The Stories Behind a Choice

"Planned Parenthood Kills Babies."

It's a sign that pro-life protestors had been waving outside of the Planned Parenthood clinic in Aurora, Illinois, for the last few months. The clinic finally opened its doors two weeks ago, after protesters tried to prevent it, and as Aurora has become a new ground zero for the fevered argument about reproductive rights.

We live in a country where the debate on one of the most powerful and complex issues -- reproductive rights -- is being waged via bumper stickers and signs waved across the street from health clinics. It consists of such bumper stickers as: Abortion Stops a Beating Heart. Abortion: A Doctor's Right to Make a Killing. Chastity: The Choice of the Next Generation. Choose Life: Your Mom Did.

There is an unsettling vagueness to these one-line proclamations. For every choice is more complex than a slogan. As Francine Prose notes in her essay for our anthology, Choice: True Stories of Birth, Contraception, Infertility, Adoption, Single Parenthood and Abortion, which I co-edited with Nina de Gramont, the language of Roe V. Wade describes the decision to have an abortion as influenced by "one's philosophy, one's experiences, one's exposure to the raw edges of human existence."

What is it like, after all, to make any sort of reproductive choice? What is it really like to use birth control, to have an unplanned pregnancy, to give birth, to use the morning after pill, RU-486, or have an abortion? What is it really like to adopt a child, to place a child for adoption, to be adopted?

As writers and teachers of writing, we believe in the specific. We tell our students to stay away from name-calling, clichés, and vague writing. For when a story becomes specific, we find out what it is truly like to make any sort of choice -- we find out the faces behind the slogans.

Listen to Professor Janet Ellerby, who was forced to place her child for adoption when she became pregnant at 16. When she finds out she is pregnant, she says, "My body was not my own; perhaps it had never been. When it had escaped my control, Alec had immediately taken it up, and when he had abandoned it, a baby had claimed it. I did not completely understand that my body was my own dominion, that I could say what did and did not happen to it. In significant ways, women were not led to believe that they owned their bodies."

Or listen to writer Susan Ito, who developed toxemia of pregnancy and had to terminate her pregnancy two weeks before the fetus would be viable. On the verge of having a stroke, she said that having a stroke at age 29 would not be a big deal; she had an image of herself leaning on the baby's carriage, supporting herself "the way elderly people use a walker."

"I'm not going to lose this baby," she told her husband.

"I'm not going to lose you," he said. And after the longest night of her life, she relented.

Or listen to writer Katie Allison Granju, who found out, when she was pregnant, that she had Cytomegalovirus, which could lead to congenital neurological impairment of the fetus. She was advised by many people, including her doctor and minister, to consider her options; she even scheduled an abortion. Then she cancelled it. Her daughter was born infected with the virus. She says, "I am deeply aware that I was graced with this experience, which has allowed me to see that the blessing is sometimes as much in the struggle -- from which I have learned so much -- as in the outcome."

These are the raw edges of human experience that Roe v. Wade alludes to; these are the complex places that a bumper sticker can't address.

Tom Brejcha, Chief Counsel for the Fox Valley Families Against Planned Parenthood said that the pro-lifers want to buy the Planned Parenthood building and lease it to health professionals who "strive to heal, and not kill human beings."

Perhaps Brejcha might want to hear the stories of all the women who go to Planned Parenthood -- who go also for contraception, cervical exams, to get screened for STDs. And he may want to hear the stories of why some are getting their abortions -- and how they may be important to them at this particular moment in their lives.

He -- and the protesters at the Aurora clinic -- may want to stop for a moment and listen.

Karen E. Bender is the author of the novel Like Normal People and is co-editor, with Nina de Gramont, of the anthology Choice: True Stories of Birth, Contraception, Infertility, Adoption, Single Parenthood and Abortion, to be published on October 19 by Macadam Cage.

Comments

[vibrantgirl]

I thank you for providing real human stories about the agonizing choice a woman faces when she is considering abortion. Just as several people have commented on the fact that in a war, one side doesn't want the other to be humanized, I concur, but from the perspective of a person who had an abortion and deeply regrets making that choice. On this issue, the pro-choice people are as guilty as the pro-lifers in seeing the issue as purely black and white. And it isn't.

