If your new partner complains about how all exes have been CRAZY, you should wonder what your honey did to make them crazy. Or wonder if your amour is a Drama Queen or Drama King.
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You don't.
You don't know until you find out. If the person is so horrible that a relationship could never work with them, then why are you dating them, let alone considering a lifetime bond. If the person is merely a good and kind individual with some rough edges, then the true, although unsatisfying, answer is: you won't know until you try.
You might be wrong. It might break up. That's life.
But you won't know until you try, and the only way to REALLY fail at love, as at life, is to be too risk averse -- to not try because you might not succeed. "Tis better to have loved and lost..." blah blah blah.
An extreme example, admittedly, is Anne Hathaway. Talk about love being blind....
Her relationship with Follieri will probably scar her, if not for life, for a long time.
I want my freedom, my freewill, my self-respect, my self-love, convictions, courage too much at this point in my life..
If and when I ever meet a Mr. Right-I'm sure he'll have similiar values cause I don't want to be accused of trying to change anyone-and I'm sure I'll trust my instinct..
I like DH Lawrences' quote about relationships best:
"2 people in a relationship are like 2 stars who rotate around each other, attracted by each others energy but not dependent on each other."
So if one person is doing all the giving-in an unequal amount--or else if you can't see someones' heart/soul-that's not a reason to stay no matter what you've been through with the person.
Gotta see it reflected back at ya..
It's also not my job to pierce any veil between someone elses' soul and mind/ego-a state I think most people stay in most of their life..but for them to want to..
Actions are the best indicator-because every guy of course will tell you he's the greatest,most sincere, most ethical, moral guy ever..but actions will belie that..
and if he spends his lifetime blaming others, coming up with reasons why it's always everyone else-the poor victim manipulative act, without looking at himself..........run like hell.
my 2-cents
Love usually means that one's awareness is focused differently. As they say love is blind.
Those who forever calcuate in regard to relationships, will nost likely, never be able to fall in love, just as they will have problems with falling asleep at night - to many nagging idea's and details, preventing them from letting go into the feeling.
But it CAN tell you when you should resist the initial urges of what you believe to be Love.
If you ONLY follow you're heart, you risk committing to someone who can't/won't really love you back ... even if you establish a relationship/marriage. A partner doesn't have to be *perfect*, but they do have to meet some minimum thresholds and any relationship has to be good for both parties.
Follow your heart in seeking/responding to Love. But don't ignore your head if it scream "Veto!"
It's interesting that people believe reason, the head, to be more reliable than the heart.
If you paid attention to every reasonable thought you had, and wrote them down, then looked at them at the end of they day, you would see just how unreliable, and crazy the head can be. The head can never be relied on, ideas change like the wind.
Often relationships survive, despite all the odds, only because of the Love that is mutually felt, it sustains relationships in a way calcuation can never do. And it can be there for a lifetime, you just have to trust it.