Do you ever have the feeling that something is just not right with your relationship with food and your body?
Do you see other people, who seem to just eat a cheeseburger without stress and think, I would never, ever be able to do that?
But at the same time, so often we can think: well, this is just the way I am. I guess I'm going to have to live with it.
And of course, that's perfectly fine. If you are happy, there's no need to change anything in how you approach eating and your weight.
But in my work as a coach for women who feel like they are always frustrated with their eating, there's a few common things that I see in clients, and I know that that they really don't need to feel this way.
It really is possible to be around food at a restaurant, on vacation, at a party, and not be afraid that you'll over-indulge and spiral out of control. It's possible to keep any food you like in your house and not have to worry about not fitting into your pants anymore.
But the first step is to recognize what's happening. So here are seven signs that you might need a food tune up:
1. You weigh yourself one or more times a week (or one or more times a day)...and it makes you feel terrible.
You know that feeling. That tightening in your heart when you step on the scale and it's not exactly (or anywhere close to) what you want it to be - whether that's 20 pounds or 2 pounds over your "ideal" weight. And there are those dizzying thoughts that seem to accompany it, as you freak out and beat yourself up and are so obsessed with it that it can ruin your whole day.
2. Going out to dinner -- even to a restaurant you love -- makes you super nervous.
Ever check the restaurant menu to make sure that you can pick the most reasonable option so you don't overindulge in the moment? Or tried to micromanage your calories for the day or week before, so you'll have enough "saved up" to have a meal that you'll actually enjoy?
3. Your mind goes blank once you start eating.
You might have come in with the best of intentions, but once you sit down to eat, all bets are off. Who knows how much you'll eat? You seem to have no ability to stop when you're full, or to make sure that the food you're eating actually makes your body feel good.
4. You spend WAY too much time thinking about weight loss.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight (or acting on it!), but for you, thinking/worrying/dreaming of losing 5 or 50 pounds is making you feel crazy. You are a smart person with a lot going on - you don't want to spend so much of your freakin' brain space thinking about this one silly thing so much.
5. There are 3 or more foods that you are afraid to have in your house.
You're generally a pretty confident person, but you feel completely powerless against a jar of peanut butter or a box of sugar cereal. You wish it wasn't true, but the only way for you to feel "safe" is to keep it far, far away from your home.
6. You never come back from a vacation without an enormous amount of guilt, and an intense feeling of "fluffiness."
Look, there are times when everyone over-indulges, but you just really struggle with finding a way of eating that's not super restrictive, or carbs-gone-wild on vacation. It seems impossible to have a few days with pina coladas around and not end up feeling a little gross.
7. You are tired of all of this.
The dieting. The gaining the weight back. The only eating "special" diet foods. The eating everything in sight (often in private, where no one can see you). Feeling like it takes so much freakin' effort not to be fat. Reading every magazine article on "Lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks" or "How Carrie Underwood lost the baby weight," hoping that somehow, magically, it's something that you haven't tried, that would be perfect.
You are tired.
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And whether one or all seven of the items on this list resonated, I want to say: you don't have to feel this way.
You really, really, really don't. It is genuinely possible to eat food to nourish yourself, without having to feel guilty or like you can't trust yourself around a chocolate chip muffin.
Here are a few ways to get started:
1. Keep a non-judgemental food journal, so you can figure out what are your patterns or triggers. Oh, I keep eating when I'm running between meetings. I guess I'm actually just stressed and overwhelmed.
2. Work on communicating better when you feel pressured to eat in social situations. Sometimes we eat simply because the people around us really, really want us to finish that brownie.
3. Move your body in a really moderate (not intense!) way. We often use exercise as a way to punish ourselves: I have to work out to burn off that extra muffin I ate today. But when exercise is gentle, and its only goal is to make us feel good, it can reduce the need to eat because we're stressed.
4. Choose to stop eating when you are satisfied, rather than continuing because you're afraid you won't get a chance to eat this delicious food later. We can obsess about how many calories we eat, but the truth is that many of us eat more than we truly want in a given meal. If we just pay attention to our fullness, and stop when we are full, we can eliminate a lot of other guilt.
I hope these ideas helped, and I'd love to hear from you in the comments; which of the items on the list described you? And what would you like to do to feel better?
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Are you used to "having it together" in your life, but your eating + weight is the little piece that's not going right? Check out Katie's free "What's Your Eating Style" ebook -- a beautiful, 22-page ebook that lets you identify your eating archetype, and offers detailed, personalized practices to try TODAY.
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If you're struggling with an eating disorder, call the National Eating Disorder Association hotline at 1-800-931-2237.