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Karl Kozel

Karl Kozel

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A Guy Walks Into A Bar (Part II)

Posted: 03/29/11 11:05 AM ET

In the first part of this installment, I talked about the bar and suggested a patron's guide to civilized behavior. While there are many more examples that I can cite, I want to address the bartender's side of the engagement because in the interest of fairness, they have a lot of control in setting the tone. So let me address the bartenders whose primary responsibility is to tend the bar.

Being respectful is one of the most important of the building blocks in a civil society. Bartenders or bouncers for that matter have a difficult job to do, in part due to the many types of patrons they have to deal with and the differing levels of intoxication. That being said, it is after all a bar, and people are expected to come in to have a good time and that means different things to different people. To understand that, all you have to do it read the comments on the first installment that I wrote and read the various reactions to what I said. Then you have to keep in mind that those opinions are trickier when you put all of them in a room and serve them alcohol. It can be combustible, and keeping the goodwill going takes a large degree of observing and tending to the guests.

The old adage of "you can't tell a book by its cover" is something all bartenders should keep in mind. Your opinions about anyone's class, race, creed, gender, age, or ethnic origin, might be skewed by your inexperience in them relative to your own knowledge of your own background. Patron's political affiliations are also something that can bring about conflict in your ability to judge character. It is the smart bartender who is open to not only accepting the differences, but who keeps an open mind to the real possibility that they can listen and learn something in the process. When tending the bar, it's usually wise to remain neutral and be a facilitator to the guest's enjoyment. It may not come as much of a surprise to anyone who has read any of my blogs in the past year, but I am a Democrat and have strong opinions about politics. All that aside, I have had many a Republican or Conservative regular over the years and that is due I think to the fact that you don't have to agree with me to drink comfortably at my bar nor should you at anyone's bar. In my humble opinion, bars should be egalitarian establishments who welcome all as long as they conduct themselves with a modicum of respect for others. Diversity in opinions and experiences are what often lead to fascinating discoveries that make for a great conversation, and a lifetime of learning about humankind.

One of the difficult aspects of tending bar is the energy it takes to do it well. Exhaustion is often your nemesis and when one is tired, one can sometimes be less than cordial which leads to misunderstandings and the bad feelings that attitude can engender in a customer. Bartenders have to always remember that they are onstage, and everything they say and do can be heard or seen at all times. It is difficult to be "on" for many hours, so it's important to give yourself a break if you can once in a while even if it's just for a smoke or a trip to the bathroom. Breaking the atmosphere, as it were, can reinvigorate you to the tasks at hand and who doesn't understand that these days? It is virtually impossible to be at your best all the time, so sometimes you have to adjust your bartending accordingly to better handle the socializing and the guest requirements that are being demanded of you. Guests don't really care about your personal issues unless of course they know you socially or have become friends over the bar, so you can't allow any rationale for rudeness. Sometimes, we forget that the guest is paying for an experience, and we have to do our very best to accommodate them in that quest.

When guests are too loud or are otherwise annoying other guests, it is imperative that bartenders handle such incidents with "kid gloves" when at all possible. The same goes with cutting someone off. Give people their dignity I always say, because sometimes people just don't know when their behavior has became boorish. We are all human, and sometimes we go over the edge a bit, or a lot, but gentle persuasion usually won't allow something to escalate beyond the point of no return. Smile, talk to them as adults, and give them your respect the same as you would if they were in your home. Most people can be reasoned with when you take the route of gentle persuasion.

Bartenders have to treat everyone equally. Everyone at your bar deserves to be treated well and in a timely fashion. People that you know or like often are ones that can monopolize your time at the expense of other guests and their needs. Keeping your eyes up and scanning the bar will go a long way to eliminating the scenario where a guest feels ignored and you feel defensive towards their frustrated tone when you finally get around to helping them. Keep your eyes on the bar scene when you can, or if you can't because you are counting change or ringing in a check, try to turn around when you can to see if anyone new has arrived, or if anyone needs anything. If you are making drinks, you still should be able to talk to people and make eye contact too. If you can't do two things at once, (and sometimes you can't) simply acknowledge the guest. By doing so you are at least letting them know that you are aware that they need you. Most people will understand that you are busy in that moment, but will know that you will be addressing them shortly. It's managing people's expectations that go a long way towards alleviating any tensions that could arise from a guest who might be anxious that they haven't been acknowledged.

Let the guest talk. How many times have we been to a bar and the bartender just won't shut-up! It's all about the guest, period. People love to talk and be heard and hopefully one of the reasons that you as a bartender got into the business was because you were a good listener who really liked people. Ask people questions that are appropriate, but make it seem like you are actually interested in them, which hopefully you are. It is a show for sure that you put on each night, but most of the "show" is making guests happy and satisfied and you have to sacrifice your ego to make that happen.

