Kim Davis? I'm over it. Why was the nation enraptured by this numbskull who is refusing to do the job she is paid to do? You don't do your job, you get fired. PERIOD. END OF STORY. I don't want to argue the bible with Kim (If "Love thy neighbor as thyself" isn't a clear enough instruction for her, she is a hopeless case), I don't want to talk about Kim's multiple marriages (none of my damn business), I don't want to discuss Kim's poor fashion sense (the definition of boring), I just want her to get fired for not doing her job and GO AWAY. Maybe we can get Donald Trump to fire her? And then GO AWAY. Because I'm over Donald Trump, too. Bigmouth that he is, spoiled, entitled, myopic fool... I'm over it! It was funny at first, but now it's just sad and demoralizing that any adult human could consider him fit to run the country we all have to live in. I'm over it. Go back to reality TV and beauty pageants, where you belong, clown. Enough is enough.
Speaking of reality TV, I'M OVER IT. Why does everything have to be a freakin' competition? Who the hell cares who does anything the "best", according to arbitrary standards or arbitrary judges? Simon Cowell just paved the way for a bunch of nitwits to get media jobs where they decree who is good, bad and indifferent and I'M OVER IT. Do you know whose opinion I care about? MINE. And I think reality TV is crap. Do with that information what you will, I DON'T CARE. Because everyone's entitled to their opinion and it's a free country. For people who love guns. If you want birth control, that's another story. Hey, all you people who think we shouldn't regulate gun ownership because then only criminals will have guns? I'M OVER IT. That is literally the lamest argument for anything EVER. "If we try to regulate who can get a driver's license, only criminals will have driver's licenses!" Sounds dumb when I put it like that, huh? "If we try to regulate who can pollute, only criminals will pollute!" Done and done.
I'm just so totally over it. Hey, people who don't return phone calls/emails/texts and then claim their phone was broken/stolen/out of battery? DO YOU THINK I WAS BORN YESTERDAY? If you can't take the 30 seconds required to acknowledge that I am trying to communicate with you? We need to re-evaluate our relationship, because I am over it. Ditto for people who don't RSVP. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? When I lived in L.A. and people didn't RSVP, I always assumed it was because they were hoping for a more fabulous invite, but now that I live in Rhode Island? I AM AS FABULOUS AS IT GETS, PEOPLE, so STOP BEING SO RUDE! There is not a whole helluva lot going on around here, so stop acting like someone who was a) raised by wolves or someone with b) better things to do (HA!). I AM HIP TO THE SCENE, and you are just being socially lazy and inconsiderate. And you can tell your mother I said so.
You know what else I'm over? The common core and standardized testing. Way to kill the joy of learning and teaching, public education system! When I think back to the comparatively nurturing and well-rounded public education I was afforded as I kid, I am profoundly grateful; when I realize that in spite of the far more rigorous and demanding curriculum children are expected to master today, they are exiting high school LESS educated than I was, I am dumbfounded. You know the expression "If it ain't broke don't fix it?" Well, it wasn't broke, but it sure as hell is now so FIX IT. Let's keep politics out of our schools and allow trained educators to determine what the best course is, shall we? In fact, politicians need to keep their damn noses out of everybody's damn business, FOR REAL because I'm OVER IT. You want to become a teacher? You need a master's degree in education. You want to become doctor? You need to go to medical school. You want to become a politician? You don't need expertise in ANY field, just financial backing and a zeal for being a busybody. Politicians need to be held up to some kind of basic standard before they start making life altering decisions for other people because I am so totally and completely OVER IT.
Facebook has finally come to its senses and is "working on" a "dislike" button (this is something that needs to be "worked on"? I'm no computer genius, but it seems pretty straightforward to me) and I can't wait to use it. I'm hoping my cable provider will soon have that function for my TV, because I am in the mood to "dislike" 99 percent of the programming I pay a bloody fortune not to watch. I am over my cable bill, and if it weren't for The Walking Dead, Sherlock and one more season of Downton Abbey, I would consider pulling the plug. Speaking of the final season of Downton Abbey, they better FIX all the sh*t they broke over there because I am over it. Over Edith's absurd bad luck, over Anna and Bates even more absurd bad luck, and over Lord Grantham and Thomas having wildly fluctuating personalities to suit their plot lines. You know what I am not over? The Dowager Countess. And in spite of the fact that I am over so many damned things I have lost count, she would not want me to lose hope. If I could talk to her right now she'd say: "Don't be a defeatist, dear. It's very middle class." And I'm over being middle class. So onward and upward.