I am not a religious zealot, or an anti-choice nutjob, and I was not poverty-stricken or a teenager at the time I got pregnant. I don't fall into the statistical categories typically trotted out for the benefit of bolstering anyone's position. I was a terrified twenty-something looking for a way out of my situation. And it was easy at Planned Parenthood, with virtually no counseling. It was too easy.

I am compelled to post here because the majority of opinions expressed have been wildly assumptive about the nature of pro-lifers. They are not a majority of white guys who want to control women, and they aren't necessarily ultra-religious people. Often they are people who have experienced an abortion, or who believe that life begins at conception. That isn't crazy, by the way. It has as much validity as the idea that life doesn't begin until a baby is born. No one knows for sure.

I hope that in your book you included stories of women who made the decision to have an abortion, and their subsequent despair and regret, for the sake of humanizing both sides of the debate.

[ihavenobias]

It's fine if *you* personally believe life begins at conception or think most people might regret the choice to abort, etc.

In fact, that is exactly why I would never think to *force* anyone to get an abortion, even if *I* thought they were financially and emotionally unprepared to care for that potential baby.

It reminds me of the gay marriage issue (realizing this may or may not apply to you specifically). Ok, so maybe you (speaking generally here) are against gay marriage.

Great. If you're a man opposing gay marriage, I applaud your right NOT to have to marry another man if you don't want to. If you're a woman, no one should FORCE you to marry another woman if you don't want to.

But that's just it. Regardless of how you come to the conclusion, you're talking about making *someone else* behave a certain way rather than being content with the fact you personally will not have to compromise *your* personal beliefs.

When it comes to, say, shooting a stranger, 99.9% of people agree (unless it was in self defense, an accident, etc.) that act is murder to be punished.

But the fact is, a strong majority of people are pro-choice, at least stating that there should be *some* abortion allowed.

In that context, fighting tooth and nail to reverse this law seems antithetical to our democracy (sort of like our current representatives not winding down the Iraq occupation despite 65-70%+ opposition).

PS---Like I've said before, how much of the post-abortion-regret women have is related to pressure from pro-life friends, family and strangers who *make them* feel guilty and ashamed for what they did, intentionally or unintentionally?

While we can never quantify that and I wouldn't suggest the answer is 100%, I do think that's a relevant question.

theyoungturks.com

[sesuit]

Vibrantgirl, the book does include stories of women who have negative experience with abortion.
We also have a blog, where we hope women will tell their own stories. We'd love to have you contribute (you can do so anonymously if you prefer). Just send your story as an attachment, or paste it into an e-mail, and send to [e-mail]. We will post it on our website, www.choice-stories.com.
Thank you!

[mimsnpips]

I was in a serious relationship with a woman that chose abortion approximately 20 years ago. Even before we met I knew it was a hot topic between the church I used to attend (before I came to my senses) and politics. Pictures of aborted fetuses on Sunday morning for one thing.

She shared much with me, and not getting too personal, she has accepted her choice, sometimes wonders 'what if', but is the proud mother of 4 children.

I say that to say this: I learned a lot from this lady.

No one needs all these f'ing bumper stickers and signs. Guilt is not a valid reason to have a baby. That's all these supposed 'christians' are spreading-GUILT- to benefit their own need to rescue people that don't need rescuing.

Women will choose for themselves whether abortion is legal or not. Are they going to be locked in jail for having an abortion? Even the bulbous OxyRush Lintball believes in the right to choose.

The fanatics have turned their back on the basic biblical principles of love, unconditional love, no questions asked love. They are light years away from this precept.

Neo's and other fanatics: leave Planned Parenthood alone.

[motayl]

Do you even know, what"s at the core of the Roe v. Wade decision? RIGHT TO PRIVACY! Read this: "This right of privacy, whether it be founded in the U.S. Const. amend. XIV concept of personal liberty and restrictions upon state action, as the court feels it is, or, in the U.S. Const. amend. IX reservation of rights to the people, is broad enough to encompass a woman's decision whether or not to terminate her pregnancy." Then, just respect this right. Don"t put your religiously zealous, personal beliefs ahead of someone else"s VERY personal situation and decision. For women facing decision of abortion, all help, advice, counseling should be available, and not an empty criticism.

