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Misunderstanding Abstinence Begets More Bristol Palins

Posted: 09/17/10 12:59 PM ET

Earlier this month, the American Academy of Pediatrics issued a new policy statement on sexuality, contraception and the media. It emphasized that the United States has the highest teen pregnancy rates in the Western World, and that adolescents have among the highest rates of sexually transmitted infections of any age group. It reviewed the studies on the relationship between the availability of contraception and sexual activity, denouncing what it termed the "dangerous myth" that giving teens access to birth control will make them sexually active at younger ages. What is it did not discuss is the ironic role of the "wait until marriage" efforts in driving up the rates of single parenthood.

The college educated middle class, which has deferred marriage until their late twenties and beyond, has no illusions about the prospects for abstinence through the completion of graduate school. Yet it has successfully held the line on single parenthood, with non-marital birthrates that have fallen during a period in which they have risen for the everyone else. Moral values advocates, who preach abstinence, oppose abortion, fight the greater availability of contraception, and promote marriage, decry the rise of the country's non-marital birth to 40%. But the group most likely to espouse these values, whites who begin families in their early twenties and traditionalists of all races, have seen their divorce and non-marital birth rates continue to increase. What explains the irony? We believe it is the failure to think about alternatives when abstinence fails.

To understand what these fallbacks are, it's necessary to recognize the changed nature of successful marriages. This means starting with the real sexual revolution: the one in the fifties. In that decade, the number of women who had sex before their twenty-first birthdays rose from 40 to 70%, the average age of marriage dropped to 20 for women, the lowest in a century, and the number of brides giving birth within eight and a half months of their nuptials rose to 30%, the highest percentage since 1800. Two things fueled these trends. First was the rise of the car and the suburbs, which facilitated a more mobile society in which teens found it easier to escape prying adult eyes. The second factor was post-war prosperity. A young man just out of high school could get a job, making early marriage viable. And adoption rates soared, providing a fallback when all else failed.

What we think of as the sexual revolution of the sixties and seventies had less to do with a change in sexual practices -- those had already given way -- than with a rethinking of the alternatives. As we explain in Red Families v. Blue Families, while parents of ambitious teens agree that abstinence at fifteen is a good idea, they have few illusions about abstinence through four years at a college far from home, and they prepare their children accordingly. Moreover, while marriage by twenty-three was once the norm for college grads, today the most stable marriages are those that occur later. The shot gun weddings of the fifties fueled the divorces of the seventies, and youthful unions are even less stable today than they were in 1980.

Abstinence advocates want to bring back the stigma associated with non-marital sex, but to do so requires either a high degree of compliance and/or draconian consequences. If, as they advocate, abortion is unthinkable, then the only remaining options are marriage or single parenting. And once you have the Bristol Palins of the world joining movie stars on the covers of magazines with their adorable newborns, the stigma against non-marital parenting has disappeared.

So the college bound have held the line on single parenthood -- and driven their divorce rates back down to the level of the sixties -- because they have given up the stigma against non-marital sexuality and instead focused on managing the consequences. This means individualized counseling for teen daughters (multiple partners and early sex are still a bad idea); promoting the universalization of contraception as a rite of passage into adulthood, rather than something that only "bad girls" use; and, yes, accepting abortion as the responsible fallback. One of the striking changes for this group is that as the norm of responsible contraception has taken hold, the abortion rates of college grads has fallen substantially, and as abortion has become less common, ambivalence about it has grown. Nonetheless, while college graduates have lower abortion rates than any other group in the population, they continue to abort a higher percentage of unplanned pregnancies than the rest of the population. They do so precisely because non-marital birth remains unacceptable.

Here, as in so many other ways, Bristol Palin is the perfect symbol of the abstinence cause. The fascinating part of Sarah and Todd's reaction to their daughter's re-engagement to (and almost immediate breakup with) Levi Johnston is the fact that the Palins were not particularly happy that Bristol had decided to marry the father of her eighteen-month-old son. Given a choice of single parenthood or Levi, single parenthood apparently looks pretty good. The Palins are not alone. A good sperm count and a ring do not by themselves turn a young cad into a promising husband. And without the viability of early marriage, insistence on abstinence without the fallback of contraception (and abortion) can only increase the number of single parents.

Cross-posted from New Deal 2.0.

