I don't know about you, but I am ready for a little break from bad news. Madoff made off, unemployment is rising, solid families are losing their homes, and stress is ever underfoot. It would be so easy to slip under the waves of fear, depression or just plain anger. So, what to do? The phrase "focus on the positive" is beyond cliché -- but is it?
One of my favorite books to come out of the "positive psychology" movement is called Positivity, by Dr. Barbara Fredrickson. Truly a genius and pioneer in the field, Dr. Fredrickson has been studying positive emotions in her lab long before it was vogue. Her data reveals that negative emotions, like fear, can close down our ability to function, while positive emotions open us up to possiblity, and an increased ability to move forward.
If the whole "Happiness Movement" needed some teeth to it- she's got it, for this is far from 'hearts and flowers' work. In fact, she prefers the term "Positivity" to "Happiness", and stresses the importance and possibility of not just being happy; but flourishing. Isn't that a lovely word? Wouldn't we all love to flourish?
Check out Dr. Fredrickson herself describing "Positivity" and why it is so important at this moment in history. As she says at the end of the clip: "Investing in things that bring us more positive emotions is an invenstment in our future. Choosing Hope over Fear. "
Dr. Fredrickson's came up with a top 10 list of positive emotions, in order of most frequent to least. Allow yourself an opportunity to scroll through the list and ask yourself, "When did I last fully experience this emotion?" The answers may surprise you.
Joy
Joy happens in an instant -- a perfect moment captured when all is just exactly as it should be. Think of a wonderful holiday morning with the family, an unexpected present that delights you, or seeing the first smile on your infant's face. What brings you Joy?
Gratitude
Gratitude is a moment of realizing someone has gone out of their way for you, or simply feeling overwhelmed with your heart opening, after being moved in some way. With gratitude comes a desire to give in return or 'pay it forward' in some way. When did you last experienced deep Gratitude?
Serenity
Serenity is like a mellow, relaxed, or sustained version of Joy. Serenity is a peacefulness that comes on a cloudless day, when you realize there's nothing you have to do. Serenity is indulging in a favorite luxury, and being mindful enough to take it in. Serenity is the moment on vacation when you finally let go. Has Serenity crossed your door lately?
Interest
Interest is a heightened state that calls your attention to something new that inspires fascination, and curiosity. Like a shiny new toy to capture your imagination, interest is alive and invigorating. Interest wakes you up, and leaves you wanting more. What Interests you these days?
Hope
Dr. Fredrickson describes it best: "Unlike other emotions that arise out of comfort and safety, hope springs out of dire circumstances, as a beacon of light. Deep within the core of hope is the belief that things can change, turn out better. Possibilities exist. Hope sustains you and motivates you to turn things around." The inauguration of President Obama brought me Hope. What brings you Hope?
Pride
Ever done something really well that took a little time and effort? Maybe you reached a goal you never thought was attainable? Then pat yourself on the back with unadulterated Pride. Stand back, take that deep breath and let it in -- you earned it. What have you done that made your proud?
Amusement
Think of amusement as those delightful surprises that make you laugh. It's those unexpected moments that interrupt your focus and crack you up. It's a great feeling to have amusement sparkle out of the doldrums and instantly change your perspective. Have you had any amusement in your life recently?
Inspiration
Inspiration is a moment that touches your heart and nearly takes your breath away -- or takes in your breath, as the word literally translates. Inspiration whispers between the strands of your hair, as you watch a perfect sunset, witness academic or athletic excellence, or observe unexpected triumphs over adversity. What brings Inspiration in your life?
Awe
Awe happens when you come across goodness on a grand scale, and you feel overwhelmed by greatness. Awe is triggered when we are faced with the vastness of Nature, or the cosmos. Gazing at the Milky Way and counting the stars, or standing at the top of the Grand Canyon triggers awe. Have you had a moment of awe lately?
Love
Guess what? The list is rigged. Actually, the #1 most frequent positive emotion is here at the bottom. Love encompasses all of the above: joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration and even awe. Love is all that and more. When we experience love, our bodies are flooded with the "feel good" hormones that reduce stress and even lengthen our lives.
How did you make out on your list? Are you experiencing these emotions on a regular basis, occasionally, or hardly any at all? Most importantly, how can we experience them more often?
Let's try an experiment together. All you need are some sticky notes.
Put each of the ten positive words above on a sticky note. For the next ten days, peel off one at a time, and take that word with you, wherever you go, as your daily "flourishing mission." Put your daily sticky note on your dashboard, in your pocket or on the bathroom mirror. Take in the essence of each word, and try to bring it out in others.
Let's see what happens! Be sure to share your comments and experiences, and we will gather again next Sunday to see how it goes! I'd love to include your stories as part of next week's piece!
Follow Kari Henley on Twitter: www.twitter.com/karihenley
Fantastic article! Your philosophy aligns with that of AATH- The Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor! http://www.aath.org/ I serve on the board and am membership chair. I would encourage you and your readers to check us out! We would love to have you join the home for laughter and humor professionals! A little about us:
The Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor (AATH) is an international community of professionals who incorporate humor into their daily lives. AATH is the leader in providing evidence-based information about current research and practical applications of humor.
AATH is both a personable network and a resource for humor and laughter authorities and enthusiasts. Our membership is occupationally diverse, representing the medical, education and public speaking communities.
"OUR MISSION IS TO SERVE AS THE COMMUNITY OF PROFESSIONALS WHO STUDY, PRACTICE & PROMOTE HEALTHY HUMOR & LAUGHTER."
