Everything was supposed to be different this election. After all, a quick glance at the lineup on the GOP side -- Rudy Giuliani, John McCain, not to mention Ron Paul, made it pretty clear that this was certainly not a bench full of Adonis types. (Although Mitt Romney and his Ken doll looks and matching family did seem straight out of central casting. Unfortunately his election year makeover into a real Republican made John Kerry's flip-flopping look like child's play). Months ago I was sitting in a greenroom preparing to do an interview when a GOP strategist lamented about the sad state of John McCain's campaign. Not only had he been reduced to carrying his own luggage -- serving as his own one-man-band-advance team -- he had allegedly arrived late at an important event because his transportation had broken down and he had to find his own way there without the ubiquitous team of handlers, a luxury his tattered campaign could not afford.
Meanwhile the Democrats for once had an all-star lineup. Or so it seemed.
So how did it all come to this, with Democrats preparing to battle all the way to the convention, and to ultimately grant the GOP another four years in 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Below, a look at the top 10 people and moments that are helping the Democrats return to the glory days of loserdom:
10. Howard Dean. You've heard the saying "the fish rots from the head." Well the head of the Democratic National Committee is Howard Dean. From his inability to reign in state leaders when setting the primary calendar, to his inability to effectively moderate and resolve the Florida, Michigan mess, Dean has proven himself to be a likable leader but not necessarily a strong one. Just as a parent has to know that sometimes you spoil and other times you spank, it doesn't appear that Dean has mastered the good cop/bad cop routine. As a result the kids have taken over.
9. The South Carolina Debate. Have you ever been at dinner with a couple that seemed perfectly normal until a slight disagreement erupts into an all out verbal slugfest in which they start airing each other's dirty laundry? Like about the time one of them cheated on the other while they were both in grad school? Well watching this debate was almost as uncomfortable. From Wal-Mart to Rezko it was as though the Democrats were determined to give the GOP opposition-research team as much helpful info. as possible. Mission accomplished! And the tone of the campaign? Well it's all been downhill since then.
8. Saturday Night Live. Let me start by saying that I am a fan of "Saturday Night Live." It's funny. That's because it's this thing called a comedy. Comedies are meant to make people laugh not to serve as an instruction manual for how to run a presidential election. But for some reason some members of the media (and certain campaigns) have decided to reference SNL as if it were a journalism class taught by the ghost of Edward R. Murrow. While we may be laughing with them (and they continue to laugh all the way to the bank) there is no doubt that the SNL crew has helped reshape the coverage of the campaign (72 straight hours of Rev. Wright coverage anyone? After all we wouldn't want that Obama to have it too easy) and thereby they have reshaped the narrative of this campaign as well.
7. Bittergate. There's a lot of blame to go around for this one. You can question the motives of alleged Obama supporter Mayhill Fowler for recording the comments in the first place. You can question what Obama -- Mr. Oratory -- was thinking for putting the remarks together so clumsily. You can also question the Clinton camp's efforts to capitalize on a comment that while un-P.C. -- was essentially true. When I first heard the remarks I was immediately reminded of a scene from the TV show I'll Fly Away, which was set in the South in the 1960s. A poor white teen from the "wrong side of the tracks," told his wealthier white friend that his skin color remained the one thing that allowed him to maintain some measure of status in society, regardless of what side of the tracks he lived on. As a result, he was not exactly psyched about civil rights. Yes we've come a long way since those days, but for a few, that reality holds some truth. The sad thing about "bittergate" is that we were all so busy trying to assess the political fallout that we didn't really tackle much of the substance behind the remarks.
6. Marc Penn. Marc Penn. Marc Penn. This one is pretty self-explanatory but please allow me a couple of quick thoughts. Hillary actually has (gasp!) a personality. One that smiles and laughs, and yes, occasionally cries. But with svengali Penn at the strategic helm of her campaign who would have known it? His extreme focus on numbers (and getting himself on TV) seemed to suck what early life there was in her frontrunner campaign, out of it. Is it a coincidence that since throwing him overboard the S.S. Hillary seems to be running a lot more smoothly?
5. The Edwards Campaign, R.I.P. 1/30/08. After years of reminding us to never forget the nation's working poor, John Edwards became the butt of countless late night jokes, all because of one ill-advised, overpriced haircut. But guess who's having the last laugh now. Watching Obama bowl and Hillary drink beer in Pennsylvania, one couldn't help note the irony that after Democrats kicked the one true, good ol' boy candidate to the curb, they then decided that the good 'ol boy vote was the most prized possession of the election. And the economy -- particularly its impact on the working class -- is not just an important issue this election but the deciding issue. Looks like the son of a millworker was on to something when he spoke of those "Two Americas."
