11/03/2008 12:46 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

I Saw the Sign: How I Was Born Again Against Gay Marriage and for Proposition 8

Before you vote on Proposition 8, you need to read this. I used to be like you--for Gay marriage. And I thought that the proposition, which aims to overturn the supreme court ruling which recognized gay marriage, was dumb, distracting, and, obvi, discriminating, disenfranchising, homophobic, embarrassing for the country etc.

But that was before I saw the sign, and--to quote the Ace of Base anthem--it opened up my eyes. (Ace of Base is just soooo right on sometimes.) The sign was more physical than most epiphanies. It was literally a sign--a sign being held at an anti-gay marriage rally. And it said "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steven."*

I immediately began to question myself, what I knew and what I thought I knew.

1) The first thing I questioned was why nobody had suggested taking the "n" of of the "Steven," rendering it "Steve." It's not that the motto "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steven" isn't catchy and powerful. But wouldn't a rhyming "God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" sign be even more effective?

2) So my next question was towards myself: Had I been making uneducated assumptions about homophobia. I had always assumed that homophobia was a fairly straight forward phenomenon. The final "N" showed me that homophobia was much more textured and mutlifaceted than I had wanted to admit. There is your run of the mill dumb homophobia, whose members would have, for example, redone the sign or at least crossed out the N. And then there's really, really dumb homophobia, in which obvious poetry rules are ignored or, more likely, missed.

3) Then I wondered if I was, once again, underestimating homophobia. Was the N not mistake, but part of a deliberate poetic plan in which exact rhyme was eschewed and Emily Dikensonian near rhyme was embraced? Was this idiocy? Or the emergence of a homophobic experimental poetry sub culture?

4) Who was the dumb one now? That would be me. For making an ass out of u m e and homophobia.

So if you want to vote yes on artistic expression and yes on the renaissance of homophobic poetry, which has been called** "homo-phoetry," and no on civil rights, you'll vote Yes on Proposition 8!

You'll also want to make sure you vote for McCain-Palin, especially since Palin announced desire to amend the constitution and ban gay marriage. (In all fairness, the Governess is not that familiar with the Constitution, so she may not know what this all means.) Palin explains that she is "not going to be out there judging individuals, sitting in a seat of judgment telling what they can and can't do, should and should not do." She'll just non judgementally criminalize their way of life.

*I swear I saw this sign. I didn't have any camera on me, but this is for real. I mean, it would be a really bizarre thing and not quite over the top enough to make up.

** by "has been called" I mean "has been called by the author."