Dear Daughters,
There is something you need to know. You are perfect, whole and complete exactly as you are. Walk tall and stand proud for you are a fighter. You stand firmly on the ground balanced and complete. Your brilliance is a joy to behold and you make me so proud.
Raising daughters these days brings about special challenges. It is interesting that we have a women running for president and a man who objectifies women in the worst possible ways as her opponent. This election cycle is shining a light on what women need to still accomplish in order to come into their power.
I grew up with four brothers. It was clear that they mattered more than the three girls also in the home. The girls were there to help, to clean and even pick up after them. We were there to idolize our bothers and they could do no wrong. They were captains of the football team, dated the cheerleaders and basically could do anything they wanted. I adored them, isn't that what a little sister does? This pattern of putting men on a pedestal has had a lasting effect on my life. As an adult, I went on to be an overachiever, always trying to prove that I was as good as the boys. The energy and vibration that I carried with me attracted men that were players. I continued the pattern of "not being good enough" and desire to please men into my two failed marriages.
As a mindful parenting expert, I like to believe that we no longer favor boys in this culture. That my daughters don't have to be masculine in order to achieve their goals. But clearly there is still work to do. Work that begins in the home with this next generation of girls. We need to begin consciously raising our daughters so that they never grow up being objectified. We need to raise daughters that demand a better world, not because they are verbally asking for it but because they are vibrating an energy that expects it. We need to raise daughters who know that they are loved and who stand firmly in their power. Daughters that are proud to be who they are, that can be feminine and respected at the same time. Here are a few tips on how to do just that!
- Stand in front of a mirror with your daughters even at a very young age. Look in the mirror together and tell her how special she is. Tell her why you love her and point out the things that make her special and unique. I love the way your beautiful hair curls. I love how kind you are to our dog. I love how strong and determined you are. I love that you are my daughter. Not a day goes by that I am not proud of you.
- Write your daughter sticky notes and put them in her backpack, on a bedside table or on a mirror that she passes by. "I am so proud of...""I love the way you..." Be specific and give examples of the qualities an actions that you admire in your child.
- During your bedtime routine tell her a story about some strong women you know. It may be a grandmother, an aunt, a teacher or any woman she can emulate. Tell her a story about a woman in history, music or the arts that you respect. These stories will plant the seeds and give her example of how great she can be.
- Create a morning mantra that you say together several times with passion and enthusiasm. "I am strong!" "I am amazing!" "I am a bright and shining star." "I can be anything I want to be." This takes just a few minutes and sets an intention for a lifetime.
- To all the moms out there, love yourself! Your children model your behavior. Practice looking in the mirror and telling yourself that you are amazing, perfect just the way you are. Write yourself a sticky note about how fabulous you are and put it where everyone can see it. "I am..." Create a mantra that you say to yourself every day. Say it loud and proud with enthusiasm. Teaching your children to honor themselves begins with you. Your daughters can feel the energy and with emulate you.
- For all the dads out there. Treat your daughter with respect. Treat your wives with respect. How you care for, honor, and cherish your wife will show your girls exactly how they should be treated. Tell your daughters how amazing they are, for all that they are and and that they can be anything they want to be. Play ball with them, play games with them, and read books to them. This will let them know that they matter to you and then they will matter to themselves.
- To our daughters, rise up and be the beautiful, talented, incredibly intelligent women that you are. Embrace your gifts and shine your light so brightly that it gives other women permission to do the same.
When our daughters grow up in a world where they are treated as equals, loved exactly as they are, honored, cherished, and respected it will be because of you. Because of your conscious parenting they will carry themselves with a vibration of confidence. Because you took the time to raise daughters in a mindful way letting them know they are just perfect exactly as they are.