I'm guessing you've experienced a man you like do one of these things...
Stall when asking you outAnd after he did that, you thought: "Well, actions speak louder than words, so he must not be that into me"
I hear women use this line not only for themselves, but then they tell other single friends the same thing: "Judge him by his actions, not his words."
If I had used this as a "rule," I definitely wouldn't be in a relationship that SUPPORTS me on every level I desire. My husband's actions were definitely not always what I wanted.
This rule creates the impression that everyone is clear on their intentions and is doing EXACTLY what they want -- 100% of the time.
We are human and have a ton of mixed emotions around EVERYTHING.
Haven't you ever acted in a way that was misinterpreted?
Let me give you an example:
Have you ever made dinner plans with a friend, but then you have to stay at work late because of a fire you have to put out?
Imagine your friend thinking, "Oh well. I guess she just doesn't want to be friends with me."
If that happened, wouldn't you want to shake your friend and say, "That's the furthest thing from the truth!"
So imagine placing all of this into a bowl and mixing it up:
Past love experiences, pressure from family and friends to be married, feeling lonely, hurt, rejection, feeling like you aren't confident enough, not wanting to seem too needy, etc.
That's your brain. Often, that is why you're so confused about what you want with a man.
The only way to know if a guy is interested, wants to be in a relationship with you, is in love with you, wants to get back together, or simply wants a second date is to...
Using the rule "actions speak louder than words" has you assuming a lot of things. Know that you can't read his mind, and he can't read yours. So ask, ask, ask. It will bring you clarity, closure, and a sense of knowing what he is thinking and feeling.
So, next time you hear something like "actions speak louder than words" ask yourself if that saying is stopping you from asking for clarity and closure.
This week's Lovework is to tell me below in the comments if you've ever said, "Actions speak louder than words". How did it help? Or not? I would love to hear.
Support HuffPost
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.
Whether you come to HuffPost for updates on the 2024 presidential race, hard-hitting investigations into critical issues facing our country today, or trending stories that make you laugh, we appreciate you. The truth is, news costs money to produce, and we are proud that we have never put our stories behind an expensive paywall.
Would you join us to help keep our stories free for all? Your contribution of as little as $2 will go a long way.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you’ll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.