4. Rev. Jeremiah Wright. So much to say, and yet I am hesitant to give this guy any more ink than he's already gotten. Yes the media fed into to his story (myself included). Yes the media is partially to blame. But there's a saying: Just because someone gives you the gun doesn't mean you have to pull the trigger. Rev. Wright just doesn't know when to put away the ammo.
3. Bill Clinton. Having been raised as a child in the cult of Clinton (one parent is a full-fledged fanatic) it was a bit of shock to see the laid-back Bubba (aka first-black president) that I remember watching as a kid blow his sax on The Arsenio Hall Show, replaced by some grumpy guy who runs around making un-P.C. analogies between black candidates who don't really have much in common. As the most brilliant political mind of the last century (or at least one of them) he knows that the ongoing bloodbath between his wife and Obama is ripping the Democratic Party apart, and possibly his legacy as well. But overcome by his lifelong overachiever streak he's been rendered helpless by his desire to win, and his yearning to give us all the presidency that he thinks Ken Starr shortchanged us on last time. Honestly, can you blame him?
2. Florida and Michigan. It's hard to believe that the states responsible for bringing so much joy in the forms of Motown and Mickey Mouse could also be responsible for such a reign of terror. The "will they or won't they" be seated at the convention question has turned older, faster than any of the "will they or won't they" romantic entanglements on a long-running sitcom (think Ross and Rachel on Friends or William and Joan on Girlfriends.) We get it. It's the not the fault of the citizens of these states that their knuckleheaded elected officials put them in this position by ignoring the DNC's mandate. Here's a suggestion. How about an old-fashioned game of rock, paper, scissors to decide this mess? Or maybe Howard Dean can make everyone draw straws? Anything to just put us all out of our misery already. I know this much. When this election is finally over the last place I'm going is Disney World.
1. Superdelegates. Raise your hand if you actually knew what a superdelegate was 18 months ago. Now raise your hand if you now wish that you had never heard of them and that they didn't exist. Regardless of how this primary ultimately turns out the reality is that what started out as a minor party battle could have been prevented from turning into an all out war were it not for this cadre of super-wussies. Operating as some sort of political Opus Dei, they are ready, willing and able to serve if their party needs them -- needs them to overturn the will of the people that is. Democrats always get defensive when they are labeled as know-it-all elitists. So to disprove this stereotype they have helpfully put together a team of hundreds of party "insiders" who will correct the nominating process should the idiotic masses get it wrong. There's nothing like watching a bunch of political types pick a presidential candidate based on their own personal career ambitions to restore one's faith in democracy.
Let the kamikaze campaign continue. Onward and downward!
P.S. I'm sure I missed a few so please feel free to post your own nominees for the list in the comments section.
Follow Keli Goff on Twitter: www.twitter.com/keligoff
Personally, I find the US primary system (especially "open" primaries) to be strange and unsupportable. Superdelegates are just a small measure to allow the Democratic party to function a tiny bit more like a European party, and that's fine with me. After all, party insiders know the candidates better and have the best interests of the party, to which they've devoted their lives, at heart. Would that the same could be said of all our candidates (yes, you, Mrs. Clinton).
My point is that Obama has been toughened up and ready to do battle. Something that wouldn't have been true if this contest was a cakewalk.
And you are right about SNL. Charlie Rose laughed at Ed Rendell when he referred to SNL as part of his pro Hillary argument. The whole thing seemed so surreal.
And what does it say about the MSM when they can be easily swayed and manipulated by an SNL skit.
Smarminess is a poor substitute for a cohesive argument. Writing smugly about Democratic "loserdom" without taking a rigorous look at the problems the Democratic party faces is frankly quite useless (unless your goal is to project the usual media member bullshit "insiderdom").
What forces have motivated Democrats to field weak candidates in the previous election cycles? What are the factors that make "Bittergate" and Rev Wright such an immense problem for Barack Obama? There are a whole bunch of questions coming out of this specific election cycle that call for insight - not irony.
But in line with your feckless list why don't we add the Media - more interested in hearing their own voices and seeing their own words than making a positive impact on society.
As for the rest, I agree with other posters hereabouts that you and other hand-wringers need to take a deep breath and relax, for God's sake.
The November generall election will pit the deeply-flawed John McCain against a thoroughly-tested and skillful Barack Obama. There is no chance in my mind that our next president will be anyone other than Obama.
Democrats seem always to view the glass as half empty and Republicans as half full. It is time to change the psychology and attitudes of progressives, because this election could be as transformational for our precious country -- in a very good way -- as the election of Franklin Roosevelt was in 1932.
Hellary, Hellary, Hellary, Hellary. She just won't drop out.
As examples: 1 - McCain, when he stopped using his regular flight arrangements, used his wife's company's jet! He flew, essentially, his own friggin' jet!! (Yet, his 'myth' has it he was down to begging for economy class seats on regular flights - twaddle!) 2 - Mickey Mouse and Disney was not brought to us by Florida. It started in California.
Details DO matter.