We sat down at Café Nell, securing three seats in the back booth, my favorite. We furiously caught up to date on each other's adventures. Julie was fairly quiet and content to allow us to talk on top of each other in excitement, since she was privy to each of our edited up stories on a continuum. It had been a year's time since Jeffrey sat across the table from me. His animated, mature, devastatingly handsome face flashed me back to the first time I met those distinct features. He was nine months old and sticky, wearing one of those peculiar fleece pajama one-piece zip all the way up suits, in powder blue. He was protesting the plate before him, in earnest. He still didn't like eggs or frankly anything that wasn't a chicken nugget, white rice or vanilla ice cream, when it came time to consume anything that took a good chew. Anyway, back to 9 month old Jeffrey, who was expected to eat the now cooled in the standoff scoop of jiggley stinky eggs. He wailed. He tossed the plate on the floor. They called him a picky eater. He intrigued me. This inherited by marriage nephew.
Hey mister, You are smoking, says this now five years old at the time nephew of mine. He was tossed in my care for the afternoon and we walked the dog to a local Café for chicken nuggets and ice cream. We made dates, usually lunch and the movies, fairly frequently. Excuse me (louder), Aunt Kay He is Smoking (really loud). Unhinged that the Smoker didn't respond nor cease to toke. YOU are Smoking! The Marlborough Man smiled and turned to my little firecracker charge, and said, Yes I am. WHY? Smoking is bad for you. Maybe he stopped smoking that day. Decided the whipper snapper kid was right and it was time to lay down the matches and cigs for god damn good.
Jeff still says it like it is. Well, Is, according to him. And he is clear about what he likes. He is confident bordering on cocky and authentically charming. He just arrived back from South East Asia. He proudly announced he spent less than $30 a day for 30 days for a spectacular time. He collected a few of the puzzle pieces of his new elevated self somewhere between Thailand and Ubud. That happened to me, too, there. The collecting pieces of myself part. That just may have had a little to do with a charming Aussie surf instructor that eased me into the big waves. Both my nephew and I electing to venture outside our comfort zones in SE Asia, and then making the time to share our growth stories was such a delightful way to enjoy our eggcetera meal even more.
I will have the Huevos please, both my easy to please and cook for niece and my picky eater nephew, request for Nell brunch. Eggs? What happened, eggs are his kryptonite. Never to be touched, smelled, consumed. He took a vow as a child to never ever eat the likes of scrambled, poached or deviled delights from the hen house. Well, he explains, my friend's mom made a plate of scrambled eggs for me recently, and I needed protein for a big day up ahead and I didn't want to appear rude or picky, so I ate them. And I liked them. And so it goes. In one moment, a quarter century of egg block vanished like a magician's bunny.
I have something better than the egg epiphany, Jeffrey shares. It still stings, but I learned a lot by it. I got called out. By the Love of my life. He doesn't say this widely. He means it. I was being a dick and she showed me the mirror and error of my ways. I was unabashedly mean to my sister. She witnessed my potential for cruel. And my Girl knew, just knew one day that would be her, on the other end of that now contained mean. So she left me. Julie, nodding in agreement next to him. Jeff, is my best friend, and yes he can also be so mean, she says between bites.
In a dark time, the eye begins to see. Theodore Roethke is so spot on with this declaration. We have to adjust the dark of us once we are made aware, to see where to find the light of us, I think out loud with my brunch team. Especially when something or someone we really really want lets us go because of that dark. We are offered this chance after a hurt especially, to alter our make up that will then make our lives even more glorious. But we must open our eyes to the crap we have to dispose of and make a lasting change. Aren't we all here to learn?
I had to change, he shares. I know this will be a challenge with whomever I love next, too. I want to change that part of me. I can not pretend that that isn't part of me. Denial can only go so far. I don't like that part of me. I don't want to be a dick. I am working on it. Julie nods again.
Making behavioral or perspective shift can happen that quickly. A relationship call out. A plate of eggs bestowed that would be awkward to feed to the plant. In an instant. I am so grateful to have been reminded of this remarkable truth. Out of the mouths of babes wisdom is bestowed. With his new humbled broken now healing heart and appreciation for eggs, I am so filled with wonder on where this dear nephew of mine will go with his great new potential. It takes a lot of bold and brialliance to truly change.
What most would you like to change in you? Have you had an egg type resistance keep you from trying something new? How will this awareness of desire to change and grow along with your new behavior choices, change your life?