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Kathleen Reardon

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Election Takeaway: Timing Your Infidelity

Posted: 12/09/11 03:14 PM ET

What lessons in moral behavior for aspiring presidents may we take away from the events of recent campaigns? With Herman Cain's campaign suspension over accusations of extramarital affairs, the candidate who has risen to first place among Republicans is none other than former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich -- a man who left two wives for women with whom he was having affairs -- the second, a House staffer.

Keeping in mind, too, the Clinton mess and the John Edwards we never really knew, four simple lessons emerge for anyone who may think of running for the highest office in our land:

1. Schedule adultery so that it does not occur in close proximity to or during your election campaign.

2. When condition 1 is observed, you may leave your spouse for the other person even early in her/his fight with a life-threatening illness like cancer or multiple sclerosis.

3. Serial indiscretions are fine so long as number 1 above applies.

4. Always appear above criticism about your infidelity. Maintain that your message is more important than past personal behavior, that you have a handle on family values, and don't forget to mention what you and God have worked out.

If recent polls are correct, this is the emerging lesson young people may take from future presidential primaries: Do as you please, lie, hurt people close to you even when they're possibly at death's door. Just don't commit the cardinal campaign transgression of inauspicious timing and you may one day be president.

Kathleen also blogs at Comebacks at Work.

 
 
 

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10:29 PM on 12/11/2011
I guess the proper timing is after you are already President, then you can get oral from an intern in the Oval Office and all will be forgiven.
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Willie Qwit
Willie don't qwit!
02:47 PM on 12/11/2011
Very astute observations. Great article.
01:07 PM on 12/10/2011
Perhaps the real secret is not timing it as you pretend to be the pure puritan enforcers of morality.
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ThatsTheTheWayItIs
religion, ideology, partisanship are delusional
11:16 AM on 12/10/2011
Newt is not President, nor will he ever be. Makes the whole discussion meaningless, but if you must: I would point out Clinton survived Paula Jones to become President. What did that tell us? Nothing.
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mheister
Raconteur. Blog michaelheister.com
08:31 PM on 12/11/2011
Not the same thing.

Paula Jones was offered sex. She apparently passed.

She later claimed Clinton stiffed her in other ways. Those claims didn't quite pan out. She kept getting promotions and couldn't produce a shred of evidence that Clinton or anyone else was carrying out a vendetta against her at work.

Gingrich? Cheated on his first wife, left her while she was ill. Cheated on his second wife, left her when he found out she was likely to get ill.

Clinton's a hound dog, to be sure, but to his credit he saved his marriage. Gingrich? Compared to Clinton, he's a piece of work.
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charleyvldm9
He thinks outside the box.
10:11 AM on 12/10/2011
LYING is the cardinal sin,tell us upfront,put it in your book,dont let us find out first or your goose is cooked.
accelerando
my micro-bio is empty
09:41 AM on 12/10/2011
In the old days, private life was pretty much left alone. Then the religious right made it a big deal. That was before they discovered to their horror that their moon had as big a dark side as anyone elses. Now it's funny to see comments in the media from the fundies in re Newt, for instance, about how Xitanity is all about forgiveness and second chances.
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yellowdoggie
Level 1 Baggerese Translator
10:11 AM on 12/10/2011
Hypocrisy, thy name is Religious Right.
12:25 PM on 12/10/2011
How true, very true.
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Scott Leland
12:01 PM on 12/10/2011
It will be interesting to see if the evangelicals in Iowa (who make-up 60% of the caucus goers) will turn-out to support Newt. He may be the man with all the "Big Ideas" like NAFTA "Free Trade" deal that caused so much of our country's present economic problems that appeal to them. (Corn farmers harvested the greatest benefit from that deal.)
07:58 AM on 12/10/2011
Hey Kathleen, we had a bad 'tude clicking to this page and it went downhill with the Cain/Gingrich ragging. But when we saw equal opportunity mention of Clinton and Edwards and we did a 180.

Great article - you nailed it. With a little practice, we'll soon be just as socially advanced as France.