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11:13 AM on 09/19/2010
It is Sarah and Todd's fault. They were so involved in their blind ambition, they left the kid's alone to fend for themselves. Anybody with a right mind knows you should never leave teenagers alone to fend for themselves. It's just begging for trouble.
11:03 AM on 09/19/2010
This is a good article from Alaska Dispatch.

http://www.alaskadispatch.com/voices/the-concerned/6854-bristol-on-dwts-how-should-we-vote
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
twowrongs
Now you say crony capitalism like its a bad thing
10:28 PM on 09/18/2010
Pregnancy is viewed as punishment for the sin of having sex. Young girls are not encouraged to be responsible for their sexuality so that parents can maintain the illusion that they are raising pure and holy daughters. People who posted comments below about how this is an attack on people who wish to be moral are missing the point. Abstinence ONLY ignores many realities and makes pregnancy a public punishment. I have personnally witnessed this phenomenon in 3 generations of strict Christian moralists. "My daughter is pure." is their mantra, early grandparenthood their reality. Face it. Young people are sexual beings. Even the most religious will justify their sex life based on the passion and love they feel in the moment. By not preparing them for this parents doom them to early unwanted pregancies.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JUSTSAYING--
05:42 PM on 09/18/2010
Here's a funny..Bristol on DWTS-
http://walkaboutstory.wordpress.com/2010/09/03/bristledance
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
propitiousmoment
the journey is the destination....
05:15 PM on 09/18/2010
ya know, you could have written this whole article, which is excellent in all respects otherwise, without the gratuitous insult to Levi Johnston. He's as much a victim and an unwilling participant in the drama surrounding his and Bristol's sex life and its consequences- and her mother's scheming manipulations - as Bristol herself.
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Skunkman
old & decrepit
08:04 PM on 09/18/2010
Wonderful post proppitiousmoment: Smart & true. Congratulations.

fanned & faved
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abbienormal
What hump?
08:07 PM on 09/18/2010
I agree.
05:15 PM on 09/18/2010
And given the choice between single parenthood and Bristol et. al., single-parenthood probably looked prettty good to the Johnstons, too.
04:04 PM on 09/18/2010
One of the truth's that many ignore is that the 50's had the highest teen pregnancy rates of any decade. Many who want to return to the Beaver Cleaver days seem unaware of this.
jjtx
We need to look for the Third Way.
02:17 PM on 09/18/2010
and a baby in your uterus does not turn you into a promising wife
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Caledoniaz
An evident lack of broughtupness
09:04 PM on 09/18/2010
and an unplanned baby in your uterus especially does not turn you into a good mother.
jjtx
We need to look for the Third Way.
09:10 PM on 09/18/2010
that too
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
sunnybunny
02:23 PM on 10/21/2010
Would that be because being careless doesn't make you responsible?
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HUFFPOST PUNDIT
den1953
The best politicians are for free!
12:10 PM on 09/18/2010
Besides why bother with one bull when you can have the whole herd?
01:34 AM on 09/18/2010
You seem to be suggesting that the small percentage of kids who hope for themselves that they can wait are more likely to be single moms than are those who are rarin' to go. That seems mighty unlikely. Nor could such a small population (those true believers) possibly be responsible for a significant percentage of such births on an ABSOLUTE basis. Surely urban teenagers, "at-risk" teenagers, black teenagers, ALL contribute far more to the problem by the numbers. Yet you focus on "religious: teenagers. Why?

(And notice I didn't ask you why you dragged in Bristol Palin BY NAME. You did THAT as a cheap SMEAR.)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Russell Masingale
weary I am of the Astroturf.
06:57 AM on 09/18/2010
no we did that because she is on tv every night. give me another unwed teenage mother on tv all the time and i wont mention bristol at all. promise big guy.
11:11 AM on 09/18/2010
Who's WE? Your name doesn't seem to be Cahn or Carbone. Are you telling me you speak for them?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
pcplz
just a lil ol' lady with a mind.
01:39 PM on 09/18/2010
Gee whiz man....you left out Latino teens, and American Indian teens, and Oriental teens....and ....and..
04:20 PM on 09/18/2010
You KNOW it isn't the asian-American teenagers giving birth way out of proportion to their numbers. There ARE groups that are MORE part of the problem and LESS a part of the problem - true or false?

