It's 4:00 a.m. and I'm about to leave the house to catch a plane to San Francisco for work. My husband and I have been trying for several months to get pregnant, so I decide to take a pregnancy test before I leave. Much to my surprise, it's positive. I am elated but my husband is fast asleep. What does one do? I want to tell you that I hopped on that plane without so much as a peep and devised some amazing way to share this wonderful news. But I am not that kind of woman (sorry, honey). I leaned over the bed, said goodbye and then whispered, "I'm pregnant." Yep, I really did that -- queue sad trombone music here.
That was in December. Fast forward to now, about 34 weeks later, I am still very much pregnant. During the course of this pregnancy (my second), I have tried my best to follow the "rules."
As I carefully limit my caffeine intake and avoid deli meat, my mother shares that she nearly lived on Pepsi during her second pregnancy and doesn't recall dietary rules of any sort. I've also had many choices regarding how much I want to know about my pregnancy and future child, while my mother had virtually none. She occasionally wonders out loud if the choices I've had are just creating undue worry.
Let me explain -- after my first OB appointment I went home with a several page document outlining the types of screening and diagnostic tests available to me. Professionally I am a genetic counselor and acutely aware of everything outlined in the brochures. The choices ranged from carrier screening for inherited genetic diseases, to first trimester screening, a quad screen or non-invasive prenatal screening for chromosomal conditions, such as Down syndrome, and of course, the level II ultrasound. Finally, should I wish to have a definitive answer, I could also choose between chorionic villus sampling (CVS) or amniocentesis. I'm not going to detail every test available, as there are several excellent resources already out there (here, here and here). Rather, I will simply say that things have most certainly changed over the years. Personally, I believe in having as much information as possible, so as far as I'm concerned, things have changed for the better.
And thanks to the screening I chose to do, I know quite a bit about my baby: he's a boy, he's unlikely to have certain chromosome problems, like Down syndrome, and he's also unlikely to have certain other genetic conditions like cystic fibrosis or one of nearly 100 other recessive genetic diseases. I understand that the screens I underwent do not provide any guarantees, nor do they screen for everything, but I was happy to at least get a glimpse into the health of my pregnancy. I fell short of seeking out diagnostic testing that would have provided more definitive information because I simply couldn't stomach the risk of miscarriage associated with an invasive procedure, even though I know the risk is very low.
Was I anxious while I waited for my results? Sure. Do I sometimes wonder about that damn echogenic intracardiac focus (a "soft sign" of a possible chromosome problem) found on the ultrasound? Of course. Did the screening I pursued cause undue worry? Absolutely not. I am comforted by the information I have and thankful for the choices available - both in screening and diagnostic testing and in what to do with the results. The truth is that to be a parent is to worry (that's why my mother is worrying about undue worry, right?). But it also means to learn to live in the moment and realize that some of life's greatest pleasures simply can't be planned for.