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Katie Goodman

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Vote, A**hole

Posted: 05/21/2012 1:20 pm

If I hear one more arrogant liberal on Twitter say they are not going to vote, as an act of protest, I am going to smear blue stamp pad ink on their nose. Really, I mean it. I will fwap them with my registered voter card and hang them by their chads.

First of all, in the context of our 2012 democratic process today, right now, it is not a protest! It is a way to get out of being responsible for having mixed feelings for Obama and the democratic process. And who doesn't?! But grow up! Be an activist! Work to get Senators in office that you love. Hell, RUN for office if you like. But this is just totally insane and dangerous.

See Katie's song "I Drunk-Dialed Obama" on The Huffington Post.


And it genuinely pisses me off if for no other reason than that women and African Americans couldn't vote at one time in the veeeeery recent past. There is absolutely no way you can convince me it is stronger to not vote now.

And just as importantly, it's offensive because I picture citizens of other countries walking for a full day and standing in line for ten hours just to vote. And then holding up that beautiful blue thumb for the international cameras, beaming from ear to ear. They may go home and find their house burned to the ground, or that family members have been beaten or raped or killed because they went out to vote. Theirs is an act of protest. Not voting in our election is, in the context of 2012 America, kinda bullshit.

2012-05-21-engiraqinkfingersBMBayernBaghdad.jpg


I understand the need for vote-abstaining protests (a kind of Lysistrata of voting, only you can, well, still have all the sex you want which could unexpectedly keep the masses happy though, creating a decline in anger-driven activism, so maybe that's not a good plan...) In South Africa, the "No Land! No House! No Vote!" campaign started in 2004 was a strong movement based on the argument that the poor were not represented and therefore a huge outpouring of committed non-voters could get some attention and make a difference.

And even if there was a way to do it in some kind of wonderful guerrilla theater near the polls (perhaps a flash-mob type thing where thousands of people stand there naked, painted red, white and blue with duct tape on their mouths and strategically placed corporate brand label stickers -- yes, a bitch to take off later, but that's commitment, people!), there's no good way to really count how many people Didn't Vote In Protest and how many are just lame-ass, apathetic bums. (Did I just use the word bums? What am I, my grandfather?) So really there is no great statement being made. If you were a Senator and you walked out on a vote, that would be one thing -- people would see it and the vote tallies would say "abstained," etc. But this?

This is like saying, "I don't really want to go on a date with you, but would you bring the dinner home in a doggie bag and drop it off at my house in case there was anything in it I might like? Thanks."

Or, "I don't really like you enough to sleep with you, but I'll check back later and see if you still have a nice ass after a year later and I'll think about it..."

I admit I am partial to the Australia system. Voting is mandatory with a small fine for not voting, but you can still go in and rip it up or draw a large penis on it. Your call. Lovely! Perfect! Wow -- what would be the result of that kind of election in November, I wonder. (Possibly a dick as president, but, I mean, we've had that before, so...)

Look, seriously, this is America. Like it or not, we vote for the best option available -- that's what we do. Because otherwise we end up with the worst.

And let me just say that if Romney does win this thing, you do have to take responsibility for that. Sorry. And then I'm coming to your house to get my equal pay, hospital visitation for my gay friends, my health insurance, some goddamned ice for the polar bears, and my free pap smear. Deal?

 
 
