10 Secrets To A Happier Love Life

First, read this list of relationship tips below. When you get to the bottom, I will share with you WHERE they come from -- a surprising source!

1. We all create our relationships to work out issues that need to be addressed. Relationships are one of our best laboratories to discover what we need for our personal growth.

2. We project most of our own undesirable AND fabulous qualities onto our partner. So love is not only blind at times when it comes to seeing what's bad in our partner - but myopic and blurry eyed about seeing who's bad qualities we're seeing. Many are our own.

3. You must learn to own what are your relationship issues and separate them from what are the other person's issues. Basically you must learn to acknowledge your part in the play. We always attract our "equal" on the continuum - either someone who is the same - or the very opposite. When the quality is a good quality in ourselves, this becomes a good thing. When it's a bad quality in ourselves, it becomes a bad thing. For example, a victim tends to find a victimizer. A masochist, a sadist. A giver, a taker. If you learn to lessen your judgments, you will better see how you contribute to the continuum, and thereby better see how you should be changing YOUR behavior, so you can attract a different kind of partner.

4. Ignorance and emotional immaturity cause pain. You will always pick your emotional and maturity equal -- which by the way has very little to do with your actual age. There are still 50 year olds playing in the sandbox.

5. Pain and frustration are the result of not wanting to see reality. You must vigilantly ask yourself: Do your partner's words and actions match up? A strange but true occurance: Your very first meeting with your partner will always give you a peek through the window of what will later unfold in the entire trajectory of your relationship. For example, a person will reveal up front: "I'm not a relationship oriented person." "I'm not ready to open up to someone." "I usually leave/get left." "I'm not a good person." "I'm kinda undependable." "I fib." "I'm too pushy.")

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6. Feigned indifference is NOT an aphrodisiac to emotionally healthy people. What you give is what you get back. If you use "emotionally unavailable" bait, you will lure in "emotionally unavailable" fish.

7. Casual sex is an oxymoron. Sex is the most powerful energy on the planet with clear emotional and chemical impact, so choose your partners with discrimination. You don't want psychic garbage clogging up your system.

8. Likewise, sex without love is SOUL-DEADENING. We are meant to connect deeply in the sex act and when the heart is closed, you short-circuit and distort your energy.

9. Women are looking for their inner male animus in the partner, while men are trying to access their inner female, their anima through their mate. With same sex couples, the same applies. Whoever is playing the male is seeking the female in the other and vice versa. If you want your partner to be more anima and/or animus, you must shift your anima and/or animus energy output.

10. Despite the oftentimes push-pull of even the most dysfunctional relationship, both people choose the relationship.

The above 10 tips came from an interview I did with Patrice Kamins for a book I'm writing about breaking free from dysfunctional relationship patterns, called PRINCE HARMING SYNDROME. The surprise? Patrice Kamins is an astrological consultant, not a psychologist! Candidly, I did not expect to agree with an astrological consultant about how the "laws of universal energy" might affect us in love -- and yet I agreed with all 10 out of 10 of her tips - and so wanted to share them.

Do you believe in astrology? Are you surprised these tips came from an astrological consultant? Curious to hear your thoughts!

And if you want to find out more about Patrice Kamin's astrologically
inspired relationship tips, visit www.interventionista.com. And if you want more love
tips, visit my site at www.notsalmon.com, where I'll sharing more of my upcoming
interviews with a variety of love and sex experts - or sign up for my FREE
Be Happy Dammit newsletter.

Comments

[OldKnute]

1)Choose someone a hell of a lot smarter than you.
2)Date for at least a year. (Practice intimacies outside the bedroom) Hand Holding and looking in her EYES.
3)Learn about Physiology and Human sexual interaction.
4)Think about your Vows seriously, When you commit, do it with all your heart.
5)Build a grouping of QUALITY Friends,, His and hers and YOURS together, family. The kids are HERS,, when you love THEM,,, you are loving HER.
6)Keep all finances separate, Your, Hers and a Joint account for common bills.
7)Make her the focus of your world. If Elisabeth Tailor walked in the room,, you might go Wow, but do it holding her hand.
8)Lear about flowers and what gemstones mean what.
9)Plan for every anniversary, MONTHS in advance and find a surprise gift that will be unique and different.
10)From day one, till you are 80, plan romantic dinners and time together, ALONE.

