On Sunday, Sept. 18, 2011, Jamey Rodemeyer took his own life at the age of 14. Earlier this year he had participated in the "It Gets Better" Project, but just a week before the suicide, he wrote, "I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. ... What do I have to do so people will listen to me?" It didn't get better for Jamey, and he's not alone. While the focus of many anti-bullying campaigns has been to empower LGBTQ youth and create community around them, I think it's time for all Americans to make it better.
In my early teens, much before I became comfortable with my gender and sexual identity, I found myself being bullied. Because I was young, confused and vulnerable, I found it very difficult to defend myself, so I know the important role courageous peers and responsible adults play when facing down bullies. When we are reminded of the vicious behavior of some children toward those considered different, we "different" adults see it as our responsibility to respond with education, therapy, hotlines and activism. But what is needed to create real change is real action on the part of our heterosexual citizenry. After all, these are your children who are driving other kids to suicide. Where are they learning that it's "OK to hate"? In part, young people are learning that it's "OK to hate" by pushing boundaries and getting away with it. Isn't that what young people do, test boundaries? Why are they forbidden to chew gum in class yet allowed to torture their LGBTQ classmates? We've come to an understanding that smoking should not be allowed and have given teachers the moral authority to stop it; we've made it illegal to sell cigarettes to minors because we recognize that it's harmful to their health. But the number of deaths from LGBTQ bullying is mounting. When will the deaths of these children be recognized as an imperative to make change now?
Parents and educators are allowed, sometimes even forced, to be passive in the face of shameful and outrageous behavior on the part of their charges because they have had their own hands tied by legislators and a "moral" minority who claim to represent "our" values.  But remember, the civil rights movement would not have been nearly as effective if white people hadn't joined with African Americans to create the necessary changes to end institutionalized racism. It should not only be the responsibility of the LGBTQ community to protect certain youth. It is time for you to stand up for and be accountable to all America's children -- not only LGBTQ children but all the children who are forced to live in a world of unnecessary cruelty, and also, maybe even more importantly, the bullies who are being allowed to destroy their own chances at happiness by passive adult bystanders. It is time for all Americans to come together and end homophobic and transphobic language, and to take action to protect the childhoods of all of our children, not just some.

Yours truly,

Justin Vivian Bond

The Guyliner: Does it Really Ever Get Better for Gay Teenagers?
As for the bullying issue: straight parents, YOU are the ones that teach/not teach your children when they are most impressionable. Step up to the plate! Stop abrogating your responsibility as a parent!
Stop depending on teachers and police to replace good parenting.
However, we do appear to live in a twisted Culture where Bullying is given a wink and a nod as passive approval. I don't know when it will finally sink in that bullying has a price. Our Prisons are filled with unchecked Bullies. We all pay the price.
Bullies are only successful when kids allow it. Even bullies hate to be ignored.
My family and the adults in my life had me believing that I did not deserve anything, was worth nothing, and was not equal. This lead to my belief that I was not worthy of being loved and when I was involved in my only realtionship at 23, I got jealous and scared because I had no confidence. It was the 70s and pre-AIDS, yet I had a monogamous 3-year relationship which ended because of the guilt.
It had nothing to do with my partner, it had to do with the inner demons that were created by these so called Christians, adutls and bullies that had interloped during my childhood development.
I never saw him again except to spread his ashes after he committed suicide before AIDS took away his dignity in the mid-80s.
I let the demons win. I was WRONG. I want anyone who thinks what others are saying is more important than you ... you are mistaken. You are great at who you are.
You should never let someone elses view of your life matter more than your own view. Love is out there and go get it. Hate is easy... that is why religious leaders, Christians, adults and children do it. Because it takes no character to do it.
We share the same experiences and have come through it....much stronger for all the trials and tribulations.
So thank you for what you have to say.
My point was that if you were to question the children that are attacking other children due to their sexual orientation, it seems clear that they are reflecting their parent's views of LGBT citizens.
So, we can not be surprised when our children behave like the adults around them. I'm not saying they should not be held responsible for their actions, I am saying that we're addressing this issue backwards.
It is, after all, heterosexual adults who are teaching their children, either actively or in their silence, that it is OK, encouraged even, to be abusive toward gay children.
I appreciate your observation and agree. An extra bit of energy and insight is needed to reach the goal post. At this time it appears that there are many fumbles. The ball is always dropped half way.
My life has been a showcase of examples. It is my belief, based on experience, observations and instinct, that the Heterosexual majority in my Universe have given me the impression that as an Out Gay Male, I should expect a reasonable amount of harassment-like it comes with the territory. Like in the natural order, my Homosexuality is so distasteful that I should underststand what a turn off it is and I should accept the whiplash because my being is OUT of tune. So much wiggle room has been created, like I brought it on, where the reality of my perspective isn't respected.
I created a blog to document the eye opening experience my partner of 40 years and I have had.www.str8jacquet.com The blog is a punch list of a real world saga where "it doesn't get better". On Sept 18 our neighbor willfully played a game and blocked our access to leave our property for 50 plus hours. It still amazes me the indifference which I suspect you are also baffled by. My blog isn't up to date. It does function as a chronicle just in case something happens to us. It functions as a Paper trail.
This battle has many fronts. Thanks
In all cases, we need to teach our kids that there is extreme value in intervening (safely) when they see a wrong being committed against another human being. The more true friends and defenders bullied children have, the more likely they are to have a positive outcome eventually. We just don't perpetuate a culture where it's expected that people look out for one another, and that is truly sad.
One of the bullies I stood up to later ended up in jail and the guy he was bullying, my best friend, is now happily married and doing a job that he loves.
It isn't the "education system" that "frowns on differences". That would be the 'religious' frightwing.
Anyone who is different from the norm is likely to have people point that out and use it to put a focus on that difference. Unless they are funny. Funny people can deflect a lot.
"nerds" (a pejorative label and stereotype)
"geeks (another pejorative label and stereotype)
"Aspergers" (people with physical disabilities), and
"fat kids" (people who can't control something within their control)
In other words, in your conscious or subconscious mind, "gay" is a negative, something you "don't want to be" (fat, nerdy, geeky). Yes, bullying happens to all kinds of people, and it's all bad, but until you equate bullying someone gay with, say, bullying someone who's black or Jewish, then you're missing the larger point. It's not a rite of passage; it's a hate crime.
And you are correct - it IS a hate crime.