 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Kevyn Jacobs
Shouting 'The Emperor Has No Clothes' since 1968.
02:00 PM on 06/05/2012
VOTE GREEN PARTY
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Kevyn Jacobs
Shouting 'The Emperor Has No Clothes' since 1968.
02:00 PM on 06/05/2012
VOTE GREE PARTY
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Kevyn Jacobs
Shouting 'The Emperor Has No Clothes' since 1968.
01:59 PM on 06/05/2012
Oh, I'll vote all right... for the Green Party candidate.
01:38 PM on 06/05/2012
One of the momisms I remember was my mother's direction that I be careful not to 'cut off your nose to spite your face.' that is exactly what anyone does who thinks not voting is some kind of act of protest.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Crispaccio
The real trouble with reality: no background music
03:03 AM on 05/25/2012
i live in texas. my vote doesn't count. why bother? if the US elections weren't based on an electoral system, but rather a popular vote system, i'd be the first one in line. and i'm sure we'd have great energy policies right now, too, if we were on the popular vote system.
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Tyrant242
ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
11:49 AM on 05/25/2012
This is why states need to adopt a system like Nebraska (my state) and Maine, where the electorals are split based the results of each district.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Crispaccio
The real trouble with reality: no background music
11:10 PM on 05/25/2012
amen! we're desperately trying to make our way to ME. hallelujahz!!!!
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holothuroid
01:32 PM on 05/25/2012
why bother? for one thing, demographics and attitudes do change. there needs to be evidence of that in the form of vote counts to encourage alternative candidates to run in these areas. every vote does count.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Crispaccio
The real trouble with reality: no background music
11:09 PM on 05/25/2012
i respect that point. very true. but i agree with the other poster that splitting the votes would be a greater incentive. i've been voting for the 3rd party candidate at every single election in the hopes that, eventually, they'll get whatever percentage is needed to provide federal funding so we can have a legitimate choice. but honestly, i don't see it happening in my life time .... if it does, it'll be at the waaaaaaaaaaay tail end.
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dcflush
The nickname is about poker, not politics
04:19 PM on 05/24/2012
(continued)

Just to briefly touch on why I think President Obama has done remarkably well.

When he took office we were losing over 700,000 jobs PER MONTH. We lost almost 5 million jobs in the first ten months of his first term. And we have now had 25 consecutive months of jobs growth. Maybe more impressive is that despite intransigence and record-shattering use of the filibuster, he has been able to get us back on track as a nation. We have a long way to go, but we are heading in the right direction.

There are many other accomplishments, far too many to list here. But they are impressive. And while some, or even many, may not have gone as far as some liberals would like, and farther than conservatives would like, he has governed from a pragmatic, rational standpoint to get things done and move us forward.
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dcflush
The nickname is about poker, not politics
04:11 PM on 05/24/2012
While I don't agree with everything President Obama has done, particularly the lack of criminal action against Wall Street, I do believe that considering the situation he inherited he has done a remarkably impressive job.

I need to point out that the right-wing/conservative/to/Republinut behavior the past three years has been reprehensible, deplorable and downright dangerous to the nation. The debt-ceiling fiasco is truly abhorrent and is entirely a made-up crisis for which they almost dragged us over the cliff.

And while their behavior of the past three years is inexcusable, it is made even worse because it is they, the Republican party, whose incompetence and irresponsibility during the 2001 to 2007 period led to many of our problems. Particularly our fiscal problems. While they came into full control with a surplus, they left with the worst deficits in history. While they came into full control with a solid economy, if minor recession, they left having put the US on the edge of the worst recession since the Great Depression.

How the modern Republican party ever gets a single vote, is mind-boggling. And how anyone with even the slightest critical thinking skills would say they won't vote as a protest, at the risk of letting Republicans take control again, is pure idiocy.

Republicans claim government doesn't work, and prove it every time they get elected.

(continued)
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Mister Neutron
The most dangerous and terrifying man in the world
03:41 PM on 05/24/2012
I've always assumed that most of the "liberals" claiming they weren't going to vote "as a protest" were really conservatives who were trying to trick gullible liberals into staying home by spreading apathy.

Really, it's one of the silliest things I can imagine. Even if Obama hasn't lived up to your expectations there are lots of other positions to vote for. Heck, even if there is nobody you'd want to vote for, surely there are people you'd want to vote against by voting for their opponents.
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zackeryrichards
NO Party - just an American
05:07 PM on 05/24/2012
Mister Neutron: Good point. That's about the way the Presidental election
has become . . . . best of the two. We no longer have a "free election
system" in this Country tho. With the "career politicians" there is so much
power & influence that no one can oppose them. The people can not longer
even chose a candadate . . . . the cost is prohibitive. Big Money just
wants a candadate with enough digits on his hand to hold a pen so he can
sign whatever Bills they put before him. [ I think it was Grover Norquist,
Republican who said this].
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Tyrant242
ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
11:51 AM on 05/25/2012
Yep, good ole Grover was on Bill Maher the other week and said out loud that we did not need a leader in the white house. Just someone to rubber stamp their agenda. How anyone can take that little creep seriously is just beyond me.
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tjgg
Intolerance will not be tolerated.
08:37 AM on 05/24/2012
The activist part of me almost wishes that public benefits could be tied to a person's voting record.

