To Form a More Perfect Union

What follows is parable anticipating 2008. It is inspired my wife's observation that George W. Bush is like the worst boyfriend ever, and written from that perspective.

Once we figure out that we have a bad boyfriend, we have to dump him if we can. But then we get into cycles, often choosing the next one because he seems totally different; sometimes we choose him because he's similar and we can't believe we made such a bad mistake. Our last boyfriend -- the one who was just before our current creep -- was really handsome, smart, musical and popular. Everyone in the world liked him. But he didn't always tell the truth and couldn't keep his hands off other women and it hurt our feelings by the time we said goodbye.

So we looked next for someone who seemed like the opposite. We decided to choose between two guys who were less cool, not womanizers, steady and sincere. In the middle of an agonizing decision, one of them forced himself on us even though we favored the duller but more thoughtful one. He got us in front of a judge when we were vulnerable and the next thing we knew, he was spending all our hard-earned savings, and telling us that he was doing it for our own good. He wasn't interested in other women, but he wasn't interested in us, either. In fact, it's possible -- because we met some of his "friends" -- that he didn't like women at all.

We had always paid our bills on time, but this guy said it wasn't necessary, and he blew all our money on radar systems and high-tech cameras to protect our home from intruders. He put us in massive debt before he walked away for good -- arm in arm with the radar/camera contractors who had been his secret friends. He really wanted access to the oil in the neighbor's back yard.

So now we've had it with this one, feeling that he can't leave soon enough. So how do we find the next one? How about someone completely different? Maybe a woman would be better (no testosterone to deal with) or a young African-American or a gentle Hispanic man or a really short guy who seems kind of out there, but who really wants to change things -- and he gets really neat girls to like him.

Then there are those old guys with all the grey hair -- they're experienced and really know how to treat a country. And then there is that cute Southern guy who keeps talking about his dad. What about the guy who doesn't believe in evolution, or that other one who married his cousin and hangs out with the mob. The Mormon is kind of cute, but there's the whole polygamy thing to consider, not to mention the special underwear. And there is that tall bald guy who looks much older in person than he did on TV. Oh yes, there's a man who was in a cage for five years somewhere -- but at least he has a good sense of humor.

Now we are scared to make yet another bad decision. Maybe we'd better take the time to think about why we keep screwing up -- is it that we listen too much to our friends (read: media) telling us who to choose? We need to look at who we really are and the difference between what we want and what we really need, so we can better check out our choices and not leap into yet another disappointing relationship.

Comments

[voidware]

Actually, George Bush is that boy you can't get, that you continue to obsess over. You're in love with George Bush and you know who you are. You can't stop talking about him. Like, oh my God.

[GuiltyByStander]

I was tempted to use this boyfriend metaphor myself, but I have no personal experience with it -- except as the unchosen and the chosen. But is seems apt the way I hear people talking about candidates.

I'll make these observations: That you are more likely to meet a great boyfriend in an environment where reading, thinking and music are present. A boyfriend who can and does write a clearly is going to be easier to live with. One who has suffered and survived set-backs in his life is highly recommended. A dedication to a vision of how the world could be is a good thing. Straight answers and as much detail as you can stand will keep the relationship happy.
And above all, avoid the bling and the media dazzle.

That's why I'm volunteering for Joe Biden.

[Sundialsvc4]

Curious bit of prose, there... but it grows on you. Good piece. (Sincerely. I mean that.)

The bottom line to me is, "'We the People'" ... is, at the end of the whatever ...

"just 'us folks.'"

All 320-million of ... 'us folks.'

And YES, as we have all seen first-hand, it IS POSSIBLE for a sleight-handed criminal to rip-off every single one of 'us folks' and to show absolutely no remorse in doing it.

Furthermore... obviously... "he's among friends." Six agonizing years later, these people see nothing amiss with what they have done to all of us.

Maybe at last we have reached the point of decision that our great-great-great grandfathers back in 1776 knew all-too-well: that if you want to re-shape your own future, or to fix it back to what the established political order should have been able to provide for you (and once did...) the time will come when YOU realize that you must do it for yourself.

We have reached just such a moment.

Fortunately for us, our great-great-great grandfathers anticipated this. They left us a resilient system, brilliant in its sparseness, wholly contained on but a single piece of cherished vellum, that can not-only face this present problem squarely but bring it to justice.

We do not have to create new law here: we merely must demand that the law set-forth in our present Constitution be ...

... enforced.

[DeeLuzon]

if this were a "lifetime" movie, we'd learn our lesson and wind up with the thoughtful, dull guy we didn't fight for eight years ago. in the movie, he'd still want us.

[LiarLiarIraqsOnFire]

In fact, it's possible - because we met some of his "friends" - that he didn't like women at all. - 'Friends' like Jeff Gannon, Victor Ashe, Ted Haggard, Mark Foley, Denny Hastert & Larry Craig?


Really short guy who seems kind of out there, but who really wants to change things - and he gets really neat girls to like him./ Cute Southern guy who keeps talking about his dad '08

[jmpurser]

First off this is our 4th "bad boyfriend" in a row and secondly none of our "suitors" is all that different except the nerdy short guy who has to take the bus everywhere.

Prepare to get puked on at lover's lane for the next 4 years.

[DemandTruth]

Family is important to me. I'm goin' with the cute Southern guy who's always talking about his dad.

[kasjuh]

If deciding now is important, go with the gentle Hispanic. Experienced, smart, seems more interested in domestic and global issues being solved without rancor, will steer clear of the Christian jihad now visible on the horizon. The next election, I do hope, will be determined by independents, where star power doesn't carry much weight, and common sense rules.