[ihavenobias]

Before anyone decides to post another comment on this thread, they should read this abortion piece from Huffpost earlier this week:

huffingtonpost.com/cristina-page/the-deafening-silence_b_68950.html

[QuietObserver]

Thank you for your post. I am a hospital chaplain and I have had the honor of sitting with parents as they struggled with difficult choices. In my experience, parents make the best decisions they can for themselves and for their babies. Tragically, sometimes ending the pregnancy is the lesser of evils. Sitting with families, praying with them, crying with them, and hearing their stories has taught me that abortion is a decision that can be made out of love.
I strongly believe that these choices should be left to families and their doctors. We should be loving parents and supporting them in their grief. If pro-lifers had any real backbone, they would be at the bedside holding the mother's hand, not heckling them from across the street.

[ihavenobias]

With regard to the point that many unwanted children end up in horrible conditions (and the fact that there is no waiting list to adopt minority babies), I've said the following:

This is where someone jumps in to rattle off an exception or two about someone born into squalor that rose above and had a wonderful life, or about a friend of theirs who adopted a few non-white children, etc.

But those things are just that, *exceptions*, in that they are exceptionally rare.

Sure, the child doesn't have a choice between life and no life, but he/she also doesn't have a choice between a decent life or horrible one.

For the record I'm pro-life. That is, Pro *quality* life.

PS---Same deal with euthanasia. Forcing someone who's living with incredible physical suffering due to say, terminal throat cancer, to continue living against his/her wishes is a horrifying prospect.

Then there's keeping someone who is completely brain-dead alive (think Teri Schiavo) primarily because you wish to delay or avoid dealing with the inevitable and (understandably) hard process of letting a loved one go.

This makes even less sense if you believe that your loved one will go to heaven once their body dies as their mind essentially has.

[Mormondude]

Squalor is relative. If we killed every person that would be born into conditions that we here in the US would consider 'squalor', it would be a pretty lonely planet...

America is the great land of opportunity. Streets paved with gold. Anyone born here should be thanking God for it, since the alternatives can be so much worse.

And despite the hardship of life, how many people would actually reflect back after a lifetime and say, "Gee, I wish I had been aborted"?

[ihavenobias]

It's funny, because I provided a rebuttal to your comments on the the *other* abortion thread which you seemed to ignore.

At any rate, there's a difference between actively "killing" every person that might be born into horrid conditions and simply factoring likely horrid living conditions into a *comprehensive* argument for abortion.

I mean, the bottom line argument was touched on in the other abortion thread (the one you retreated from), that is the fact that making abortion illegal actually INCREASES the number of deaths (to those alive and yet to be born) and doesn't even stop abortion.

huffingtonpost.com/cristina-page/the-deafening-silence_b_68950.html

And no, that's kind of the point, once someone is here, they *generally* fight to stay alive, because it's hardwired into our genes (otherwise we'd have died out long ago I'm sure) along with the desire to reproduce.

But the fact remains that while America may have opportunities, the idea that "the streets are paved with gold" is absolutely absurd and insulting to those born into these horrid conditions *within the US* (horrid conditions aren't only dictated by geography, consider the quality of parents or caretakers or lack thereof).

Arguing that there are even MORE horrid conditions in say, third world countries, isn't really a good argument. And again, financially and emotionally unprepared parents exist all over the globe, as do drug addicts, molesters and physical abusers.

It seems we are both pro-life. The difference is (to me) that you're pro-quantity and I'm pro-quality.

In fact, that's also why I strongly support zygotic stem cell research and euthanasia.

PS---So what do you say, are you willing to support my Pro-Life tax increase that would only apply to those who check the "pro-life" box on their tax forms (see my other post for more details)?

[cranecat]

"How many people...?"

Me for one.

I was adopted (in the days before roe) by some very terrible people. Back then, since they had so many children to place, they didn't care who they gave them to. Especially church groups. The Lutheran church placed me (and my brothers and sisters) with a "nice" lutheran couple when we were infants.

This good, church-going couple then proceeded to ruin our lives. My "fathers" excuse for sexually abusing us? "Your not my REAL kids. So it's OK."
So after years of physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse the lives of 4 children were ruined. My brothers and sister ended up as alcoholics and drug addicts. I have had to deal with the emotional scars as well.

Of us all, I have handled this terrible childhood the best, and since the age of 12 when I found out what is was, I have WISHED THAT MY MOTHER HAD AN ABORTION. And I still feel that way 35 years later.

As for thanking god - I quit believing in god a long time ago. You can thank my "good christian" parents for that.