Lost your job and want to receive unemployment benefits? Just head down to the employment office and show them proof you voted in the last election. What, you didn't vote? Sorry...vote in the next one and show back up here then.

Your civil rights have been violated and you want to sue? Fine, just provide the court with a copy of your voting record. Otherwise, come back after the next election.

Et cetera.

It's not about WHO people vote for, it's about caring enough TO vote. If you don't care enough about your fellow countrymen to at least register an opinion when you've got the chance....If you are perfectly willing to sit back mute and let everyone else hash it out...then don't expect to reap the benefits (if we have any left). You can't just begin to care when it's YOU who needs help.
tiredofthenonsense
Matthew 25: 34-40
08:47 PM on 05/23/2012
Well said. While I am disappointed with our president, I look at the republican alternatives and shudder. We all should vote. It will be so much worse if the republicans win. If you don't like the choices, work to change the system.
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30Taurus
Now is the time and you are the one.
02:31 PM on 05/23/2012
There are times in history when the solution is not going to be found within the system. I voted for Obama. I hoped he could change the system. I think he made things worse, not better.
You can flail around trying to work inside this system as long as you want. If you think voting for him will give you more of a voice than you would have if you didn't vote for him, that is up to you.
I am completely, utterly through with this form of government. I choose to live outside of the system. I think there is an opportunity to that, still. But, and this is crucial, I think Mr. Obama may be the worst threat to that liberty of any candidate. His record is more against civil liberties than any president we've ever had.
I am way left of D. No way I'd ever vote R. Doesn't mean I think that voting D has to be the right thing to do.
12:29 PM on 05/24/2012
Oh please, how did he make it worse? You want "making things worse"? See the administration of 2000-2008. That's what happens when a President and a Congress and a Supreme Court make things worse.
You're "through with this form of government?" Care to tell me who has a better form of government? Greece? China? North Korea?
Perhaps you just have a problem with Capitalism. Bet you don't have a problem with the things capitalism brings you, however. Perhaps you believe you're "thinking outside the box"? I think you ARE the box and don't realize it.
Government is merely a collection of human beings. You just have a problem with human beings and their unbelievable frailties, fears and greed. SO FAR, our government is the best there is. Do a little traveling around the world and check it out. Read a little history and check it out.
Most of the issues I'm sure you're whining about are actually the fault of Congress, not the President. So vote those bums outta there!
This was a great piece!
Grow up and vote.