Is it income? Is it education? Is it culture? Yes, it is all of those things. But these authors are not trying to solve the problem of too many babies born to young girls. THEY seek to solve the "problem" of too much religion of a sort they don't like. Whether some tens or hundreds of abstinence-minded young girls get pregnant is so far beside the point it should be in a different book.
10:38 PM on 09/17/2010
How could contraceptives be any more available? Every supermarket carries a wide selection of condoms. Free condoms are available in every college health center. I mean what do the authors want? Condoms instead of toys in fast food happy meals?
05:47 AM on 09/18/2010
Well, if you have the money for the condoms in the supermarket, or the money to go to college and be in the college health center, all is good. Sadly, so very many people, especially young people, fall outside of having either of those things, and therefore do not have the ready access needed.

Also, condoms are birth control for the man to use responsibly, have you seen the prices of birth control pills/devices for women? They ALL require doctor visits and a prescription except what, the sponge? not very balanced there.
07:14 AM on 09/18/2010
Anybody too poor to afford to buy a rubber needs to be spending their time looking for work, not a hookup.
11:09 AM on 09/19/2010
That is why we must all support Planned Parenthood.
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abbienormal
What hump?
08:10 PM on 09/18/2010
It's one thing to make them available and it is a far different thing to convince men to wear them.
07:14 PM on 09/17/2010
Levi is the sh-arp-est kni-fe in the drawer of that whole group.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
edgarcaycedoc
07:03 PM on 09/17/2010
Thank you MS Carbone. I am a mainstream protestant pastor of over 30 years. I have four boys and three girls (one son is deceased). My counsel to them was to secure birth control. But I also made it clear that said birth control was not for permissive promiscuity, but to protect them from the necessity of making a decision for abortion, or even having to wrestle with the adoption of their child(ren). I don't know about my boys, but my wife tells me our girls were on birth control early--we both agreed on the necessity of birth control--so that they did not have to struggle with the difficulty of "date rape" or, even worse, "first degree rape." All but one are now married. Neither of sons nor our daughters "had" to get married. I am thankful there were well meaning resources out there (like yours) we could turn to in counseling our children on their developing sexual self, and how to cope with that development.
08:29 PM on 09/17/2010
You do realize that by "putting your girls on birth control early" that you were pumping their developing bodies full of hormones that might have adverse side effects? What, you never thought of that?
12:19 AM on 09/18/2010
Getting pregnant while still developing is also difficult on young women. There are always tradeoffs.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Lolly
12:36 AM on 09/18/2010
Actually, evidence suggests that bcps offer protection against ovarian and other cancers associated with the reproductive system.
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Colmore
06:54 PM on 09/17/2010
By all accounts, Bristol was not exactly a young innocent when she became pregnant. Her reputation was that of a "party girl" Levi is no great catch, true, but Bristol is not exactly pure as the driven snow.
07:38 PM on 09/17/2010
The whole idea of a "reputation" is a double standard and is insulting to women.
01:59 AM on 09/18/2010
"By all accounts"

What possible tenth hand account could you possibly have heard? Even if you lived in that young woman's TOWN you would be nothing but a disgusting gossip. But for you to assess Britol Palin's "purity" before she met Levi and how it compares to snow, from whatever rathole you call home, is beyond the pale.
02:19 AM on 09/18/2010
I suppose I shouldn't be QUITE so harsh with you. It's clear that the authors INTENDED that scorn should heaped upon Palin. You merely took the bait they put out for you.
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Colmore
08:16 AM on 09/18/2010
It is NOT gossip. There are actually blogs from Alaska!!! Can you imagine that?? The people in Wasilla and Anchorage say Bristol was a wild party girl from way back, there were photos of her, but McCain had them all destroyed. Levi's sister tells about their computers being taken and all references to the Palins removed. The next Palin girl is also in trouble, partying and vandalizing houses. Maybe Sarah will have to "give birth" to another grandchild soon?
06:43 PM on 09/17/2010
"A good sperm count and a ring do not by themselves turn a young cad into a promising husband."

Getting knocked up and a ring do not by themselves turn a young ditz into a promising wife, either.
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robadeaux
Your labels have expired....
11:41 AM on 09/18/2010
Or mother...
02:11 PM on 09/18/2010
Ya beat me to it.