[sdskelton03]

Although bumper stickers don't convey all of the complexities that go into a reproductive decision making and the truth they present may be incomplete, some are undeniably truth.

And for some, myself included, these complexities, although heartbreaking to those involved, are largely irrelavant in the greater context of the legality of abortion.

I weap for the woman who was forced to terminate 2 weeks prior to viability. And her personal story is relevant in understanding abortion in many ways. However it is completely irrelevant to Roe or any discussion regarding the legality of abortion. The voices that would condemn her are very few and of little consequence or value.

[Sceptic42]

Except that laws written by zealots that don't take into account the health of the mother *would* have condemned her - to having the stroke at least, and possibly death as well.

The sad part is that there are many anti-abortionists who "weep" for this woman's loss, but would shrug their shoulders if their preferred policies ended in her death.

[sdskelton03]

No they wouldn't and you know it. Sceptic, her life was clearly in danger and nobody, not even evil pro-lifers, argues that woman should be forced to die rather than have an abortion.

Why lie and present an argument that you know is false? It doesn't do your side any good and doesn't advance any sort of conversation. All it is is bullshit propaganda and you should be ashamed of yourself for using it!

[ihavenobias]

I live in a suburb directly next to Aurora and have seen "life" vans with grotesque abortion images.

And I've listened to some Catholic Radio (interesting to hear the warped perspective) and people often point others to websites where they can view disgusting images of aborted fetuses, etc.

Yes, these images disturb even me, a strong pro-choice advocate.

But is showing people pictures really a logical, well thought out argument?

Should ANYONE base ANY decision on a picture alone?

Why don't I create a "choice" van with pictures of unwanted foster kids being molested or falling into the world of gangs, drug, prostitution and ultimately, prison?

Are there long lines of people waiting to adopt *minority children*?

Come to think of it, that might make an interesting picture...

[sdskelton03]

I don't know if images are a well thought out argument, but then they don't need to be.

That young naked girl running from the napalm said a lot about vietnam.

The picture of the piles of bodies was a strong argument against the nazis without a single word used.

[ihavenobias]

As I replied below, a picture can be *part* of a reasonable argument but too many rely on it as THE argument.

Is it worth a 1,000 words? It *can* be but it's not always that way.

I would feel EXACTLY the same way if someone made a van filled with pictures of dead Iraqi's. That does NOTHING to advance the debate, it just angers people (for different reasons), but rarely in a productive way.

We're never going to have a reasonable discussion on this issue if people base their arguments primarily or only on emotion.

In fact, that's true on just about any issue.

[RamonBackwards]

It doesn't have to be a logical, well thought out argument. It's an important piece of information that should always be acknowledged in any debate over the policy. The policy should never be determined by purposely denying accepted fact.

This is absolutely no different from the left using images of war dead to promote an anti-war message. Shouldn't the pro-war nutcases be aware of the destruction they are causing? Yes of course they should.

And a parent should be aware of exactly what she is doing when she has an abortion.

And I have to add, using the difficult lives of "unwanted" children as a supporting argument for abortion seems to me to be... well... hmmm... what's the right word... retarded.

[ihavenobias]

But that's just it, I DON'T think showing a picture of dead Iraqi's IS a *good* argument against the war.

It's ONLY an appeal to emotion, and while emotion does and should play a role, it should only play a role *to an extent*.

How about instead of people wasting time harassing women in front of clinics and holding up signs they spend their time, money and energy on improving the foster care system until it becomes a viable option?

[klmebane]

so you're running to the orphanage to adopt a few minority kids, right?

[ihavenobias]

Actually, NOT factoring in the difficult lives of unwanted children as *one* (important) part of a *comprehensive* abortion argument would be the "retarded" thing in this case.

PS---I assume you'd be willing to check a box on your tax forms each year designating that you're pro-life and would therefore like to have an additional % of taxes due to the government in order to support children born into the aforementioned difficult situations?

[klmebane]

i live near aurora too... what burb are u in?

[ihavenobias]

Nap.

[Ilvfredum]

I don't think abortion should be used as birth control. Men should be held responsible for their actions but they should also have a say in the babies life after the baby is born. Is it okay to be pro-abortion and be anti-death penalty. Murderers should be spared while innocents are murdered? There are legitimate reasons to have an abortion but birth control is not one of them. Pregnancy is the fuckin' you get for the fuckin' you got. Be responsible for your own actions.

