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Karen Maezen Miller

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10 Tips for a Mindful Home

Posted: 05/22/10 06:10 PM ET

The idea of mindfulness seems to be catching on. That's good, but if we're not careful, an idea is where it remains.

To be sure, mindfulness is a concept most of us like: to improve our lives with special contemplative consideration, a method for making saner choices and assuring better outcomes. To actually transform ourselves with the wisdom of mindfulness, we have to start with the lives we're living from the moment we wake each day. We have to bring mindfulness out of our heads and into our homes. That's where ideas become harder to handle.

Here are 10 simple and powerful ways to bring a day of mindful moments into your home.

Wake with the sun - There is no purer light than what we see when we open our eyes first thing in the morning. Resisting the morning's first waking moment instantly adds stress to your day. Avoiding the sun, you commence a chase that lasts all day long: running short of time, balance, peace and productivity.

Sit - Mindfulness without meditation is just a word. The search for mindful living is always grounded in a meditation practice. Seated meditation is the easiest and fastest way to clear your mind of anxious, fearful and stressful thoughts. Meditation puts your overactive brain on a diet, so you have more attention to bring to the real life that appears before you. You will be far more productive in the ensuing hours if you begin the day by spending five minutes actively engaged in doing nothing at all.

Make your bed - The state of your bed is the state of your head. Enfold your day in dignity. The five minutes you spend making your bed slows you down from your frantic, morning scrambling and creates a calm retreat to welcome you home at night. Plus, making your bed means you've already achieved an even more challenging feat: getting out of it.

Empty the hampers - Do the laundry without resentment or commentary and have an intimate encounter with the very fabric of life. Doing laundry is a supreme act of personal responsibility. It requires maturity, attention and discipline, and it engenders happiness. Don't believe me? See how you feel every time you reach the bottom of an empty hamper.

Wash your bowl - Rinse away self-importance and clean up your own kitchen mess. If you leave it undone, it will get sticky. An empty sink can be the single most gratifying sight of a long and tiring day.

Set a timer - If you're distracted by the weight of what's undone, set a kitchen timer and, like a monk in a monastery, devote yourself wholeheartedly to the task at hand before the bell rings. The time you'll find hidden in a kitchen timer unleashes more of your attention to the things that matter most.

Rake the leaves - Take yourself outside to rake, weed or sweep. You'll never finish for good, but you'll learn the point of pointlessness. The repetitive motion is meditative; the fresh air is enlivening. Lose yourself in doing what needs to be done, without a thought of permanent outcome or gain. You'll immediately alter your worldview.

Eat when hungry - Align your inexhaustible desires with the one true appetite. Coming clean about our food addictions and aversions is powerful and lasting medicine. Eating is so central to family life and culture that we can pass on our habits for generations to come. Mindless overeating feeds our sickness; mindful eating feeds the body's intuitive, intelligent wisdom and nourishes life well past tonight's empty plates.

Let the darkness come - Set a curfew on the Internet and TV and discover the natural balance between daylight and darkness, work and rest. Your taste for the quiet will naturally increase. When you end your day in accord with the earth's perfect rhythm, you grant the whole world a moment of pure peace.

Sleep when tired - Nothing more to it.

 
 
 

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The idea of mindfulness seems to be catching on. That's good, but if we're not careful, an idea is where it remains. To be sure, mindfulness is a concept most of us like: to improve our lives with sp...
The idea of mindfulness seems to be catching on. That's good, but if we're not careful, an idea is where it remains. To be sure, mindfulness is a concept most of us like: to improve our lives with sp...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Melanie Wood
08:21 PM on 05/26/2010
Great stuff, Karen. Thank you! I'm putting these reminders on the fridge, and will encourage my children to develop these rituals.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Kay Goldstein
08:23 AM on 05/25/2010
Wonderful piece Karen. I love it when the written form matches the content.and intent .simple.. mindful..poetic.

