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Kelley Harrell

Kelley Harrell

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Facebook: A Spiritual Experience?

Posted: 02/11/11 09:20 AM ET

Given the relative number of times I've encountered the observation, "She never spoke to me in school, why does she think I want to be friends on Facebook?" the karmic threads of Facebook and its effect on the collective conscious are compelling. Apparently a culture-wide blast-from-the-past sentiment, that question has been crooned, so to speak, into song. At the end of last year it was reported that 20 percent of divorce cases cited Facebook as a catalyst in the relationship's demise, another factor spoofed in a Net-famous skit [1]. It's fair to say that Facebook has catapulted digital interpersonal relationships to a new high, or low, as the case may be, but why? And how can it be a tool for spiritual growth?

In the year and a half that I've been on Facebook, several people have remarked that the utility unexpectedly reopened old wounds, and in some cases, caused new ones. Presented as a simple Internet networking tool that does all the work for you, Facebook is and has been the hottest social media networking strategy to date. The Internet, in and of itself, has done an amazing job of creating the world as a neighborhood pub; uniting old friends, passionate crocheters, Dolphins fans, and sellers with bidders. Some modern sages argue that the Internet is a digital manifestation of the collective conscious, a vessel we all contribute to, a result of our cultural foci and intellectual and spiritual development. As on no other networking site, users swarm to friend each other through Facebook, due to its suggestive relational viral connectivity via alma maters, places of employment, geographies, cousins. Unsuspecting users enter personal landmarks and interests, frequently not realizing that unless secure privacy is enabled, that information is used to match them with every other compatible user and to suggest them as possible friends. Adding one person you knew when is a singular connection spiraling out, not just to every person you know, but to every person that person knows, and so on. It is possible to be deluged with friend requests in mere hours, even with partial security enabled. The volume of the past surging into the present overwhelms those who aren't ready, and it would seem, a lot of users aren't.

Certainly I've known many people who reconnected fabulously with old friends. I count myself fortunate to have found people on Facebook that years of Internet searching didn't deliver. However, for many, the wonder years aspect of Facebook is a reminder of a horrible time. The sticking point doesn't seem to be that it merely reopens old wounds or brings up painful memories. Slogging through old hurts is one thing, but Facebook elicits a communal shadow reaction that many don't foresee. A hyper-distilled family reunion, digital social display leaves many users feeling forced to confront old demons, not just face the demon, but do so with the demon's posse looking on. Also, where many have enjoyed the anonymity of a raucous Internet social life, for Facebook to work as intended, you have to be honest in the personal data you feed it. To that end, some have pioneered into lifestyles and experiences that are upsetting to those still at the old stomping grounds, or to employers or potential clients. And then there's the base embarrassment in friending Aunt Bee, who's scanned your adorable fifth grade yearbook picture for the world to see...

Who sees what of you is one thing. What you see of others is another. The foremost insight Facebook gives into others is through status updates. Some use this blurb as an opportunity to keep others abreast of their morning coffee selection, what film they saw, or how they feel about sitting on the front porch. Some users are decidedly candid, sharing intensely personal insights. All of these are perfectly fine, though I often wonder if people considered that every status update they enter alters the collective consciousness of the planet, if they would say something more authentic? Because it does. If more people observed such, perhaps their updates would convey their soul's words, rather than their ego's. No contention, mind you. I like to know if my savvy friends think a film sucks, or they posted some gem about our healthcare system. But if the Internet is a manifestation of the collective conscious, and Facebook is its most prolific platform, could we improve how we thrive here if we chose to make social networking a more spiritual experience?

The thing about Facebook is that for it to be a social networking success, it demands radical honesty, as does spiritual growth. Indeed, that honesty can be selectively doled, based on privacy settings, interests entered, and the choice not to friend. Even in that closed scenario, I've known people whose pasts were still skillfully unearthed from the bowels of Facebook by some haunt, throwing them into a moment of panic. I think it is in that moment that the real life of Facebook thrives, not in the choice to friend or ignore, the celebrity who friends you, or the smackdown you give your old boyfriend. Certainly those things can be empowering and bring closure to karmic patterns. I think the real power of Facebook is that it's a cutting edge, worldwide awareness, within which the Universe holds up a mirror, as we all know it does from time to time, making sure we really do know where we stand on the trials, paths and joys of our lives. We can look into the bytes of our past and make an empowered choice based on the free will of our soulful present.

[1] Facebook Is Increasingly Cited in Divorce Cases

 

Follow Kelley Harrell on Twitter: www.twitter.com/SKelleyH

Given the relative number of times I've encountered the observation, "She never spoke to me in school, why does she think I want to be friends on Facebook?" the karmic threads of Facebook and its effe...
Given the relative number of times I've encountered the observation, "She never spoke to me in school, why does she think I want to be friends on Facebook?" the karmic threads of Facebook and its effe...
 