[ihavenobias]

Exactly who DOES think abortion *should* be used as birth control (and who would make that determination of motive anyway)?

Also, it's funny how people have an attitude of "you made your bed, now sleep in it" on this.

The real question is should we *force* people who are emotionally, experientially and financially unprepared to have kids?

Yeah, yeah, I get it, they shouldn't have had sex in the first place (insanely unrealistic) or should have used birth control (I agree on that), but the point is you are now punishing the KIDS if you force them into a situation where they won't be properly cared for.

The fact is that most abortions in the US are by poor, minority women. Again, I ask, where are the long lines waiting to adopt these non-white babies?

So don't tell me adoption is an option, because it's not a *viable* option in most cases.

Also, don't tell me that the horrible foster care system is an option either.

How many kids (as I've said over and over) end up in situations of abuse, molestation, drugs, gangs and eventually prison?

All that so you can wag your finger at the (possibly) irresponsible parents who "shouldn't have had them" and say "tisk, tisk, you made your bed, now sleep in it".

[sdskelton03]

And you can avoid punishing these children by having them dismembered alive in the womb with no painkilling drugs??!?!

[klmebane]

we aren't talking about using abortion for birth control. focus. better access to birth control would do more to prevent abortions than making it illegal. i couldn't have an abortion myself, but i know there are times when that really is the best choice. how many minority children have you adopted?

also, there are many instances of people being convicted for crimes they didn't commit. any system that will execute innocent people and excuse it by saying they deserved it needs to be re-examined.

[Lon]

The reality is that there are enough differences in the death penalty case and the abortion case that no combination of opinions on them is inherently contradictory. These are arguments that may be effective for either or both sides, but they are bad arguments nonetheless.

Supporters of the death penalty tend to believe that the people who face the death penalty are people who have forfeited their rights to life through their actions. And usually they believe the stronger claim that they have brought upon themselves some kind of necessity of justice that their life be ended through their actions. Obviously this is not and cannot be the case with fetuses.

But, of course the reason it cannot be the case with fetuses, is because fetuses so clearly lack the qualities of personhood that make any kind of responsibility coherent. Which is to say, that people who are anti-death penalty (actually this applies to absolutist positions on the death penalty, pragmatic opponents of the death penalty don't get anywhere near a contradiction) believe that the rights of people come with a degree of development that murderers have and fetuses lack.

Which is just to say that while there are important arguments on the death penalty, these charges of inconsistency tend to do more to show that the person making the charge doesn't really feel the need to understand the view of the person being criticized.

[ConcernedAboutRFuture]

Yeah, it would be nice to hold the man accountable... if you can ever track him down. Many men are deadbeats and if they don't take off... they claim poverty by getting CASH only jobs and then refuse to pay any support.

You must live in a state of honorable, honest and educated men.... all of them. Please, let women know... many of them are looking for fathers and husbands just like them.

[Lcubed]

If women used abortion for birth control they would be having thirty abortions over their lifetime. This is NOT the case in the US. It may make for a convenient "talking point" for you but it is false and misleading.

Responsible parents care what they can provide for their children. So people who CARE about raising children will need contraception and abortion.

[maddogbitesback]

Brejcha and other anti- abortionists will never change their minds. They know they are right because they know what God says. They believe they have the right to make everyone else do what they say just as they believe everyone must do what they say God says. It is so much easier than growing up and thinking for yourself.

Everyone remembers having to do what Daddy said. Everyone remembers believing that what Daddy said was true. Growing up is not having to believe Daddy knows everything and that what he has to say is just one man's opinion. Growing up is understanding the answers to life are not in the back of the book. The religious right - the anti life anti abortionists feel better with bumper stickers. One sentence to define something is so much easier than actually thinking about the ethics of what they have to say. They do not even accept the facts - the statistical facts of better sex education and the right to abortion leads to fewer abortions.

They do not accept the fact that a hundred and fifty years ago God had no problems with abortion. So how come he does now.

Stone them. Wow. That is what God wants people to do. Of course Jesus said no to stoning but back in the Old Testament it is a group practice by the community since it is a community decision and all must help kill the disobedient son or the woman who strayed from their path because she was raped or whatever.

[cranecat]

"They know they are right because they know what God says"

Most people think they know what the bible says about abortion. Most people are wrong.