And yes..energy does ofllow thought..but our thoughts are influenced by the energy of what is around us. Clearing clutter, restoring order and habit actually allows new energy and creativity to flow freely.
K
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DynamicMentalFitness
11:14 AM on 05/25/2010
Definitely agree with your comment, Kay. As a chaotic mind is brought under "Mindful Management", energetic thoughts are no longer running wild as the faculties of one's mind become less like a roving gang of wild horses and begins to behave as a team of thoroughbreds, properly harnessed, moving one toward ever-brighter horizons. What I've found with myself and folks I train is that mindfulness practice trains one's perception to find those levels of order inherent in the Reality available to our senses and appreciate it - without that growing genius into the patterns, ways, and even machinations of Life, we couldn't place ourselves into the Flow. These perfected perceptual abilities and the joyful states of being they bring naturally attract the Practitioner to Flow, to Order, but neither as a means for control nor from a desperate need for control. Practitioners enjoy perceiving order because prior to gaining such profound knowledge so much seems in disarray. For some who have tried and repeatedly failed to unclutter and find centrality of Being in their life, embracing disarray is self-conceit constructed as a bandaid. Once they find a right teaching or right teacher who shows them the door, they eventually drop the conceit of "I'm fine with being scattered" and immerse themselves enthusiastically in the power of Now. Of course, one has to be Seeking to find. Thank you for your insight.
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jedime
i am.
10:54 AM on 05/24/2010
Reading this reminds me that my outer environment is a reflection of my inner state. It may seem silly to some folks but I know this to be true for myself. Right now I'm looking around a very cluttered house, almost too overwhelmed to get motivated, and I know that my mind is so crowded with crap I've allowed.

Thanks for the reminders!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
DynamicMentalFitness
01:39 PM on 05/24/2010
Your insight into the practicality of her suggestions is very good.
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Melanie Wood
08:19 PM on 05/26/2010
You're definitely not alone there! But instead of dealing with it this very moment, I'm taking a cup of tea out into the garden and doing a bit of weeding in the sunshine. I'm trying to learn to rejuvenate a bit, and then start to tackle the 'crap I've allowed', one bit at a time. It's so hard for me to do 'nothing'. Ugh. Goodluck, jedime!
09:52 AM on 05/24/2010
This borders on puritanical
02:54 PM on 05/24/2010
It's true luxury, true hedonism. Take a look at any upscale travel magazine on the ultimate getaway - it's all about the light, simplicity, unwinding. We can all create more of that.
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Elvira Andretti
07:27 AM on 05/24/2010
when you make your bed it encourages the growth of dust mites. Leave the bed unmade and make a good breakfast like fresh blueberry muffins.
11:08 PM on 05/23/2010
"Lose yourself in doing what needs to be done, without a thought of permanent outcome or gain. You'll immediately alter your worldview."

Yes, do what needs to be done. BUT, something I often see is, women wind up doing a lot of the things that "never get totally done," that must redone again in a short time, over and over again -- many of the very things you cite here (laundry, dishes, making beds, etc.) while the man gets more time to build and repair things the result of which can be appreciated and used for years.

A "mindful home" should include the opportunity for all to be mindful in these ways in order to allow all to have time to be "mindful" about the act of creating something that will be around more than 6 inutes or 6 hours to enjoy.