DSK all the way.
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mheister
Raconteur. Blog michaelheister.com
08:19 PM on 12/11/2011
I looked at your "We Were Wall Street" cookie-cutter website, and I'm guessing you're very, very arch.
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alafonse
It's definitely a crap-shoot.
07:11 AM on 12/10/2011
My personal feelings are that I really don't care if they do it with goats (although the goat might care).
I don't pay the president for his personal life, I pay him (or her) to run my country.
The main issues I have with Newt and old Herman are that they simply aren't presidential material, not by a long shot. Their personal sexual escapades are only a live demonstration of their larger overall incompetence.
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Rita Kothbauer
01:28 AM on 12/10/2011
Too bad all of this is cloaking the real issues, like jobs, education, the environment, energy. Whom is sleeping whom is much more important.
10:37 AM on 12/10/2011
No, what's most important of all is grammar trolling. Surely you mean "Who is sleeping with whom..."
BTW, can I be President now?
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mheister
Raconteur. Blog michaelheister.com
08:25 PM on 12/11/2011
Actually, it goes to character.

Simply saying you're right with God and you've made mistakes doesn't cut it.

Even if you wanted to give Gingrich a bye on leaving her first wife while she was actually physically ill fighting for her life, he did the same thing a second time, except the second time he didn't wait for the woman he was married to to actually get sick. At the first sign of, yikes, I'm going to have to either be a nurse-maid or hire one, he bailed.

The president still has his (or maybe her, some day) finger on the nuclear trigger. A candidate's decisions matter. And Gingrich hasn't held executive positions in government, so the best voters can judge him on is the decisions we have seen him make. How the man treats his wives ain't pretty.
11:18 PM on 12/09/2011
Great point.
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SuzDuJour
As cute as I am funny...hey, wait a second
09:25 PM on 12/09/2011
It's really telling that Cain's poll numbers didn't drop when the harrassment charges were headlines (and, in fact, he gained in monetary contributions), but the poll numbers did drop when a consensual affair was brought out. Apparently it's okay to harrass women who don't want it, but not okay to sleep with women who do. Go figure...
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RichTBikkies
Trainee Basil Fawlty; practising Victor Meldrew
07:17 AM on 12/10/2011
"Go figure". Yes, I've just done that.

The reason was not because the latest and last incident was "consensual", but because too many people started getting the feeling that "there's plenty more women waiting in the wings to make more damaging accusations". We still don't know if these people are wrong. When I say "people", I mean ordinary voters: people who are not paid to boost up Cain.
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kamact
Market Observer
09:11 PM on 12/09/2011
The GOPers are not concerned with integrity or character,...
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yellowdoggie
Level 1 Baggerese Translator
10:15 AM on 12/10/2011
They cannot possibly be if Newtie is leading the polls.
shylove2
warfare state is pathological
08:23 PM on 12/09/2011
The real hurt is caused by thr religious sexual repression that has been forced on society and its laws to restrict personal behavior to illicit secrecy and the right to smear, ruin and scandalize anyone in a form of selective enforcement that can affect anyone not just politicans if there is someone wanting to ruin you or else you have to hide, lie, and be vulnerable such as a governor and a call girl thet doesn't necessarily threaten a marriage particularly not as much s an affair. Or for that matter a Preidentila cndiate who happens to get someone prgnat and also whose life and priorities migth change if their spouse dies of cancer, possibly with there blessing if it isn't made into a scandal. But if you want to get rid of Gingrich there is one sure way, marry him...
07:45 PM on 12/09/2011
Kathleen, We all know Newt's record. Plus the $300K fine and Accepted resignation. And, we all know we have some ''bad'' politicians. That's always going to happen. The Scary part is....People willing to support him and Even suggest He would be a ''Fit'' person to run this country. Talk about ''Lowering the Bar". ? Oh Well,,,,The People deserve whatever Government they end up with---It's Their Vote thar deceides. We'll See.
06:16 AM on 12/10/2011
my exact explanation for Obama.

I have to speak with Molly, my Maltese. She must be on staff since Obama is just awesome at rolling-over.
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RichTBikkies
Trainee Basil Fawlty; practising Victor Meldrew
07:20 AM on 12/10/2011
All his so-called rolling-over is in fact sabotage by the Republicans. They've said, many times, they want him to fail (never mind what happens to the US economy), and we've watched them working at it for the past three years.
07:47 AM on 12/10/2011
A " Leader" who is Unwilling to Compromise is called " A Dictator ". The trick is to Try to get what you know is right, staying within the limits of the laws, and give up as little as possible. When "The other side" becomes unreasonable, no Compromise is possible and the process come to a halt.
07:29 PM on 12/09/2011
oh, and young people,don't forget to have multiple affairs, life is way too short! (Most especially young "conservatives") lol
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mheister
Raconteur. Blog michaelheister.com
08:26 PM on 12/11/2011
And if you do get married, ignore that "in sickness and in health" thing. Only the health part applies.