The bible never mentions abortion at all. As for the killing of unborn children, there is only ONE refrence and the bible is quite clear:

The bible says an unborn baby IS NOT a person.

It has the same value as a cow or a sheep. Read Exodus 21:22. It clearly states that the penalty for killing a fetus is a monetary fine and that the father of the baby gets to determine the amount of the fine. (the same as killing someone's cow.) It also states that if the Mother of the fetus is injured, that the law of "eye for an eye" applies, since SHE is a person.

Oh, and if you want to argue that the verse refers to "accidentaly killing" the unborn baby, remember that in the old testament there was NO excuse for accidental death. The penalty was still death. If you accidentally killed a PERSON, you were sentenced to death. (See any number of verses in Lev. and Num. )

[dawlishgal]

What nobody talks about is the human cost of being born and GROWING UP unwanted, possibly to people who were unwanted themselves and haven't the faintest idea of how to care for and nurture a child.

The anti-choice people always assume that once the baby emerges from the birth canal, it will be wanted, adorable and loved.

I have worked on research re mentally ill children for enough decades to know that many, way too many, children grow up STILL unwanted and uncared for.

Until our society makes some provisions to rescue the lives of the unwanted, any talk of outlawing abortion is premature.

[NABNYC]

The right-wing claims that God intends women to get married, have as many children as possible, and be a servant to their husband. If only women did these things, then everything in this country would be much better.

When a woman makes a decision to do something for herself, such as stop breeding or terminate a pregnancy or pursue a career or get a divorce, the right-wing attributes enormous cataclysmic consequences to that conduct: "This will lead to the end of the U.S. as we know it. This type of selfish behavior by women is destroying our country."

The right-wing basically hates women. They believe that Eve was a sinful and disobedient (one of their favorite words for women) slut, and if it wasn't for her, Adam would never have left the garden. The right-wing in this country is exactly like the Taliban except without the hats and robes.

This whole subject of birth control and abortion is just one manifestation of extreme hatred of women promoted by the right-wing. It would be interesting to do a study linking the rise of the right-wing, particularly the religious ones, as correlated with the rise in domestic violence against women. If you truly believe that a woman who has her own mind and speaks it is going to destroy the entire country, then violence is the clear remedy.

[sdskelton03]

It's a good thing we are no demonizing those we disagree with or building straw men of what they believe so we can set fire to them.

[klmebane]

you can call it what you want to, but forcing someone to do something they don't want to do is oppression. period. the right wing says, don't have an abortion but then doesn't give these new (many times single) moms anything but shit when they have to hold out their hands and say help me.

[roadqueen]

People who are pro-choice will also fight for a womens right to carry her pregnancy to term when she is being pressed not to. The anti-choice have a much narrower view.

[quadman]

roadqueen,

I consider myself pro-life. So how do you explain me supporting her choice to abort her ectopic pregnancy. If she was considering even letting this pregnancy continue, I would have flown out to see her and pressed her to have the abortion to save her life.

Try to understand this:

PRO-LIFE can also be PRO-CHOICE.

BTW, that cousin now has three beautiful children since she had her abortion that saved her life. Thank God for modern medicine.

[klmebane]

you can't carry an ectopic pregnancy to term under any circumstances. so of course you supported her, she and the baby would not have survived had she carried it. i applaud you for your common sense and only wish that more "pro-lifers" had some. i do disagree with your argument that pro-life can also be pro-choice. you might want to recategorize yourself. believing that people should have the right to make their own decisions is what pro-choice is all about.

[starboymikey]

When you're fighting a war, the last thing you want to hear about is something that humanizes your enemy, makes them less villainous and well ... more like you. Historically, populations are rallied to support wars by propaganda about people on the other side of the battle. Orwell's "three minute hate" if you will.

The abortion debate has become a war, and both sides seem just as guilty of not wanting to hear anything that might give the "enemy" a human face. If there is one thing that makes this such a nasty fight it is this.

I am pleased to hear that someone is actually trying to talk about real people instead of merely preaching to the choir on either side of the street. Most of us will probably stick our fingers in our ears and chant "nhya, nhya, nhya" in an attempt to shut it out. But some may actually listen, and in that lies some degree of hope.

[Dap]

Dear Ms. Bender,

I wish ya all the best with your book, it seems to be an excellent primer.

Although I am sorry to say, for the most part it will be preaching to the choir and or falling on deaf ears. Agape.