We're a society that worships perfection - whatever our version. So, who wants to talk about being ill? But the truth is that none of us is perfect and chances are we will get ill. Elizabeth Edwards' cancer diagnosis is a reminder of that. Katie Couric lost her husband to colon cancer, her sister to pancreatic cancer and her father was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. While this isn't fair, the truth is that few people escape unscathed from serious illness in their own lives and the lives of people they love.
So, the question is: Are you ready? Do you know what you'd do if you were diagnosed with cancer or a host of other serious diseases? Would you have the courage to face it? Where would you find a specialist? Would you ask your friends for advice, surf the net, check the National Institute of Health website, or maybe read The New Yorker issue on the best places to go if you're ill? Do you think you'd travel to find the best expert? Would you settle for one opinion? Would you hesitate to offend your doctor by getting a second one? How would you know you'd found the right doctor? Who would you take with you or would you go alone to the appointments? Why? How would you change your life?
Today a friend wrote to me to say she can't visit because her father and mother-in-law are both critically ill. She wrote, "How fast our health can change. Live life for the moment, cuz never know when it is snatched away." And she's right, but while we're living life we ought to prepare for times when it's going to be threatened. That way we have a chance of being as optimistic and courageous as Elizabeth and John Edwards. Courage, after all, is a skill. It needs to be developed. It's not simply there when the crisis hits. It calls for preparation.
So what do you need to think about?
First, are you getting the kinds of screenings you should be getting for your age in order to detect cancer early?
Have you been putting off a physical problem until you have free time?
Is your doctor highly regarded by other doctors - someone they'd send their loved ones to see? Do you know what he or she recommended when you walk out the door or is it a blur?
Do you think of yourself as a health customer or merely a sick person when you visit a doctor? Are you sufficiently assertive, competently communicative? Or should you bring someone along? Why not?
Do you know your family's health history so you can be doubly sure to get checked for illnesses that have limited their lives?
Does your doctor take you seriously? Does he or she truly listen? Is he or she the best in the area? How do you know?
Have you researched the hospital near you? What are its strengths and weaknesses? What would you go there for and where would you go for everything else?
Who in you life would be there for you if you became ill? And, in all honesty, who wouldn't be?
What would you do financially?
What about your self esteem? Could you face serious illness without losing face? How? What's a good back-up career or way of life?
What would you not do well if you became seriously ill? So, what are your options?
Is your pharmacy the best you can go to? Would they catch a medication error? Do you go to one pharmacy to make sure? Do you ask them about interaction effects when you get a new prescription?
If someone you love became seriously ill, what would you do? How would you help? What would be your limitations? And who might help with those?
What are you doing now to stay well? Do you meditate, exercise, relax, enjoy, and stay attuned to your body? Or are you too busy?
Are you the CEO of your health care?
What are you going to do differently tomorrow?
By the way, I agree with Elizabeth and John Edwards' decision. Life throws some sharp curves. How we handle them is an individual thing. But anything can happen tomorrow. Elizabeth is right. This country needs more leaders like John Edwards -- who, yes, care about everyone's health care access. And in high places more impressive people like her.
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P.S. As a couple of responses indicate, we need to get everyone to the point where they can ask these questions about their own responsibility for quality health care. And, let me add, where the doctors we see and medicine we take is not tainted by lobbyist money. No, don't worry, I haven't forgotten these, as you can see in my other blogs. That's another reason why John Edwards is needed in this race -- his considerable thought on this extremely important issue and the empathy he and his wife bring to it.