Do the guests really want you hanging around? Sometimes they do, but it is important to "read" people and gauge what is appropriate in that moment. Many times bartenders don't seem to get that and they spend too much time engaging a guest or guests in conversation when sometimes it is highly inappropriate. Are they having a business chat, or is it a couple who want to spend some time alone together in a public place? Bartenders have to gauge that and size-up the situation quickly. Believe me, even if you guessed wrong, people have subtle or not so subtle ways of letting you know. Watch, listen, and find something else to do. It's usually nothing personal. It's just that everyone needs their space sometimes.

Know your stuff. Customers are so much more knowledgeable now, and they don't care that you have other things going on in your life. That's all good, but at that moment you are a bartender, and you should have some basic knowledge at least about what you have on the shelves, and some knowledge of the classic cocktails so people can feel that they can get what they want, or that you can help them. Be the expert, but then again, keep your ears open to listen to them as well.

Enjoy what you do. This goes back to my last point a bit. It is important that you like what you do whatever that may be. Why be miserable? I am sometimes mystified when I am seated at a bar and I can tell that the bartender doesn't like people or their job. I'm mystified because I can't understand why owners hire such people. That is inexcusable and I encourage anyone who encounters such a bartender to save their money and drink elsewhere. The aspiring actor, writer, or lawyer, etc. will have to realize that at some early on in their pursuits that they will have to take a job to "pay the bills". If that person doesn't like people or the job of mixing drinks and keeping guests happy, they should consider other means of employment because it is sheer torture for those guests who must endure such individuals.

In closing, may you all remember to respect each other's differences and keep an open mind in the days ahead.

I'll see you when I see you!

 
In the first part of this installment, I talked about the bar and suggested a patron's guide to civilized behavior. While there are many more examples that I can cite, I want to address the bartender'...
In the first part of this installment, I talked about the bar and suggested a patron's guide to civilized behavior. While there are many more examples that I can cite, I want to address the bartender'...
 
 
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08:44 PM on 04/28/2011
I tended bar for years, during seasonal lay-offs from my regular job. It was a challenge to step behind the bar after a 6 month lay-off, and be befuddled by the current fad drinks that the "kids" would ask for. It always amazed me to hear the stupid names that some of these obnoxious concotions were called, especially when I was in the dark about their ingrediants. Luckily, I was never called too many bad names about being "not with it", because I could make anything if someone told me how, just once. But I have to say, my regular job looked darn good to me after a season of putting up with drunk amateurs. Wouldn't ever consider doing it for a living full-time.
12:24 AM on 04/01/2011
I tended bar for 7 years, and grew to love both the social and the creative aspects of the job. I worked in one of the trendoid-ist bars in a trendoid downtown hotel in SF, and the majority of my co-workers were hot but bitchy girls. I would always be super nice in contrast to my scowling, stand-offish co-workers. One of my favorite lines when a customer ordered a drink was a giant smile, then say, "Ooh, that sounds DELICIOUS". Charmed even the most loutish customers. I also really enjoyed the craft of making a perfect cocktail, whether it be of my own invention (and I developed a drink list full) or simply mastering the art of making a classic cocktail exactly the right way. I even developed a hobby of collecting vintage bar manuals. And yes, I made pots of money; never under $70K. Bartending is a particularly intense job if done well, and you have to really love it to do the job justice. Bullies, snobs and hacks need not apply...
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blurredmolly
Was you ever bit by a dead bee?
09:35 AM on 04/03/2011
I tended for 15 years, which was about 7 too many. When I quit, I never looked back. Too many drunks. And seeing The Speaker of the House? Gives me bad flashbacks.
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butchcliff
The future is unwritten
08:13 AM on 03/31/2011
When the bar get slammed, & the bartender has em six deep & is taking drink orders from
4 or 5 waitresses...bartender is mainly worried about keeping up with it all & keeping
everyone happy. Monumental task really..you have to love the job. Quite satisfying when you
can do it night after night but it burns you out. Pretty hard to stay civil with the customers who
think they're the king or queen of england tho. But you have to, it's your job.
(Just don't tell em what you stirred their drink with. lol.)
03:31 PM on 03/30/2011
I worked in a NYC singles bar on the east side in the eighties. Most nights it was four deep at the bar with three guys making cocktails non-stop for four hours. I do believe you cultivate the kind of customer you would like to serve by encouraging good behavior of those customers with great service. People who were jerks, called out to you or God forbid whistled where often ignored. Of course with the big numbers we were doing, it was possible to not worry about offending patrons who were less than desirable.

To the Black woman who complained about not being able to run a tab--I learned anyone was capable of skipping out on a tab. This was the era when we started to hold a credit card behind the bar for anyone who wanted to run a tab just because the place was so busy and people would "forget" and walk out--not so often when the credit card was behind the bar.

