Let's hope so. She's impressive. And perhaps by then we'll be ready for a woman president. No one should vote for her, or for Hillary, solely because of gender. But it would be refreshing to hear people admit that there are male-female differences, that we've historically linked leadership with the former, and that people who haven't examined the subtle effects of such leanings on their thinking may indeed act in sexist ways -- even if inadvertently. That way, when Michelle runs for president, we won't be squabbling about this issue. We'll understand that much of how we think about gender we learned explicitly and implicitly from books, on the playground, and by looking around and seeing very few women in leadership positions in major companies and in senior positions in politics.
I remember in high school reading an article mentioning that the books being read by children were written almost entirely by men. I went to the back of the room where all of our reading books were stored and looked for a female author. There weren't any. That was the beginning of my awakening -- one that went on for many years. Not least my senior year when my teacher, Mrs. Smith, told us that Ophelia was a simpering, sensitive, weak and therefore despicable girl and that she would tell us after lunch which student would play her role in our class play. Bets were taken over lunch. It was between the sensitive me and another girl with equally despicable inclinations to write positive essays when we were supposed to be getting truly depressed reading Sartre, Rhyme of The Ancient Mariner, James Joyce, The Crucible and Death of a Salesman.
My friends were on the edge of their seats when we returned from lunch. But I knew who'd win - or lose, depending on how you looked at it. Mrs. Smith stood before us. "It was difficult, very difficult to choose Ophelia," she said. "But after much thinking about who suits the role best, I have chosen Kathleen." The class roared. Money was passed, and there I sat, not surprised and not as hurt as I might have been had this been the first time Mrs. Smith thought me and any "sensitive" girl a Lucie Manette, a "simpering golden thread." Instead, I wondered why sensitivity was such a crime - why anger, angst, depression, darkness and a nut like Hamlet was somehow better. And why Mrs. Smith thought the guy she chose to play him was going to Harvard and I was going nowhere.
I bet we've all had experiences we can point to that tweaked or reshaped our thinking on gender for better or worse. But for women, even today, such experiences occur against a backdrop of negative messages about capability as leaders. Now, before any of you jump down my throat on this, I've studied leadership for a long time. Despite a host of articles in recent years about increasing value placed on supportive "female" traits, the number of women in top leadership roles is not consistent with this common wisdom.
Young women, still in what I call "the cute and little phase" not threatening anyone else's career with their presence can enjoy, for a while, the sense that they will make it to the top based solely on their competencies. They can believe that such competencies will be noticed and rewarded no matter their gender. I remember that phase. It was peaceful. But any woman, including your daughter, if you have one, is unwise to think this phase goes on forever in anything other than predominantly female career choices. And even there, it depends on who is in charge.
So label these observations "sour grapes" if you like. Fortunately, I'm no longer (if I ever was) as sensitive as Ophelia or "a golden thread." You don't become full professor in a leading business school, with none at that level at the time, by being overly sensitive rather than exceptionally observant, no matter your competence or the support of your colleagues. It's tough out there for men, and tough in different ways for women.
That's why all this squabbling over Hillary's eyes welling up -- even though many male leaders have done so and Barack clearly uses emotion to move us -- is becoming a diversion in the election. We have much bigger fish to fry.
We should admit that being a woman is different from being a man and that expectations differ with regard to how we comport ourselves in private and public life. Our problem as a culture: we don't have this sorted out yet. So many of us get quite irked.
But there is a big difference between purposeful insult and accidental offense. We all offend each other now and then. So the response to offense should not be as strong as the response to insult. Chris Matthews is insulting. Jon Stewart even thinks he's insane. Rush Limbaugh is insulting. But most of us are just trying to figure things out, and that includes women.
When Michelle Obama runs for president, let's hope we're farther along, especially in admitting that we do have some gender biases, and in so doing, take the first step in recognizing and managing their impact on the most important decisions in our lives.