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Keli Goff

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Does a Bad Baby Name Make Someone a Bad Parent?

Posted: 12/07/10 08:49 AM ET

If telling someone their baby is not cute is one of the world's most unforgivable (and punch-worthy) crimes, then telling someone they gave their kid a bad name may be a close second.

And yet there are times when, whether we want to admit it or not, both harsh realities are true. While one certainly can't be helped (goodness knows my genes are to blame for the visual horror that was my junior high years) one can. And yet year after year there are those who seem to be tempting the world to question their fitness as parents right out of the gate by naming their child something most of us would be too embarrassed to name a pet -- for fear of what the other dogs at the dog park might think.

I've been thinking about this a lot since BabyCenter released its annual list of the most popular baby names for the year. In addition to what's being called "The Sarah Palin Effect" in which the names of Palin's daughters Bristol, Willow and Piper, have seen a significant increase in popularity, there has also been an increase in names with a financial connotation: Bentley, Fortune and Cashton for instance. As in "I have a Fortune and I spent it on a Bentley."

If a picture is worth a thousand words, one could say that the name someone gives their kids is worth a million -- telling you a lot about that person's values and priorities. For instance, it was noted that in addition to Bentley reflecting the financial aspirations of a lot of younger Americans, it is also the name of a child featured on MTV's Teen Mom. (Because who wouldn't want to pick up parenting tips from a show called Teen Mom?)

When it comes to the Olympics of wacky kid names celebrities have more medals than most. There's actor Jason Lee who famously named his son Pilot Inspektor and actress Shannyn Sossamon who named her son Audio Science. (Click here for a list of some of the wackiest celebrity baby names.)

Picking on parents for giving their kids questionable names may sound like a laughing matter but the name someone has to go through life with is really serious business. Consider a 2003 study by MIT that found that job applicants with so-called black sounding names, like Tamika, were statistically less likely than applicants with so-called white sounding names, like Emily, to receive job interviews despite identical, and in some cases superior, resumes.

Despite the fact that plenty of the so-called "black" names used in the MIT study actually have significant historical and cultural relevance (among them Aisha, a name that appears prominently in the Quran), the study does raise the question of whether or not a parent has the responsibility to put the future opportunities of his/her child ahead of his/her own political or cultural identity.

There have been a number of high profile custody cases in which the name of a child has become an issue. In 2008 court officers in New Zealand briefly took guardianship of a nine-year-old girl who sought legal recourse after being teased incessantly for her birth name. The name in question: Talula does the Hula from Hawaii. In his ruling the judge in the case chided her parents, as well as others like them who intentionally saddle their children with wacky names. Among some of the other names he cited: "Fish and Chips" and "Violence."

A New Jersey couple also found themselves fighting to maintain their custody rights after family members and neighbors raised red flags about their fitness and judgment as guardians, which included among other things, naming one child Adolf Hitler. The case made the news after a local grocery store refused to decorate the child's birthday cake with his given name.

Obviously I don't think that anyone should have to ask the government's permission before naming a child. But just as it would be nice if every person that procreates were to actually become a loving, attentive parent it would be nice if every parent named their child in a manner that leaves every possible door of opportunity open for that child, not closes any outright. And a name like Adolf Hitler may be a tough sell on a presidential campaign sign thirty years from now.

Then again, who ever would have thought we'd have a president named Barack Obama? (Although it's worth noting that his name comes from his father, not from his parents' creative imagination or attempts to make a statement.)

But I still think a President named "Fortune" or God help us Snookie or Kardashian, is a long shot.

This post originally appeared on TheLoop21.com for which Goff is a Contributing Editor.

www.keligoff.com


 
 
 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Miriam Breslauer
02:51 PM on 12/13/2010
I don't like the demonization of parents that use names from their culture. Employers SHOULDN'T be discriminating against someone because their name doesn't read "white".

From the article above, Talula is a Hawaiian name, how could it possibly be a "bad" name?

I have made fun of acquaintences that have given their children odd names from verbs in the Bible. Not names in the Bible, VERBS! The least horrible of their names was Arise. I have always felt bad for kids who have been named Charity, Chastity, Harmony, and other "virtues". It is like you are taunting the kid to misbehave their entire life to live down thier horrible name.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
RainDance33
Kia Kaha
08:44 PM on 12/13/2010
I don't think the problem was with the name Talula, but rather with the fact her name was actually "Talula does the Hula from Hawaii" quite a mouthful for anyone I would have thought.
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SolarPowerGuy
Ph.D., Immunology; Solar power @ home; Green Party
11:11 PM on 12/12/2010
I generally agree with your thesis, don't give your children names that will cause people to think twice about them.

