On 60 Minutes Sunday you may have seen a story about John Boehner, presumptive speaker of the House. He cried a few times, almost losing it once. And yet he's one of the most powerful people in Washington.
While it's interesting that men like George Bush, Mitt Romney, and John Boehner are allowing themselves to cry publicly, behind this seemingly harmless shift in acceptance is one of the ways that the Republicans are managing the narrative. They know that President Obama can't cry, at least not without risk. He is considered a weak compromiser, whereas John Boehner says that he does not like the word compromise. He'll consider "common ground," but that's all.
When you're perceived as weak, crying makes you appear even weaker. When you aren't leading effectively, crying can be that last straw. But if you are developing a persona of toughness, it pays to shed a tear now and then.
Men get to cry with impunity lately, especially those considered tough, stiff, distant, difficult, demanding or dispassionate. The context matters; nowadays in politics talking about old friends, soldiers, children, harm done to one's family, or personal challenges provide opportunities when a tear or two can do more good than harm.
Republican crying is more acceptable than Democratic crying because liberals are expected to be softer - "bleeding hearts." Republicans are perceived as tougher, less sensitive, often more concerned with business priorities. So, crying works well for them. It's the violation of expectations that makes conservative crying persuasive. It's the beauty of not being predictable.
Women, whether in business or politics, are in a more difficult position with regard to any sort of emoting. Since it is expected of them, crying doesn't serve as a balancing technique. It merely confirms that they are soft. Of course, if a woman like Margaret Thatcher were to shed a tear, it would violate expectations and in the right context might serve her well -- once or twice.
Yet the tough Nancy Pelosi won't take that risk. When asked about John Boehner's tendency to cry, Pelosi responded:
You know what? He is known to cry. He cries sometimes when we're having a debate on bills. If I cry, it's about the personal loss of a friend or something like that. But when it comes to politics -- no, I don't cry. I would never think of crying about any loss of an office, because that's always a possibility, and if you're professional, then you deal with it professionally.
You can't blame Pelosi. She remembers what happened to Hillary Clinton.
The Republicans know they have a strategy most Democrats won't use. To put it in communication terms, crying on one side of the aisle but not the other indicates that Democrats are keeping their communication repertoire limited, while the Republicans are broadening theirs.
This is interesting if you're an observer of human nature, much more so if you are an observer of politics. Republicans have learned the value of having it both ways. They realize that showing your soft side in public is an effective way to rebut perceptions that you are heartless. They figure: Who can dislike a man who cries when he sees a child reciting the Pledge of Allegiance?
These Republicans grasp that human complexity can be a strategy. While the president keeps his cool and dispassionately delivers his views, some people are impressed. But it's ironic that the "soft" party is acting tough when they're not, and the "tough" party is acting sensitive.
It's enough to make you cry.
Kathleen also blogs at comebacksatwork. Also at Twitter: @comebackskid
The wrong side (Boehner) is in tears. If you really want a good and well deserved cry, this may bring on a flood of tears of if you care about your country:
1. The wealthiest 2% about to get a big income tax break during deep recession.
2. The wealthiest 1% about to get billions in Estate tax cuts
(see Van Hollen 12/15 op ed Wash. Post for details)
3. Cheap Chinese made tires continuing to flood the US market and our tariff reaction is feeble.
4. American companies who have shifted their jobs to Asia DO NOT have to pay US income taxes. Both the tax revenue and jobs exported to places like China and India.
5. Newly elected congressman are wineing and dining in droves with the K St. lobbyists while planning big earmarks for pet projects and these officials include most of the most vocal anti-earmark champions.
6. It appears that most American’s are against any SPECIFIC proposals designed to reduce the enormous annual deficit.
7. US corporations hoarding trillions of cash while waiting for “demand” to pick up before hiring.
Better have a bushel or so of Kleenex handy.
An emotion is a fact. You are the only one who can tell me if you are sad and I have no way of knowing if you are telling the truth.
By eschewing logic in favor of emption-based legislation, Mr. Boehner and his ilk do our nation a great disservice.
If something upsets him and he needs a good cry, by all means let it out. However, logic and long-term planning would be more useful in running our country.
But you know what? "60 Minutes" and the rest of the media is framing it as a portrait of one of our great lawmakers' unfailing sense of humanity....sheesh. And why would they do that? Because he's the next Speaker, and they want their precious media access to him. So he gets a big wet kiss....and the whole spectacle of his newfound courtship with the media makes me sick.
We all have preferances and many of us agree on what is important but just not the same path to achieve this when we talk about government and its roll. That being said both political parties have been horrendous at the substance of most issues and from where I sit neither is superior to the other.
Here we have the Democrats who controlled the Congress and Senate for 4 years now and with the Bush Tax cuts set to expire at the end of this year and Dems being able to pass just about anything they wanted this was left until the 11th hour like a game of chicken because they wanted to be able to point a finger at the other guy.
Repubs and Dems alike have done this forever and it needs to end. When Clinton worked with the Republican Congress nobody was happy but everybody won so to speak.
No Obama has moved toward the center in order to get some things done.
I would hope both parties move toward the center in the end to get things done even though neither party seems to be so inclined. I'm stll encouraged that we can move forward. I believe Obama can do a better job in the next 2 years than he did the 1st 2 years.
The crying man.
John Boehner cries because the US is a religion to him and he can't believe he made it this far. Frankly, neither can I and sometimes I wish I could cry about a man like him being in power.