This Is Your President on Drugs

In a recent column titled "Soft Shoe in Hard Times," byline Washington DC, Maureen Dowd observed, "Everyone here is flummoxed about why the president is in such a fine mood... Boy George crashed the family station wagon into the globe and now the global economy." Yet he seems "goofily happy."

I have a hypothesis.

This is your president on drugs.

I first became suspicious after the famed pretzel incident. When Bush showed up in front of the cameras with the nasty scrape on his face, which he attributed to choking on a pretzel and falling off the couch while watching a ball game, there was wide speculation he'd started drinking again. At the time (pre-911), his ratings were in the dumps and Enron was crawling up his neck. Maybe the pressure was just too much for this known rage-aholic with an attention span of 15 minutes.

I soon noticed a distinct change in his voice and timbre. His speech had a flatline quality, a compression of peaks and valleys. His temper seemed tempered. He slurred a lot of words. His voice rasped with the gravelly sound of a permanent hangover.

I became convinced the president was on Prozac.

At lunch with a doctor friend last summer, for no particular reason I mentioned all this. He leaned in quizzically and looked me deep in the eye. He'd recently been chatting with a doctor friend of his who had been involved with Bush's European trip, and who wondered aloud about a strange practice he witnessed. Throughout the trip, the Secret Service bagged all the president's poop and pee.

Why would they do that, except to avoid drug testing?

The situation is more serious than it may sound. Jim Cramer, the MSNBC financial pundit and former hedge fund manager, was in the game during the 1999 bubble. He acknowledged that he and a whole lot of Wall Street traders were playing the market through anti-depressant lenses. Here's what he wrote about the irrational exuberance ramping up to the crash:

"Prozac and all those other drugs banish the 'This is the end of the world' thoughts. Which means you are not as anxious as you should be about an obvious downside."

Think about it. A willfully blue-sky president already disinclined to think about the downside, jacked up on antidepressants that banish the downside. Scratch those pesky "This is the end of the world" thoughts.

We need to demand the poop on the president.

Kenny Ausubel, Founder and CEO, Bioneers.

Comments

[fpie]

Well he must be zoned on somthing to make him that stupid. The man can't string a five word sentence togeather without stammering, mumbling and just plain making no sense.
The talk show host, Lional (I think that's how he spells it) has put forth a reasonable argument that the guy is suffering from alchoholic dementia. Of course if that's the case it still doesn't preclude some kind of dope on top of it. Gosh knows I have certainly known lots of people who stumble through their days in a drug induced fog. Some of 'em seem to manage to be rather successful while doing it too.

[cynara]

"Throughout the trip, the Secret Service bagged all the President's poop and pee."

First thought, "eck", from an imagery standpoint, from a logistics standpoint and any other way you look at it. Second though, if the president was on prozac, it might start to explain things. It would explain alot about the actions and mindset of our president.

What I get even less than the mindset of our president (which I've explained to myself is simply a delusional idiot, therefore acts like one), is the mindset of the cult like following of women around him. Harriet Miers, Karen Hughes, Laura Bush, Condoleeza Rice, Donna Perino - they are all crazy about this guy - willing to follow him and support him to the ends of the earth. Its just weird - what the heck is the attraction? He's not intelligent, I've yet to see him be even remotely witty or interesting, he seems too self absorbed to dedicate his life to anyone of them (even Laura), yet, like some turn of the century Mormon family, they dote on him, they defend him, they seem to truly think that he is an amazing intelligent leader. Something that no one else, even his own vice president, can seem to remotely relate to.

All the women described above are considered bright, accomplished women, why attach themselves to this hero-worshiping harem dedicated to elevating an idiot?

I'd really like to get inside their head. Again I ask - whats so special about the guy?

[HansUnfeit]

He has an aura about him that is breathtaking to these gals. Plus, I guess he's viewed as inordinately handsome for a president (Lincoln, anyone?)

[Fez]

it appears to me that George W. Bush does not need any drugs or alcohol to behave as a sociopathic murderer, coward, and bully. He has done it all by his lonesome. Check out the many accounts of his pathological childhood (and mother)... blowing up frogs, branding frat pledges with a hot iron... the list goes on and on. For those of us who are "normal" it would appear that you have to be under the influence of drugs to behave as criminally as Bush has over his lifetime. But some people are just plain evil and Bush is one of them. No special pleading is required to diagnose Bush... he's a miserable excuse for a human being and the truth does not pass his lips even by accident.