In those days we worked a shift from 7pm until closing which was 4 am. And at four we would have to turn up the lights and tell people to go home--and this was during the week. We made money, fast friends and often went home with the customer--hell, they were waiting since midnight for you to get off--how could you not?
07:17 PM on 03/31/2011
I'm the one who complained. And given that this particular article was the appropriate forum to do so, I feel it's entirely reasonable to broach the subject of why I am denied a tab when the 7 other people I am seated at a table with are not. That's cool though. I cut short my visits and do not return to places that are not interested in taking my money.
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ninjasrolled
Orbiting a small unregarded yellow sun
04:04 PM on 04/15/2011
While that situation was totally not cool, I myself (a bartender) was super tired one night and forgot to pay my tab at a bar (I had asked for it a couple of times, but they were busy, and I was in a conversation with someone). I was halfway home in a cab when I realized it, and had to swing back to pay. ANYONE can forget.

I used to work bottle service where owners made the servers responsible for people walking out on their tab. After owing nearly $500 on bottles of Stoli and Jack that my patrons ordered and then walked out on, you bet your ass I collected credit cards and IDs from EVERYONE, including good customers and friends.
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rich3324
Likes: Chasing villagers. Dislikes: Fire
08:51 AM on 03/30/2011
How about having the bartender taking care of all of the customers, not just the good looking women.
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Ozark Homesteader
http://ozarkhomesteader.wordpress.com
11:47 AM on 03/30/2011
Or tall men.
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Daniel Klein
03:37 PM on 04/01/2011
Hey @Ozark Homesteader. I have some questions for you about foraging in the Ozarks, looking for someone to film with. Could you contact me - daniel at theperennialplate dot com
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adamben
yes i said yes i will yes
01:41 PM on 03/30/2011
what, and change the way our society works? good luck!
02:59 AM on 03/30/2011
Im sorry, it may just be me but this all just seems like a huuuuge duh! Be nice, pay attention to your customers, you're on stage... what is this, a TGI Friday's Employee Handbook? I work at THE #1 club in a very big city, and most of these are utterly pointless to me. Oh and acknowledging everyone isn't so easy when you have 40 people screaming at you, in fact, lack of acknowledgment is the only way to maintain order at times. But I do love my job.
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peegan
Obama 2012
12:47 PM on 03/30/2011
Sometimes people need to be reminded of the basics.
10:49 PM on 03/29/2011
It's nice to have an opinion and all.... but clearly you have never worked in the service industry and yet you feel compelled to lay down all the guidelines! Hilarious! Anyone who is a bartender will read this and just laugh!
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Majestry
11:52 PM on 03/29/2011
Ummm, you must not be a very good bartender if you've never heard of Karl.
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OldTart
Let it begin with me...
10:16 AM on 03/30/2011
Well, I have been a bartender and this is spot on.
09:32 PM on 03/29/2011
Honestly don't know why they lock down the comments on these bartender articles tighter than Sing-Sing. It's ludicrous, if you ask me. People can post their opinions about Scott Walker and Afghanistan without a hitch unless they hit a word trigger, but can't post a simple opinion about BAR CULTURE without some nanny pre-screening.

You've gotta be kidding me.
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chaapai
just an earthbound misfit, I
02:42 AM on 03/30/2011
Oh, trust us… they lock down all the comments. It seems to be a random chance that anything you post will get thru.
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salesdude
Army Kid, world traveler, defender of the people
09:20 PM on 03/29/2011
Neat trick I learned from my boss years ago. Approach the bartender at the beginning of the evening when you order your first drink and hand them a $10 and tell them you are tipping them in advance for the next few drinks. If you figure that you'll have 3-4 drinks and may buy a friend 1-2 then it averages out to about a dollar or two tip per drink. Each time you get a drink from the bartender just keep a running tab in your head as to how much of the $10 you have used. Add another $5 in increments if you are going over the original $10 tip. Even if there are multiple people tending the bar, pick out one you like and do this anyway. They'll tell the others to look out for you, but try to utilize the same one every time.

Trust me on this...you will never wait to get a drink, and/or your glass will never be empty. At the end of the night thank them personally for looking out for you. It wouldn't hurt to throw in an extra few bucks anyway at this time too. It's one thing to be a "big shot" tipper, it's another thing to be a "big shot" tipper who tips in advance.