 
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Wes Isley
Writer and interfaith minister
10:08 AM on 02/22/2011
Hi Kelley--wonderfully written! You describe so well the tricky situations in which Facebook users can find themselves. About a year ago, that happened to me. A lot of folks from my past were showing up and discovering that little ol' Wes had actually changed over the last 20 years. Naturally, some didn't like that and felt it was their responsibility to set me "straight," so to speak. At first, it just irritated me, but then I realized that this irritation could be used as an opportunity for growth. And so when the questions continued, I decided to be honest instead of ignore them. Polite, yes, but honest. (I don't go in for public spats on Facebook!) The Universe was indeed holding up a mirror, and it was time to face that reflection and make a choice. So, the fallout has settled and I'm still here--and, oddly, I'm still "friends" with some of these folks. Wounds have healed, patterns have been broken and energy has been redirected. It's like a fresh start. And all due to Facebook.
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Kelley Harrell
Neoshaman; author of 'Gift of the Dreamtime'
10:47 AM on 02/22/2011
Thanks for sharing this, Wes. Indeed, lessons in compassion are in everything we do. Thanks for the reminder.
01:58 AM on 02/16/2011
Amazing article.
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Kelley Harrell
Neoshaman; author of 'Gift of the Dreamtime'
09:41 AM on 02/17/2011
Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Dream well!
11:59 AM on 02/14/2011
hi kelly-- we're on another site together... i just joined and I like-- I've been connected to writers I left behind in Minnesota years ago, no idea that they were all on FB together-- and they welcomed and friended me, a true shot in the arm. I lost my mobility a few years ago and the thing I must watch myself for most is the tendency to unplug and isolate. I look forward to my morning coffee and a daily dose of FB. Great piece. xxJenne'
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Kelley Harrell
Neoshaman; author of 'Gift of the Dreamtime'
03:57 PM on 02/14/2011
Good to see you, Jenne! Thanks for your comment. I hope all is well with you!
09:40 AM on 02/14/2011
I believe that we have enough control over our lives and our FaceBook activities that we don't need to worry about this. Reminders of old wounds can be catalysts for healing. And if it's all too much, you can always leave FaceBook. I know a couple of people who just aren't using it and others who have no interest in joining it. We don't need to give an internet app power over us.
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Debbi Mihelic
Subject to change with no notice
10:04 AM on 02/12/2011
Isn't Facebook just the lastest internet site to be blamed for the bad things, and praised for the good things? Remember when everything was MySpace? Remember when Craigslist wasn't (so) embarrassing to mention?
Somewhere, someone is working on something that will take over for Facebook, and they too will get the blame and praise.
Interesting article though.
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Kelley Harrell
Neoshaman; author of 'Gift of the Dreamtime'
10:20 AM on 02/12/2011
Indeed, All Things become a different manifestation of themselves. What do you think will be the next big thing?
Thanks for your thoughts and hope all is well!
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thereisnotomorrow
05:39 AM on 02/12/2011
Kelley, ever since I experienced my 'miraculous' self-healing (10 years of severe chronic back pain now gone) I've become sensitive to every thought, word and action. When my facebook sharing used to be 'normal' now is filled with only positive messages, transcendental conversations, and empowering mantras. Whenever someone shares pain, disappointment, anger, sadness, etc, I usually chip in, hoping to steer someone into a beneficial path were happiness is the karmic reward. Since I've done this, I find my FB time much more rewarding and fulfilling, and more and more I find people who are like-minded, aware of our true nature which is unlimited, and who are ready to foster a more loving environment. Slowly but surely, I'm seeing hate-fests and pity-sessions shrink! Other times I use FB to find people who are in need of healing and offer to teach them about natural healing for free- just tonight I helped someone with a pinched sciatic nerve realize he doesn't need the chiropractor or drugs or almost daily massage. It's been a great tool for spreading healing and spiritual revolution. Thank you for writing this article. Our awareness and sharing makes us stronger! :D Much love to you.
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Kelley Harrell
Neoshaman; author of 'Gift of the Dreamtime'
10:19 AM on 02/12/2011
Thanks for your thoughts! Times are changing, and it's great to be part of it.
I hope you are well!
01:36 AM on 02/13/2011
I would like to know how you healed your back - my father has had bad back pain for as long as I can remember. Thanks!
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thereisnotomorrow
10:19 PM on 02/15/2011
http://www.facebook.com/dragonsecreto send me a message!
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
09:05 PM on 02/11/2011
Neoshaman how cute, but come on. Some things are better left in the past. And it is not inevitable that facebook will destroy privacy on the Internet. I don't want pure in-your-face honesty all the time. I just don't wanna know.
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schaeboy
Created by God as a gay man.
02:03 PM on 02/11/2011
I started a group called the Gratitude Club about 6 months ago. The idea is just to post 5 things per day that we are grateful for. Reading these posts day in and day out gives one enormous insight into the beautiful souls of the participants. I count several of the regulars as true friends, though we have not met yet. It has been a lovely experience. I also find the posts of people like Marianne WIlliamson and Louise Hay to be profund and truly enhance my spiritual journey.

What you call for here is already happening.
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Kelley Harrell
Neoshaman; author of 'Gift of the Dreamtime'
10:55 PM on 02/11/2011
That's great to hear! Thanks for your note!
12:16 PM on 02/11/2011
I use Facebook a lot of promotional purposes so I have a lot of friends. I've thought about making another account to just include close people where I wouldn't have to worry about venting about work and stuff like that.

It's a great tool for engaging people though.
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Drmhp
10:10 PM on 02/11/2011
You should create a fan page instead for your promotions. The fans don't have to be facebook friends. I would then unfriend everyone you don't personally know. You are leaving yourself vulnerable to identity theft.
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crossoverwriter
10:15 AM on 02/11/2011
Great post! Personally, I go to facebook more and more to laugh at the hilarious threads my people write
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Kelley Harrell
Neoshaman; author of 'Gift of the Dreamtime'
10:54 PM on 02/11/2011
Thanks for your thoughts!