THE BLOG

I Found My Voice When I Became a Mom

02/19/2015 01:50 pm ET | Updated Apr 21, 2015
Kathy Radigan

Words have always come easy for me. Legend has it I was speaking full sentences by the time I was 18 months old. At 2, I corrected my grandmother's pronunciation of "Santa Claus."

Words came easy. But finding my voice didn't. And it wasn't something I fully found until I became a mother.

I was a shy, insecure young woman. The dyslexia that made school and life so hard made me an extremely cautious person. I was terrified that if I opened my mouth, people would discover just how stupid I was.

As I made my way through my twenties and early thirties, I became more comfortable with who I was. I learned I was a smart, capable woman. I had value and so did my voice. But speaking up for myself was something I continued to work on. I still had an investment in being liked and seen as the "good girl."

Then, I had my first miscarriage. Then a second, third and fourth loss. All of a sudden, being thought of as the perfect patient couldn't hold a candle to having a healthy baby.

By the time I finally held my newborn son two years after my first miscarriage, the carefully-crafted good girl image that meant so much to me no longer mattered. If I felt something was wrong, I would call my doctor. My fear of looking stupid or bothering the office was overshadowed by something far greater -- the needs of my unborn child.

I read everything I could on pregnancy loss. If a specialist was recommended, I would get on the phone and pepper the doctor or hospital with questions. People responded to me, and I found that my gift of words helped me connect to people and get the information I needed.

As my son got older, I found that this ability came in handy, as it became apparent that his speech was late in developing. I was fearless when it came to getting the help he needed. I was no longer scared to question doctors and others in authority. I now did it without blinking.

What surprised me even more was that people actually listened to me. I found that the doctors, teachers and therapists I was dealing with were very open to my questions and instincts.

They didn't see a scared dyslexic girl. They saw an intelligent, well-read mother who would do anything she needed to get her kids the help they need. And if I ever felt my concerns were not being taking seriously enough, I had no problem letting them know and finding another practice.

I was a mom now and nothing as trivial as my fears of looking dumb would come in the way of my ability to get my children the care they needed.

As it turned out, this skill came in handy because all three of our kids struggle with learning differences. My daughter has very significant special needs.

I have become a vocal advocate for them and have seen all three of my children accomplish things that some said were impossible.

I may have been born with the gift of words, but it took motherhood for me to find my voice.

This piece was previously published on My dishwasher's possessed!