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Katie Halper

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Top 10 Greatest Moments of the Iowa GOP Debate

Posted: 12/11/11 04:08 PM ET

1. Michele Bachmann reveals her mother was a very resourceful lesbian who found a girlfriend right after her divorce: "My folks got divorced and my mom found herself a single mom with four kids."

2. Rick Perry concentrates and squints as he tries to understand what Mitt Romney is saying, as if he'll be able to look through Romney's skull and see his ideas if he looks hard enough.

3. In what she hopes to be a historic moment, Michele Bachmann patents her "Newt [five-second pause] Romney" term. If Romney and Gingrich could indeed create a hybrid baby, I assume it would be a fickle, orange Michelin Man with a severe side part.

4. Perry suggests he's in a polyamorous relationship with his wife and God: "I didn't make an oath just to my wife... I made an oath to God when I married my wife."

5. The typically over-the-top praise of Israel suggests the debate was co-sponsored not by Yahoo! but by Netanyahu.

6. Michele Bachmann's statement that she won't rest until Obamacare is repealed explains a lot about her presentation.

7. Mitt Romney appears to have a herpes sore.

8. Rick Perry manages to get through an entire debate without falling asleep, acting like he's on laughing gas, making up names, or forgetting his own campaign ideas.

9. Romney tries to look more down to earth by betting Rick Perry $10,000 instead of $10 million, his usual go-to wager.

10. Michele Bachmann comes out as a Christian: "I am a Christian, and I am unashamed and unapologetic about that." It's unclear where she finds the courage to speak openly about being a Christian, as she stands with five other Christians, as they compete to become the 45th Christian President.

 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
satanlite
If ur neibor wtchs Fox Nws wtch ur neibor
04:16 PM on 12/12/2011
They are all sickening and represent the worst this country has ever had to offer anyone, anywhere, for anything except ballast.
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phal4875
The world is run by cats; we just feed them.
04:30 PM on 12/12/2011
Fanned. I am not sure, though, that any one of them is a ballast. I think all come from families where the parents had married.
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disporting
Weapons not food, not homes, not shoes
03:50 PM on 12/12/2011
It would be funny if it wasn't so sad.
03:26 PM on 12/12/2011
The Republican debates this cycle have proven to be as funny as scary. No wonder Republicans are asking themselves if this is the best they can do. At least during the last presidential election cycle the Democrats presented, to the nation, credible candidates for their consideration.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Willie Qwit
Willie don't qwit!
02:46 PM on 12/12/2011
Katie Halper, a really great article! Loved it.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Solurius
12:10 PM on 12/12/2011
You simply missed the gaff of the night. Michelle Bachmann stating that she's 55 years old and has spent 50 years in the private sector creating jobs. This, of course, is exclusionary of her time in the House taking them away.
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phal4875
The world is run by cats; we just feed them.
04:31 PM on 12/12/2011
Give her credit for improvement. Last debate she claimed 60 years of job creation.
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demisfine
Often correct, NEVER right.
11:28 AM on 12/12/2011
Please - Make it stop.
11:58 AM on 12/12/2011
But it is so addicting, just watching these clowns fall all over themselves to show who the real "conservative" is. Some humor in a season where a lot of folks are having a hard time of it.
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demisfine
Often correct, NEVER right.
12:06 PM on 12/12/2011
It gives me agita.
10:44 AM on 12/12/2011
Rick Perry is my pick to click. He has all the right qualifications to be President. He knows how to blow bubbles with beef jerky, He thought that Taco Bell was a Telephone Company.
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phal4875
The world is run by cats; we just feed them.
04:36 PM on 12/12/2011
Fanned; very funny! I believe you are joking, but you might be correct.
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ChaCubed
Republicans: the Antichrist
10:06 AM on 12/12/2011
:-))
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Rita Kothbauer
01:23 AM on 12/12/2011
None of these clowns belong anywhere near governing our country. How did it come to this?
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demisfine
Often correct, NEVER right.
11:31 AM on 12/12/2011
The SCOTUS gave power to multinational corporations to buy influence over our once emulated free and fair elections.
Now the candidate and his/her qualifications no longer matter. Just whether or not they can be bought and expected to protect corporate interests.
The middle class is the collateral damage.
11:34 AM on 12/12/2011
It started with Nixon and went downhill from there. Obama may be intelligent, but he has followed the lead of all Nixon successors-Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, & Bush, in transferring as much money from the poor to the wealthy as possible.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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12:03 AM on 12/12/2011
I couldn't watch the debate, on purpose, they make me so sick. But sounds like more of the clown comedy. Will the gop ever get serious about actually governing? No. The only government they like is their own jobs in the gov.
05:39 PM on 12/11/2011
Doesn't #4 break at leat commandments 1,2,7 and 10?
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demisfine
Often correct, NEVER right.
11:39 AM on 12/12/2011
Andrew, commandments are for all the OTHER people.
Just ask Newt.