That being said, Dweezil and Moon Zappa both turned out pretty cool.
10:00 PM on 12/12/2010
Gee i guess "Eddie" isn't so bad after all..but i do call myself, ED.
been2there
Facts have a liberal bias.
08:09 PM on 12/12/2010
I had an unbelievably bad baby name, and what made my parents bad parents was not the name, but their refusal to listen to my misery as I was harassed and taunted, and their blaming me for the problems.
Yeah, I changed it.
07:57 PM on 12/12/2010
Does a bad baby name make someone a bad parent? YES. And it is a gift that keeps on giving.
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Tinki - bot
Be excellent to each other!
07:12 PM on 12/12/2010
I think taking a 'normal' name and giving it a ewe-neek spelling make-over is another worthy addition to the 'what were they thinking' category.

Working in recruitment, here are few of my resume favourites over the years: *ah ha ha hem*

Kahmren (pronounced 'Cameron')
Meehshell ('Michelle)
Khayte ('Kate')

.. you get the idea
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Roseberry
The neutrinos ate my homework.
06:54 PM on 12/12/2010
A woman named her daughter L-a, and it was so on the birth certificate. On the little girl's first day of school, there was trouble.
"Teacher calls me La," said the little girl to her mom. "She won't let me spell my name right unless we change it! I try to tell her..."
Long story short, the mother confronted the teacher. She grabbed and pen and wrote: L-a "This is how to spell her name," she said.
"Why is there a hyphen in there anyway?" said the teacher.
"It's a DASH, it's a DASH!" the mom said. "Her name is Ladasha!"
martman1
retired business owner
06:42 PM on 12/12/2010
I'm surprised the name "Spot" never caught on.

Sincerely,
Spot
06:08 PM on 12/12/2010
How about parents who purposely named their chidren Germany and London?
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11:22 PM on 12/12/2010
Are either worse than Brooklyn, which is the 30th most popular girls name?
01:20 PM on 12/21/2010
Hey, my grandmother had a dog named "London" whenever I was a kid. ;) That's different though......lol
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Kitten of D00M
06:05 PM on 12/12/2010
Let's not forget Bob Geldof's kids: Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa (yes, 6 names for one child), Little Pixie, and Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily.
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french queen13
my beloved is mine and I am his
06:36 PM on 01/22/2011
Yes, those names make me cringe. Bad enough when they're little kids, but when they're forty-somethings, how silly will they sound?
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PRONESE
Somewhat Opinionated Curmudgeon
05:47 PM on 12/12/2010
The Zappa's named their children Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen.
They all seem to be doing well...
R/ PRONESE
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
lawgrrl
Repubs need a "time-out" until they can behave.
10:20 PM on 12/12/2010
Their dad had money, they didn't need to get jobs in the real world . . .
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PRONESE
Somewhat Opinionated Curmudgeon
07:14 AM on 12/13/2010
Dweezil Zappa, Grammy Award Winner.
Link: http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/news/video_news/dweezil_zappa_dedicates_grammy_award_to_his_late_father_frank.html
More Coffee...
R/ PRONESE
04:45 PM on 12/12/2010
If you'll remember the end of that song, the recipient of the "bad name"; although he may have developed "character" as you say; said he would never do the same thing to his child.
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notadumbblonde
Strong and independent
12:26 PM on 01/08/2011
A Boy Named Sue.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
cydRN
04:24 PM on 12/12/2010
I'm a post-partum nurse in a very large urban hospital. You simply wouldn't believe the names our babies go home with. I try to picture them as adults running a Fortune 500 company with these ridiculous monikers and it makes me cringe for them. My top favorites: Sh*thead (shitheeed), Gonorayah, Sifilus, Femaley (yes, it was a girl), and the ever popular Neveah (which is supposed to be Heaven spelled backwards.. I know..). I saved one young lad from the name Yuran when I explained that in English, it sounded like "urine". But lots of our babies go home with stripper names, and I imagine that their ACTUAL stripper name will have to be something like "Kim". A name is a terrible thing to waste.
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01:00 PM on 12/13/2010
Up until your post, the worst name I've heard of was, and I'm not kidding, "Midol".
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Rik Little
experienced American artist
03:19 PM on 12/12/2010
Actually he was in the room dressed in National Organization of Woman drag outfit. And I don't want him to influence my child with their so called values.
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03:18 PM on 12/12/2010
The boy's names for 2010 are beyond awful. Aiden at No. 1? Really?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
lawgrrl
Repubs need a "time-out" until they can behave.
10:21 PM on 12/12/2010
lol