All the best

Knute Neo-LIB

[collegegirl19]

Those are awesome tips. All you gotta do now is publish a best seller with those tips in them & maybe the divorce rate will go down.

[b9f8]

Astrology is an ancient logic system that requires some skill in the art of interpretation, as Ms. Kamins would confirm. Astrology is the second oldest profession, not something designed to be believed in, as is Santa Claus. Some people believe that Astrological principles are sound, others find it humorous that people could 'believe in' Astrology.

[jane47]

THE BEST KEPT SECRET assures a happier love life when the price of GAS is ZERO

I have included the website of a Utube video as shown on Sky news Australia. The inventors on this website are not the only people who have managed to realise Nikola Tesla's invention. If you are interested in the zero point energy I reccommend Thomas Reardon USA (often maligned in the internet- however in my opinion he has the intregrity of Paul Skinner as I have observed in the BBC interviews) to enlighten the relaity of this reality.

http://dandelionsalad.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/free-energy-home-generator-zero-point-energy-off-the-grid/

http://www.free-energy-info.co.uk/

Australian race car driver, Peter Brock, who died from a freak accident has developed a polarisor which enables a huge reduction in G force on vehicles cornering and stopping... information GMH has secured...

http://forums.thescene.com.au/forums/t/33313.aspx

I have also sent this information to Al Fayed and Mahindra Motors in India, Rio Tinto Chairman Paul Skinner and Prince Charles and if I could find Carlos Ghosn (Nissan Motors ) I would also send this to him

I am only hopeful that someone will be able to investigate why and how we are not able to be afforded this amazing energy source.

Warm regards and many thanks
Jane

[InternationalObserver]

Astrology is bunkum, designed to tell suckers what they want to hear. So no, I'm not surprised these 'tips' came from an astrologer. Give me a dollar and I could write 10 tips too, and everyone would agree with me. It's not hard.

Astrology is based on the 12 signs of the Zodiac. What a shame the planets no longer match up with the Zodiac.

It's bunkum.

[RumiSouth]

IMHO, astrology started as a humbug cover for early psychologists. So many people swear by $cientology because it's psychology (albeit pop psychology) wrapped in a veneer of the fantastic. This propensity for human beings to dress up therapy as religion -- Buddhism, Reiki, etc -- is one of our most astonishing and amusing traits. Ms. Kamen is a keen observer of human nature; the rest is only framing.

[yanayo]

Number 9 is problematic.

"With same sex couples, the same applies. Whoever is playing the male is seeking the female in the other and vice versa."

Whoever is playing the male??? Are we still holding onto gender stereotypes with regards to same sex relationships? Has our thinking not expanded beyond this "role playing" at all?

[Pemo]

Karen, some great tips here & no surprise that the author is an astrologer. I have been a Jungian astrologer for 30 years and find that the astrological chart is one of the best diagnostic tools & a great map of the psyche. My area of expertise is matchmaking & I believe it is helpful to have some understanding of where we match & don't, with a partner. Armed with this information in advance or along the way we can consciously change the dynamics in our relationships. My own algorithm for matching couples is based on my astrological experience along with years of being a Jungian therapist & an accredited relationship coach. Astrology can only provide you with information but then other tools can help us all to have better relationships!

[Nooneyouknow]

The anima/animus thing is way vague, particularly without a definition of anima or animus.

[Meah]

As my Mom always said: "Look it up!"

[Kaira]

These are great tips! Laughter is also one of our most powerful tools. It helps reduce stress and brings people together. On average, Preschool kids laugh 400 times a day but adults only 17 times a day. Laughter always seems to bring happiness into my life! :)

[Kaira]

These are great tips! I also think laughter is very important. It help reduce stress and helps you connect with others. After reading this fact, on average, preschool childern laugh up to 400 times a day but adults only laugh 17 times a a day, I knew laughter was a powerful tool.

[suek]

Another terrific column, Karen! I really especially enjoyed your describing this concept of a continuum -- where we find people on our continuum who represent the opposite of us, if we have an extreme quality that needs some tweaking of moderation. And also, the point about seeing what you need to see up front -- but not wanting to see it! When I look back there were always those "reveals" up front - which I just didn't want to acknowledge! I am surprised this comes from an astrological consultant! But good advice is good advice and this is damn good advice!

[TheBigOpinion]

Love these ten 10 tips! You're my favorite blogger on here! Thanks for all your wonderful words of wisdom, Karen!