Our members include professionals who incorporate humor and laughter into their lives and work, people committed to humor and laughter, scholars and researchers who study humor and laughter, and all who feel they would benefit from this organization. Humor and laughter are used to enhance work performance, support learning, improve health and as a coping tool
Please join us in our quest to promote optimism, hope and humor!
Thanks again for all you are doing to share this message of positive psychology and hope! YOU ROCK!
I am smiling just reading all about your organization!
I can't think of a better way to lighten a mood than cracking up.
Thank you so much for the information- and the grins! I will check it out.
Take care
Kar
Thanks so much for the response. We are organizing our iAATH (Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor) international conference for April 2010 and would like to talk with you about presenting. Our theme is Biology of Hope. Please contact me at mkmorris@kidsroe.org or go to my web site http://www.questforhumor.com/ As you can see my passion is to bring humor, joy and laughter into the education process.
However, our AATH members are from all walks of life.
Thanks again for sharing the information on positive emotions! Hope to hear from you about the conference! Mary Kay
I love the post-it idea! And, I can't wait to see what the readers discover. It is all about the adventure of loving life, isn't it, no matter what challenges that pursuit. As always, you've delivered an article that gives me so much to digest, and ponder. You are a gem, Kari, an absolute gem. Thanks for the video, too. As a 'shrink,' I experience every day the power of your words and focus.
Love your way,
Cara
I am so glad to share the incredible work of Dr. Fredrickson. I truly think she is a genius in her field. The sticky notes are on my computer! Yesterday was a day filed with joy and today I am certainly grateful to YOU and to all the amazing connections I have made via the Huffington Post.
Thanks for your faithful readership and sharing of comments- it means so much!
kari
I am going to do that too for my kids!
You are awesome!
Enjoy and let me know how it goes:
karihenley@comcast.net
How does that give me hope? Well, because it means that the old games are over. The lies and masquerades don't cut it any more. Very refreshening. Hope-inspiring.
Almost like a rebirth of humanity, isn't it? Just kidding. A whole planet full of toddlers wouldn't be the solution either.
Emotion experts agree that there are only 9 core emotions, as evidenced by the fact that each of these has a distinct facial expression that communicates the same emotion universally.
To see how anger, fear, contempt can be used in a positive context-like getting yourself out of a bad relationship or job, check out my post-The Great Escape.
One of my professors in graduate school was one of the forerunners of "positive psychlogy." Positive psychology has turned into a business-books galore, tapes, etc. In reality, the field has contributed little in the last dozen years-it is always the same old message-postive emotions enrich your life in all ways, "negative emotions" do the opposite.
The key is, "how do we create positve emotions within ourselfs?" How can we create emotions of success, like confidene, and enthusiasm, -these are emotions that create success, whether it is for giving a presentation, playing golf, or taking an algebra test.
To know more about the function of emotions, read The Genius of Instinct: Reclaim Mother Nature's Tools for Enhancing Your Health, Happiness, Family and Work
Thanks for writing in!
I emailed Dr. Fredrickson about some of the dialogue regarding emotions and she did respond back commenting on the variety of theories on emotions and definitions.
I will look up the book you mentioned and check out your post!
I am not sure the entire movement is without merit. I think it is helping bring the general public to an awareness of the validity of focusing on positive emotions, which can be much lighter and harder to weigh side by side with issues like depression and anxiety.
I also agree negative emotions are messages that convey important information. Thoughtful comment, thanks!
I am excited TOO!
Please keep me posted on how it goes!
Feel free to email directly:
karihenley@comcast.net
Have fun with it and have a great week!
kari
It was only a matter of time before someone came up with the "TOP TEN" list of "Top Tens!"
Hilarious!
I will look it up and glad you like the list. This is why I wrote the piece... it was buried in Dr. Fredrickson's book and I felt it was well worth bringing out to the surface and playing with!
Have a great day
Kari
I have to say as usual the timing of your blog is just what I needed. I am planning to make out my post its and work through the list. It is so wonderful to be reminded of what is really important in life. The rest will fall into place. Thanks! You're awesome!!
From a woman I share a monthly women's group- thank you! I am glad you liked it and let's "Compare Notes" on how it went!
Love
Kari
Whoa! You've got that funny format again this week. What's with that?
Meanwhile, I've got my sticky notes all made out and tomorrow, I'm choosing "Amusement". I go for an MRI tomorrow and the thought of lying face down, motionless for 1.5 hrs. doesn't exactly sound like fun, BUT, I "choose to amuse" myself during the process. I firmly believe we can create our emotional states. It all depends on where we place our attention. They're all my favorites, but I especially LOVE gratitude and awe. Love ain't so bad either! It's ALL good! Even the so-called darker emotions have a role to play if we allow ourselves to feel them. It's all grist for the mill......
I think I'll inspire and amuse myself with thoughts of gratitude, love and awe, as I serenely contemplate my interests during the MRI tomorrow. Afterwards, I'll feel pride, joy and hope! How's that for a day's work?
Thanks for giving us this assignment. I can't wait for the MRI..........(oh, guess I don't have to wait, do I?)
Much love,
Judith
Yes!
Brilliant!
I couldn't think of a BETTER word to change a MRI state of mind than amusement!
And, naturally a go-getter like you has to figure out a way to use ALL TEN at once!
Go gettem fireball!
Love
Kari
Great strategy and it worked!