Did you take the breastfeeding class offered at the local hospital before birth? Check! Did you talk to every friend and family member who had a baby before you about their breastfeeding experience? Check. Did you think you would be able to breastfeed? Check.
If you were like me, you had every intention of breastfeeding your new baby. Why not right? The financial savings are enormous. The cost of formula is another added expense. On top of that, the bonding and social trend to breastfeed is strong. As Mom, you are supposed to feel "closer" to your baby right? The (temporary) health benefits of breastfeeding are supposed to support baby's immunity. With all these benefits, why not breastfeed?
My baby was born. I was in recovery and my baby was H-U-N-G-R-Y. He latched on and began to voraciously eat. The nurses were shocked and frankly so was I. We went to our room and he continued to be an eager eater. The nurses and breastfeeding coaches agreed. But guess what was happening? There was no milk coming. Between labor and delivery, I was in the hospital five days. There was no milk. He was starving. He dropped so much weight we couldn't leave if he didn't regain. But the most heartbreaking part was his SCREAMING. He wouldn't stop screaming.
That's when my husband and I asked for a bottle. The nurses took Parker away. They weighed him (again) and said he needed formula. The goal was to breastfeed AND formula feed for him to eat and gain. I was relieved and I am not ashamed to say that. Breastfeeding was not going well and I was frustrated and struggling.
I know, I know, breastfeeding mommas around the world sigh and shake their heads. It was "probably" because I was too stressed, or not getting enough water, or not eating right, or not this or not that. Yeah, yeah, believe me, I heard it all. The breastfeeding coaches made me feel so horrible for not producing milk, I begged my husband, in tears, get us out of there. I needed to go home so I could make my own decisions about feeding my child without being harassed. (And yes that is how I felt).
I left that hospital and never looked back. I went home and I did continue to attempt to breastfeed and bottle feed for 6 weeks. I stopped breastfeeding at 6 weeks because there was no point of feeding 1 ounce of breastmilk to a baby who was eating 4-6 ounces a feeding (he was a big baby and a hungry one). My husband was very supportive of our decision. He was actually relieved when I stopped breastfeeding. He enjoyed feeding our son, and he enjoyed being able to help me. I took Friday nights off and he fed the baby overnight. He liked being able to do that for me and for our son.
There is NO SHAME in feeding your baby. It doesn't matter how you feed your baby, you just need to feed your baby. I don't have a problem reminding new moms of this. Most friends and family I know have been successful at breastfeeding and good for them. What a great experience to have. What money they saved. It's great. But if you can't, or you just don't want to, breastfeed that is fine. You don't have to. You live in a free country with the option of feeding your baby formula from a bottle.
I do not regret anything about my decision. In fact, if we had ever decided to have another I don't even think I would have tried to breastfeed -- and I AM NOT ASHAMED. There are many reasons why. My first experience of no milk production leads me to believe I might not produce again. But honestly, I enjoyed being able to share the feeding experience with other family members.
Let's just stop the guilt and shame associated with feeding babies. If you haven't noticed there is a strong breastfeeding movement. It's everywhere. What an amazing experience and you have the right to be proud you fed your baby from the breast. But formula feeding mom's -- kudos to you for feeding your baby also. Babies with full tummies are the happiest babies ever.