BTW if you don't use the whole $10 tip that night, don't ask for it back!
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OldTart
Let it begin with me...
10:17 AM on 03/30/2011
Lord I love a man with savoir faire!
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salesdude
Army Kid, world traveler, defender of the people
05:09 PM on 03/31/2011
"Old dudes rule..." there are a few of us true gentlemen left Tart! ;-)
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skantea
A Resource Based Economy
09:06 PM on 03/29/2011
As a Black person I admit, I'm used to being passed over at a busy bar. It's practically automatic if i'm in a majority Caucasian bar. If I make a face or get an attitude, forget it, I'll have to get some pretty girl to get to order for me. My usual m.o. is too ride it out, wait till the bartender finally can't pass me over again without the other customers noticing and getting offended for me, breeze through my order and leave a tip. The tip usually ensures that next time he'll be more democratic. Recently I was in Tahoe and a Black bartender was even worse. Same thing at casinos.
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peegan
Obama 2012
12:51 PM on 03/30/2011
You are a far more patient and understanding person than me. I realise that bartenders, like all people that work on tips and commission, tend to cherry pick their customers. But to make that bad a judgement call in this day and age is ridiculous. I am not sure I would trust a barkeep that dense to pop the cap off a beer for me.
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adamben
yes i said yes i will yes
01:44 PM on 03/30/2011
that's horrible.
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Thumbody
just for the halibut!
08:48 PM on 03/29/2011
Hitting on and dating the customers can lead to a drink in your face once in a while. My college buddy found out the hard way.
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Endotoxin
Blast Corps
09:55 PM on 03/29/2011
Ouch.
acidfree
my micro-bio needs a micro brew!
11:23 PM on 03/29/2011
Hopefully it wasn't a hot toddy or something flaming...
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chaapai
just an earthbound misfit, I
02:43 AM on 03/30/2011
a flaming Moe perhaps?
08:15 PM on 03/29/2011
Let me start off by saying that I love my bartenders, I love my drinks, and have very few complaints. But with that being said, I generally have two recurring problems with bartenders contingent upon where I drink and I hope I don't get attacked for bringing this up. Because there are some here that are present or past bartenders, they may be able to shed some light.

I'm a Black woman who lives and works in the suburbs. The only time I generally drink in this locale is the occasional after-work drink with co-workers. I find that from the time I approach the bar, I generally receive slower and poorer service than other patrons, which I suspect is based on a perception of the size of my order and ability to tip. This is unfortunate, as I generally buy a round of drinks for all or at least a portion of my co-workers and I also tip above and beyond what they would tip, as they're all midwestern, analytical accountant-types and I'm not.

Also, I have arrived slightly late to afterhours functions with White co-workers, only to be asked by bartenders to pay as I go, when they have been extended a tab. Not only is this dysfunctional for a lengthy evening, but it is also rather embarrassing. I frequent bars in the city with a more diverse clientele and have never had these problems.

Just my experiences...
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adamben
yes i said yes i will yes
01:50 PM on 03/30/2011
when we (wife african-american me jewish, so hyper-sensitive) were in hawaii and our very own waitress kept avoiding our table and not placing our whole order, which we kept repeating. the chef came to our table perplexed and when we told him what was happening the manager, maitre de' and the owner too came out, and they all looked pissed off. that waitress was fired.
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BlueZoo
Independent voter, Independent thinker!
08:14 PM on 03/29/2011
Either you're a good bartender or you're not. I don't believe it can be taught. Our favorite local watering hole has all female bartenders. They flirt & tease my significant other and they treat me like a queen. When I ask about some drink somebody has ordered and what goes into it, they not only tell me about it but let me have a sip of it on the side. (Note: Never, EVER, order a Jim Jones!) They know our first names and they know what we drink but they always ask before pouring. These gals are in their late-20s and early-30s and I like each and every one of them!
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Mitch Craft
I totally melvined death
08:08 PM on 03/29/2011
I am a bartender and I have some rules for costumers. 1. Dollar tip a drink at least. 2. do not order huge meals from the kitchen 10 min before it closes, fried food fine, but steak dinner and or a French Dip at 10 min to midnight is lame. And I realize I am gonna get some backlash here so let me just say this. When I go to a bar and the server is a jerk and or rude I still tip, and when I come back they are no longer jerks, know your name and what you drink.
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adamben
yes i said yes i will yes
01:56 PM on 03/30/2011
i always tip 20% if not more. however, if the service is poor i go down to 15% and, on the rarest occasions i leave 10% when it was very poor. that being said, and not that i've done this in a long, long time, but if service is a disaster and they don't give a s*** then i'd have no problem leaving no or very little tip and letting the manager know since there is a disconnect between service and reward.
yappnmutt
humping legs for liberty
07:30 PM on 03/29/2011
good bartenders are hard to find. i drink a double tangeuray in a tumbler(or scotch glass) filled to the top with ice with a spray of lime rind(not the juice). that drink is impossible to get made correctly.
08:02 PM on 03/29/2011
Apparently impossible to spell correctly as well.
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OldTart
Let it begin with me...
10:20 AM on 03/30/2011
So just stay at home and do it yourself. Duh.