Being an entrepreneur means putting yourself out there -- and unfortunately, that means some people are going to try to drag you down.
Researcher and legendary TED-talker Brené Brown really sums it up: "If you're going to show up and be seen... you will get your ass kicked." This is doubly true in the digital age, where everyone with an opinion and an internet connection can state exactly what they think of you (and then some) behind the cloak of anonymity.
So how does an entrepreneur avoid curling up in the fetal position and crying his or herself to sleep every night? How can you stay out there even when the critics come flocking? For starters, try putting the following principles to work.
1. Consider the source
If a lifelong mentor or a successful entrepreneur in a relevant field offers up some constructive criticism, take it in -- it's a valuable opportunity for reflection and improvement. But if the anonymous, unemployed internet commenter is trolling because he has nothing better to do (and probably never will), learn to let it slide. Entrepreneur and author Ramit Sethi suggests approaching each critic with this question: "Is this person where I want to be?" If not, their input likely doesn't mean anything to your own goals. So move on.
2. Focus on what you can control
Entrepreneur Marie Forleo suggests that fellow entrepreneurs stop wasting time hoping for critics to go away. It sucks, but doubters and haters are drawn to anyone who's trying to do something different or make it big on their own terms. Wishing away criticism (or being surprised every time it rolls in) is a waste of energy. Instead, accept that criticism is part of the game, and keep your focus where it needs to be -- on developing your entrepreneurial skillset and on providing customers with exceptional experiences.
3. Examine your own behavior
Psychologically speaking, we tend to project our own attitudes onto other people. Rebecca Fraser-Thrill, a lecturer at Bates College and founder of Working Self, points out that the people who most dread being criticized are often the quickest to judge other people. When criticism is dragging you down, evaluate whether you're contributing to the problem by being a judgmental person. The less concerned you are with criticizing other people, the less of an impact criticism will have on you in general.
4. Get comfortable with vulnerability
It can be tempting to put up walls as a means of coping with criticism. But as Brené Brown says, shutting down means closing off your own capacity for creativity, innovation, connection, and growth--all of which are critical in the entrepreneurial world. And when we're primed for negative reactions, that tends to be all we can see (which means we might miss out on constructive input). Hate to say it, but making your work a priority means staying open to all kinds of feedback, even when it hurts.
5. Clarify your own metrics of success
As Ramit Sethi points out, critics love to come up with "gotcha"-style questions designed to make you feel bad about yourself. But this only works if you agree to play by their rules. For example, let's say somebody claims the fact that you never finished an undergrad degree as evidence that you're not qualified to run a business. In reality, that critique isn't actually relevant--what matters is whether sales are up this quarter, or the company's email list is growing, or whatever metric you've defined as important to the company's growth. Clarify your values and make those the company's sole benchmarks for progress. Then pathetic attempts at dragging you down will seem like just that.
One last tip? Remember to take care of yourself. Proper nutrition, exercise, and quality sleep will keep you in a healthy headspace, which makes it much easier to brush off the critics. And remember that all of this takes practice. Criticism does sting, but luckily, coping is a learned skill. Make these practices a habit and you'll gradually learn how to focus on the work in front of you and not on the armchair pundits yelling from the sidelines.