Grown unschooler Peter Kowalke is asking the world if homeschoolers are idealists. He writes on his blog:
We're idealists in that we don't accept human frailty and the ills of the world as unavoidable fact. We try to change things, to better ourselves, to live up to ideals. We want to actually BE our ideal, not just worship it, and we go out and make it happen.
Is this good, or are we spinning our wheels and fighting battles we can't win? Do we ultimately come back to the status quo after a long struggle trying to be better than the norm, or do we somehow avoid being THAT kind of idealist?
I was homeschooled, and I don't know. Maybe we're practical. We see another way to do things that makes a lot of sense, so we try it. We know it won't work for everyone, but we think it might work for us.
Often, people assume that the presence of homeschooling is, at its heart, a critique of a broken education system. You could make a pretty sturdy argument there. But on an individual level, staying out of school seems more like having the space to make your own choices than a cry for revolution.
Not everyone can homeschool. Not everyone would be better off homeschooling. Not everyone secretly wants to be homeschooled, as I sometimes believed as a child ("But don't they want to play outside all day, too, Mommy?").
It's true -- homeschooling requires bravery. You have to be willing to be different. You will have to answer a lot of questions that start with the words, "But socialization...." You will have to repeat yourself to the next person. Homeschooling implies confidence. You are willing to be different because you believe that there's value there. And yes, idealism can fit into that mix.
But for the kids -- for those of us whose parents didn't sign us up for preschool or kindergarten when the other kids were all being signed up -- we aren't idealists. We're just kids.
And when we grow up, maybe we feel idealistic because we have learned that being ourselves is a fine way to be, and that our interests are educationally meaningful, and that our lives are our own. Maybe we will rush out to save the world and start support groups and foundations and little revolutions. Or maybe we will quietly bring our unique perspectives to our jobs and relationships, just like other people bring their differences into every situation they encounter. I don't know that we must do one or the other, or that we are even inclined to.
As unschoolers and homeschoolers, we don't have to fight a battle, we can just be ourselves. We influence the status quo just by existing. We don't have to change the world, we can simply enjoy our own lives.
So I don't know. I can't tell to what extent I'm an idealist. Sometimes I think I'm much more anxious than I could be. Sometimes I think I'm normal in practically every significant way. Or wish I wasn't as normal as I appear to be. Sometimes I'm thrilled by my own differences. I don't think I'm living my ideal yet. I'm certainly trying, but success is a long way off. And if I never reach it, I hope I learn to be more accepting along the way.
If you're interested in how normal homeschooling life can look, you might want to check out this essay, called "Hick Town Unschooled Kid."
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I did have some excellent teachers over the years at the government-run school I attended growing up. However, overall I would not say my schooling was a positive experience. I was very bored academically and miserable socially because I wasn't into the whole drinking/drugs/casual sex scene. I don't want my kids to have to suffer through what I did.
So while I'm so glad your children have had such great teachers, I just wanted to point out that valuable relationships across ages can be forged anywhere--not just in public school.
Oh, and congratulations to your son!
Public schools were the last place where people or different social classes, religions, races had to work together so that we'd have common frames of reference--about what it was to be an American, even if we learned more the ideal than the reality. Maybe the cherry tree story was a lie, but we all knew it and and the value of honesty. Dressing up as or drawing Puritans and Indians eating together reinforced another lesson about kindness even to people who aren't like you--the Indians' role--and showing gratitude for kindness-- the Puritans' role. Reading many of the same stories--Make Way for Ducklings, Charlotte's Web, Caddie Woodlawn, and learning The Star-Spangled Banner and America, using flashcards for multiplication facts, going out for recess, and watching the would-be leaders waste their time and energy on class and school elections gave us common ground for understanding the world and easy comparisons. (I learned then that most voting is against someone, not for their opponent)
What are the common experiences now that lay the groundwork for acting for the common good?
In fact, I would argue that public schools often tend to break down "groundwork for acting for the common good" because it encourages competition between students rather than cooperation, provides a false model of the real world (how can you learn how to act most effectively for the common good in a system that does not exist outside of school walls?), and compacts so many people into such a high-stress environment that just as often as friendships form from the common suffering, so does bullying occur and cliques arise to even further separate students from each other.
As someone who is dedicated to her fellow people, and who has worked toward the "common good" more than most people can say (sadly), I am quite confident that my knowledge of how to bond in community to effect change is not something I learned from the common experience of learning The Star-Spangled Banner, using flashcards, or going out to recess.
I do notice among a lot of homeschool parents, though, that they play by their own rules. Insisting on a certain teacher at extra-curriculars, only coming to extracurriculars when they feel like it, hovering over child during activities when every other parent is in the waiting room or running errands. That does worry me that some learn the rules don't apply to them and that commitment isn't that big a deal.
My dad thinks that parents home school their kids for different reasons, the main ones being either they want their kids to be doing more work (parents have their own interpretations of that) or because they want their kids to learn differently. My dad falls into the differently category.
Read more: http://bit.ly/k2bXGC
I realize it's just anecdotal evidence, and I know public or private school isn't for everyone, but I, personally am not a fan of it as a general practice.
I did some with the school when the teacher asked for help, but I was probably smack in the middle in terms of parental involvement in the classroom. I didn't do anything at all at the school level, other than buy a ticket to the fundraiser. I didn't gather auction items, make baked goods, etc. Likewise, I pay for events with the homeschool group, helped with a small class for 6 kids, and that's kinda it. The really involved parents will be really involved whether they do school or homeschool, but it's still a tiny minority of the parents in either.
One real problem is that the parents willing to home school are also the ones who were willing to help in school as PTA people and room parents. Losing these parents really hurts schools.
When most hear or read the words, homeschooled or unschooled, they automatically assume uneducated. They are obviously not the same. I would argue that any parent who is willing, able, and driven to homeschool their child(ren) would have success with their child(ren) in any setting, even the most challenging public school. Involved parents make a significant difference in learning. Teachers around the country would strongly agree with this.
Yet, this is not practical for most parents or students, even if they wanted it. My sister and I would, in today's vernacular, be called latch-key kids. Our parents worked several jobs. Neither of my parents had anything more than a high school diploma, and neither were particularly excellent students. In fact, my father has dyslexia. My mother was quickly unable to help me with homework. It was beyond her capability. While I love her deeply, she would have made a horrible homeschool mother. Worse yet, they would have lacked the resources to see that I was given opportunities to learn. We were poor, and I have been homeless. All said, it wouldn't have worked for us, and most families would come to similar conclusions.
So, you are not idealists for selecting homeschooling, nor for believing it is a good method. You are idealists in believing it can work for more than a small minority. And, you are an idealist if you don't acknowledge that many of the students currently being homeschooled are getting a less than stellar education.