My Complex Christianity

04/03/2015 09:08 pm ET | Updated Jun 03, 2015

I am a Christian. I curse...a lot. I have tattoos. I believe in the power of love and connection. I believe in the Universe. I am afraid and brave all of the time. I doubt and question a lot.

And, I believe.

What did this mean exactly. As I have read and been told by some of my much better educated in this realm friends, it means rebirth and starting anew, a reset and the power to get it all done!

Sounds like my kind of magic and exactly what I (and we all) need.

But I had to ask my friend Kaeleigh, "But what does that mean for me?"

To which she reminded me that I am pretty aligned with these things and making the world a better place. But, I had to push her.

"But what can I do?"

I mean, I'd like to capitalize on this too! Ever Upward could really use this power right about now!

And her response seriously made me laugh out loud.

"For you oh, Christian magoo, I suggest meditating and maybe a vision board."

I love it. She's right, how does one combine this kind of thought with their Christian faith?

My self-care includes practices such as yoga, meditation, tapping and believing in the power of the Universe. This may make some Christians cringe. But, when I refer to the Universe I believe the Universe was created by God. And yes, Jesus is my Savior.

Can I hold onto to these truths? I think so. I mean life is hard and people are complicated. And, thus you have the complexity of me. As I think we all are. Just as I told one of my clients the other day as we were discussing God, life and recovery; do what you feel drawn to, what works for you and give yourself permission that it does not necessarily have to fit in one box.

Be fully you, in all your complex glory.

I responded to Kaeleigh that this Christian needs some fucking star power, pixie dust, unicorn glitter and magic too. And, so I meditated (as I do every day). And I prayed. And prayed. And prayed some more. And read some scripture. And, I made that vision board, filling it with hopes, dreams and realities. And, I've decided to share it with this Universe because then it is like planting it in the fertile ground to grow strong roots toward the ever shining sun. Because, the world needs the light of healthier messages of ever upward in the infertility, loss and recovery world. And, I am ready to shine it.

If you have read Ever Upward, please consider doing an Amazon review. I hope to get to 50 reviews by launch on April 7th. Just click the Kindle version of the book in order to do so. Thank you!