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I am penning this lovely post from the tropical paradise of Bali, Indonesia where my husband and I have been house sitting for the last five months. We live a location-independent lifestyle and have been traveling the world for over four years now.
If some omniscient being had told me several years ago that this would be my life, I would have been like... um, sure.
At that time, life was nothing special. It was a disaster actually. Grieving my father's death. Sick to my stomach with worry about my mom. Oodles of debt. Minimal income...at times no income. Things seemed bleak, and depression and anxiety were constant companions.
My personal development work had been spotty at best, and my misery really kicked things up a notch. I knew things had to change. There was a part of me that believed things could change, and that's all you need to start.
And clearly things worked out. My life was quite the mess and now it is the exact one I wanted to live.
And now for your reading pleasure, my five top tips to make your life stop sucking courtesy of someone who has made the journey from Craptown to Awesomeville:
1. Dare to Dream
Give yourself permission to create all sorts of awesomeness in your life. Allow yourself to want something better. Realize you are worthy and deserving of whatever you feel inspired to want.
Really think about what you want. And I mean what you really, truly want in that little heart of yours, not what you think is possible based on what your life has been like up until this point.
What is now has no bearing on what is possible for the future. I decided I wanted this life when there was absolutely NOTHING in my current experience that would suggest it was even remotely possible.
So write out that list without modification, questioning or judgment. Don't worry if you can't possibly see how you would get there from where you are now. That will reveal itself in time.
2. Feel the Pain
I credit my father's death with being the catalyst for this major transformation. We have so much mental yuck we need to clear out to truly change our lives, and we tend to avoid it because it's painful. But grief will pull you down into that pit and break everything wide open. I didn't run from it. I stuck around, and oh the clarity and insights that came.
Let yourself feel all the pain, anger, resentment and frustration. Admit how miserable you are. Admit what you don't like about your life. Cry. Scream. Punch a pillow. Whatever works for you. Let it all out. Anger brings clarity. Anger, while it may not feel great, is a step up from feeling depressed or hopeless. It will spur you into action.
It may feel a bit scary and super uncomfortable, but once you start to release all that energy, you make room for all sorts of awesomeness to come into your experience. It's like starting with a clean slate.
3. Take Responsibility
Taking responsibility for your life is not the same as blaming yourself for all your screw-ups. It is about honestly assessing the role your thoughts, choices, behaviors and beliefs played in shaping your experience, and vowing to create something different moving forward by being more deliberate.
I got into a lot of financial hot water and I couldn't blame a bad economy or my father's death. I made some bad choices. My life was a big old mess because I wasn't making any effort to make it better. I was sitting around feeling sorry for myself most of the time, and that didn't do me any favors. Once I started taking responsibility, things started to turn around quite quickly.
4. Just Focus on the Next Step
One of the biggest barriers to making dramatic change in our life is our inability to see how we will get from where we are now to where we want to be. It just seems so far a journey, and that feels discouraging, to say the least.
Here's the thing though...you can't figure it all out. You can't know the million different ways what you want can come together. You have no idea what people you will meet, what opportunities will be presented to you, what ideas and inspirations will strike.
We are impatient and want everything to change immediately but that probably won't happen. Just focus on the next step.
What is one thing you can do right now to start moving closer to where you want to be? What is your intuition telling you? What actions feel good? What can you do now to create more of the feelings you are after? Know that no matter what you want, you are after a feeling.
5. Go Within
The most important thing I have learned in my little journey is that our world is truly created from the inside out. Our thoughts, feelings and beliefs determine the experiences that are delivered to us.
When we make those inner shifts towards more empowering beliefs, thoughts and feelings that are in harmony with what we want our life to be, all sorts of things will begin to show up that will support us in realizing our goals.
This means you don't have to worry so much about 'doing' anything drastic to start feeling better. If you feel like you can't immediately make certain changes, it's all good. Don't get discouraged. You don't have to completely remove everything you don't like in your experience in order to start feeling better.
Start thinking more about what you want your life to be like and flow some nice positive energy toward that. Do some visualizing, use affirmations...whatever tools work for you. Be willing to look for the good in your life now and cultivate some genuine appreciation for it. Doing this allows more things to appreciate to make their way in.
You can do this. Now go start being the awesome powerful creator you are.
Are you currently going through a rough patch? Any tips to offer that are helping you?
If you would like to read more of my work, head on over to my blog at Life Made to Order