A "mindful home" will also include tolerance of each other's priorities for "orderliness." When an unmade bed or paperwork left on a table due to demands of daily life becomes more important that a kind word for meeting the needs of that busy day, then being "mindful" (e.g., of others' need for kindness or encouragement as they meet your needs) takes on a whole different meaning.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JudeLaure
10:06 PM on 05/23/2010
That may be true for you jeanne. But for some of us, a messy room really does create a messy mind. I did all my laundry today before reading this post and it helped to quiet my mind. Sometimes when I give in to the repetition and the responsibility of the little things that need doing without question, I find myself in a meditative place where peace and calm and acceptance fills the empty space within me. I think the key in reading posts like this is that they present one view, that view does not have to be your own but for those of us who see in it our own reflections it does help.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Karen Maezen Miller
10:24 AM on 05/24/2010
It's telling to see how much unrest is stirred by the mere mention of making one's bed! Making one thing is as creative as making anything else, and is a spontaneous response to arising conditions when we do not stop to judge it as unworthy of 5 minutes of our time. The most powerful benefit is that it shows us the limiting force of our own judging mind on every other aspect of our lives.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JudeLaure
10:01 PM on 05/23/2010
Something we all need to remember.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Jeanne Dee
09:40 PM on 05/23/2010
Thank you! I really enjoyed this sweet reminder!
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jeanneyogini
08:42 PM on 05/23/2010
When does the state of your bed indicate the state of your head? My state of mind has nothing to do with weather I made my bed or not. In fact, the more clear and creative i am the less it matters what my environment looks like. I think spontaneity should not be sacrificed for going around trying to pay attention. When the mind achieves deep inner transcendence during meditation, it expands to its fullest value and is naturally more powerful and fully present in daily life without having to make one's bed!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JudeLaure
10:04 PM on 05/23/2010
That may be true for you jeanne. But for some of us, a messy room really does create a messy mind. I did all my laundry today before reading this post and it helped to quiet my mind. Sometimes when I give in to the repetition and the responsibility of the little things that need doing without question, I find myself in a meditative place where peace and calm and acceptance fills the empty space within me. I think the key in reading posts like this is that they present one view, that view does not have to be your own but for those of us who see in it our own reflections it does help.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jeanneyogini
11:23 PM on 05/23/2010
JudeLaure, I appreciate what you're saying and agree that taking time to make things orderly in your environment can have an effect on the mind. But I think the potential of human consciousness is such that it can maintain it's own integrity and unboundedness regardless of the environment. The comments are for expressing all points of view, that's what makes them interesting. Thanks for sharing yours, too.
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DynamicMentalFitness
07:59 PM on 05/23/2010
Gratitude. I feel gratitude for being able to understand the nature, depth, and potentially LIFE-CHANGING impact of these ideas because I already walk the Mindful path. Reading through the comments, I am reminded of numerous spiritual teachings to the effect of not casting pearls before swine lest they trample them then turn and rend the one who casts them. Water seeks its own level. Those with eyes to see will do so. The blind will mock, trample, and rend, oblivious to the priceless value of what has been offered. I remember that - long before I actually began the mental training that has provided me with the insight I now enjoy - I was attracted and fascinated by this type of message. It was esoteric and frustratingly elusive. Ignorant, I couldn't quite nail it down, but I could sense how special it must be, and so I would SEEK to know more. A Seeker senses the message, and in accordance to their level of understanding, they perceive it. The more they Seek, the higher their level becomes in an ever-widening vista of unique insight into themselves, other people, and life itself. This article appeals to the genuine Seeker, and simply irritates posers who enjoy the temporal thrill of labeling themselves as profound but who, when in the midst of True, deep waters, sink like a stone. Thank you Karen Maezen Miller for this wonderful gift. You're totally FANNED.

T. Lavon Lawrence
NCMFT-Certified Mental Fitness Trainer
www.youtube.com/dynamicmentalfitness
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
docbets
04:28 PM on 05/23/2010
"Mindfulness" is one of the stupider new words. How about "paying attention?"

Another would be "wellness." How about "health?"

This article is full of good advice. Dailiness can be meditative or it can be the most boring, numbing, aggravating, oh never mind. It is too annoying even to write about.

Mindfulness, my eye.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JudeLaure
10:09 PM on 05/23/2010
I find it interesting the negativity these types of post attract. It's as if the skeptics approach them, barrels blazing, only so that they can prove that what they don't agree with has no merit. It would be much easier, to my mind, to not read the post at all rather than waste the precious moments that can't be recouped on fueling the negative.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
katmeyster
We don't have a spending problem.
03:10 PM on 05/23/2010
When did common sense become "mindfulness"? I guess when it sold books. And a lot of these mindful chores sound like woman's work -- I'd rather sleep in and let someone else do the mindless chores.
11:30 AM on 05/24/2010
This isn't common sense for a lot of people...

Also using the term "woman's work" is extremely sexist. You wouldn't make comments like this if you weren't bitter and unhappy.
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katmeyster
We don't have a spending problem.
01:37 AM on 05/25/2010
Can you imagine a man complaining about chores being called bitter and unhappy?

And I'm not bitter, nor unhappy. I'm raging mad, say it like it is, don't let people tell me what to do, don't spend too much time on mindless chores, and I'm very happy about it.
02:10 PM on 05/23/2010
It's the sort of thing my grand-mother used to tell me to do out of common sense and discipline, and now there's an "expert" or a "PhD" to tell me the same thing. It's funny. I appreciate it though.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Karen Maezen Miller
02:40 PM on 05/23/2010
All sense is common sense, it's just not very common. I'm neither an expert nor a Ph.D. I'm the voice of your grandmother.
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YOGAmrit Yogi Dr Ajay
01:46 PM on 05/23/2010
Enriching home ideas for happy family life. " Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it ".

By A Course In Miracles .OM.