p.s. Obama's is the worst record on civil liberties for every President? Now I KNOW you have a lot to learn.
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30Taurus
Now is the time and you are the one.
06:42 PM on 05/24/2012
Let's see.... Better forms of government?  Scandinavian socialism.
Ummmm, Civil liberties?  Rubber stamped the Patriot Act, NDAA, and let's see, oh yeah - exactly how safe is it to be a protestor now that he's been president? 
But the real issue is just that so many people think we're done inventing government.  Like, this is it, this is as good as it gets.  I would dispute with you that ours is the best so far, but that's neither here nor there.
  What I want to know is if you would agree that government can be better than this? 
And if so, does voting for Obama or anyone in the current system speed up the process of making it better? 
Oh please?  I love it.  I hope you didn't sweat writing that!
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Mister Neutron
The most dangerous and terrifying man in the world
03:44 PM on 05/24/2012
Change is incremental. If you're looking for one person to come along and make everything the way you want it you are destined for a lifetime of perpetual dissatisfaction.
Vinkaye
science matters
01:08 PM on 05/23/2012
My question for Ms. Goodman, and all who would berate us, Democrats for not supporting the President, in his bid for a second term. How do you rationalize this President's inaction on Wall Street? Book after book, article after article, whistleblower after whistleblower, all have demonstrated overwhelming evidence that laws have indeed been broken. That criminal activity continues as a normal business model on Wall Street. Yet the President claims "no laws were broken". His DOJ finds no need to prosecute anyone for any potential crimes. In fact, they will not even pursue civil litigation for fear of exposing the evidence of the crimes. His staff has been a revolving door of Wall Street and banking execs, and his financial team was headed by the architects of the destruction of Glass-Stegall. How do you simply set this knowledge aside, and go back to being a champion of the cause for the President? He faced a perfect storm, he did not cause the crisis, but he came into office at a time when the nation was desperate for leadership on this crisis. He completely failed us all in this regard. The ramifications of this failing are so great for the American people. I have to ask, in order to raise the pom-poms, must you simply ignore all the evidence of wrongdoing? You simply choose to believe that the passage of Lily Ledbetter is more vital to our children's future than regulating and ending the crimes of Wall Street?
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tjgg
Intolerance will not be tolerated.
08:26 AM on 05/24/2012
You DO understand that "none of the above" is not one of our options for President of the US, right? So, while I empathize with your frustration, a non-vote for one candidate is effectively a vote for the opposing candidate. There is, at this time, no viable third-party option. If you actually care about the direction of our country, as you seem to, you have to pick a side. "Not choosing" is STILL A CHOICE. Please understand that. So, if you truly believe that Romney would be MORE satisfactory in dealing with the problems you mention, by all means, stay home on election day. Because right now, you only have two viable candidates to choose from, and while you might find neither to be ideal, you'll have to live with the outcome. Withholding support for Obama because you don't like everything he's done is effectively a vote for Romney - because you can bet that all the riled-up conservatives will be out in full force.
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Mister Neutron
The most dangerous and terrifying man in the world
04:01 PM on 05/24/2012
When I vote I don't pick the perfect candidate because there never is one. Instead, I pick the candidate who does the best job of representing my beliefs. If they represent some of my beliefs but not others then I prioritize. In the end there is always one that is better than the others.
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jonredbird
To Twwweet to Eat, so Fly Away.
12:05 PM on 05/25/2012
Excellent point MN, Bravo Zulu for the post. It provides the wisdom, that others need to follow and use for future use. Have a good day, and weekend. JR
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02:21 AM on 05/23/2012
". . .there's no good way to really count how many people Didn't Vote In Protest and how many are just lame-ass, apathetic bums."

Excellent, excellent.

And your best line (and I may need to steal this--giving full credit of course), "Like it or not, we vote for the best option available -- that's what we do. Because otherwise we end up with the worst."

This piece should be on the front page.
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psychophil
Don't listen to me.
05:05 PM on 05/22/2012
This is true for swing states. If you're in one of the 35-40 already-decided states, go ahead and vote for donald duck.
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02:21 AM on 05/23/2012
I need to quickly move to a swing state till after the election.
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dcflush
The nickname is about poker, not politics
03:40 PM on 05/24/2012
Except that it's not just about the Presidency. It's also about the House and Senate. It's also about state and local elected office. I doubt that all of those are fully decided in your district or state or county.

The President is the most obvious and likely the most important for many reasons, Supreme Court not the least of those reasons. But it is not the only reason to vote.
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AAHewetson
Intelligence is just fine with me
12:44 PM on 05/22/2012
Agreed.

As much as President Obama has disappointed the progressive wing to the democrat party - what little is left of it - most of this has been completely out of his control.

I will vote for Obama, hoping that his status as a second term President will free him up a bit and hoping (probably hopelessly hoping) that the legislative bodies will abandon their policy of strict obstruction, because the alternative is ... FAR WORSE.
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phal4875
The world is run by cats; we just feed them.
05:26 PM on 05/22/2012
Fanned. I believe a second term will provide Obama with a little more leeway.
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02:22 AM on 05/23/2012
Especially if we regain the House. But we really, really have to vote for that to happen!