scammer, but I thought I'd toy with 'the scammer' instead. In broken english she asked where she could send her pics, I gave her an FBI address. Two days later she wrote and asked if I liked them. I realized she just might be real and I felt like a tool so I gave her my real email. Turns out she was a beautiful, happy and socially prominent French born woman who just didn't write well in English. We dated for 7 months and are still close friends.

I tend to avoid online dating anymore though because the hurdles of doubt are sometimes just too much work to overcome, there is a guilt by association online. I understand there are a lot of creeps or whatever out there but when you have to work to prove you are 'normal' it just takes the fun and expectation out of meeting people.