By contributing writer Elizabeth Berg. Originally published in KidSpirit Magazine's Change & Loss issue.
It is always hard when people die. No matter what the situation, it seems impossible to deal with the fact that someone you were close to will no longer be around. Although there is no one way to get over this, people have developed ways to make it easier. This process is called mourning. Almost every religion or culture has its own traditions involving mourning. In fact, mourning dates back thousands of years. Archaeologists have found artifacts that suggest that early hominids had their own rituals and burials when a member of the community died. These early humans were found buried alongside useful tools (perhaps ones that would aid them in the afterlife), along with flowers and jewelry. In modern times, many burial rituals are very different from this, and even modern traditions all vary. However, they all ultimately achieve the same thing, which is coming to terms with death.
Different traditions in Christianity have different rules for mourning. The tradition of wearing black during mourning dates back to Roman times or earlier. In 1969, the Roman Catholic Church changed the acceptable liturgical colors to be worn for the Mass for the Dead to violet, black or white. The funeral service for Catholics, particularly in Ireland, is called a wake. A wake takes place sometime between the death and the burial, and in general is held at the family's house. Although wakes usually involve a viewing of the body, it is often a celebration of the deceased's life. The word "wake" evolved from the word for "watch" or "guard" and became the term used in "wake for the dead."
Greek Orthodox Christians believe that death is when the soul separates from the body. As soon as someone dies, they begin experiencing partial judgment, which is when they first experience heaven and hell. During this time, the behavior and faith of the deceased are judged. The family holds a funeral service that is an hour or less and is not part of a larger service. Almost every Greek Orthodox funeral involves an open casket that the mourners bow in front of. A religious icon is usually placed on the deceased's body, and the mourners kiss the icon. During the burial there is a short prayer service, which is followed by a memorial service which takes place on the Sunday closest to the fortieth day after the death.
There are many other paths in Christianity as well, and they all have slightly different traditions. Most practicing Christians mourn during a funeral surface in which family and friends say prayers.
In Hinduism, death is not mourned as much since it is not viewed as the end of life. Hindus believe that the soul, or atman, continually cycles through different bodies. So, death is thought of as a change in the journey of your atman, but not an end to life. In Hinduism the mourning period is limited to a 13-day period. It is thought that if someone laments too much, then it will be harmful to the soul of the deceased. Immediately after the person dies an oil lamp is placed near the body. This lamp stays burning for the next three days. The body is cremated one day after death, and must be done between sunset and sunrise. From when the body is cremated to the 13th day, the deceased person's immediate family is considered to be ritually impure. Because of this, they are not allowed to perform religious ceremonies, visit sacred sites, give alms or attend festivities.
Hindu mourning rites can be complex. Aside from mourning, they often bathe twice daily, wear white, and eat only one vegetarian meal each day. When they reach the 13th day of mourning, a shaddra ceremony is performed. This ceremony involves a fire sacrifice, and offerings are given to both the gods and the deceased's ancestors, to ensure a peaceful afterlife. Afterwards, the family washes the family shrine and leaves more offerings for the gods. Once this day ends, the mourning period is completed and everyone must resume his or her ordinary, day-to-day life.
Islam also requires a specific period of mourning. Family and friends of the deceased mourn for three days. However, widows must mourn for exactly four lunar months and 10 days. During the time in which the family mourns, they must avoid wearing decorative jewelry or clothing. Widows follow this same rule for their four-month period, and they are not allowed to remarry or move during that time. When people are mourning, it is acceptable and expected to show your grief by crying. However, wailing, shrieking or tearing at hair and clothes is not permitted.
Buddhists, like Hindus, believe in reincarnation. They believe that someone enters a new incarnation immediately after death, and they are born again nine months later. Buddhist traditions involve a funeral with three components: sharing, conducting yourself well, and meditating. Similar to Christian funerals, the ceremony takes place at a funeral home and includes a eulogy and prayers. Throughout Buddhist countries, the funerals differ slightly, but they usually include an open casket. This is because when someone looks at the body, it serves as a reminder of the impermanence of life.
Jewish funerals are short services that involve intense mourning, rather than being a part of a larger service. The main mourning period, called shiva, occurs in the seven days following the funeral. This is when the family mourns at home and friends stop by to offer condolences. During this time, the family focuses just on mourning, and nothing else. To symbolize this, all of the mirrors in the house are covered up, and the family must sit on small uncomfortable chairs and wear a mangled black ribbon and slippers, and men are not allowed to shave. These practices are all meant to make people concentrate on the deceased, and forget about comfort or appearance. A memorial candle is kept lit in the family's home for the entire shiva period. Every year on the anniversary of the death, which is called the yartzheit, the family lights another memorial candle for 24 hours.
There are other religions that I have not mentioned that have distinct mourning practices as well. Mourning rituals vary even inside the religions mentioned, and many families may have individual traditions. However, there are usually common characteristics to all of these traditions. Ritual foods, clothing and behavioral rules are key parts to mourning in almost every tradition. In many cases the family of the deceased is thought of as ritually impure, and candles are used as a way to commemorate the dead. The funeral is usually a service presided over by a religious leader. However, even if someone mourns in a way that is completely different, it still has the same purpose: to come to terms with death and honor a life.
When she wrote this Elizabeth was 14 years old. She enjoys reading and playing softball and soccer, and is really interested in science, particularly genetics. Her article is reprinted with the permission of KidSpirit Magazine.
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Today, i got back from a Memorial Day cermony out in a cemetary I looked at the graves and all the people there and felt that someday, I'll leave the living and join the dead.
As I am the last of my family here, it made me think about my plans for burial/cremation/whatever.
My spouse chose cremation, my friend who took me to the cermony, plans on burial.
i had to really think on how to answer you because your answer caused me unhappyness. And all I can say is , i am no more conforted by the quote you gave, than you would be if I told you, " you will be reincarnated.'\
I have read all four Gospel btw, and respectfully John isn't high on my list of people .
Mathew says it shorter and better, Luke was a physcian, a profession I respect,
Mark is just fine, John? I'm sorry, he just doesn't 'speak to me' personally.
Your quote brings me no confort. And I want to be judged the MOMENT I die. No waiting, not amonemt longer.
a length of time. So candles are lit and occasionally offerings of food and drink are left out so the soul
can partake of the 'essense' of things. In my spouse's case, a gathering of people who knew her came and shared stories of her. And some were really funny! To me, to light candles and honor the memory of the dead, is what makes us saner, than to just 'forget' them. My opinion at least.
The apostle Paul’s words quoted above indicate that this hope can prove comforting when a loved one dies.
THE Bible holds out a hope for those who have died. The resurrections performed by Jesus, as well as his teachings, point to a time when the dead will be brought back to life. Matthew 22:23-33; Mark 5:35, 36, 41, 42; Luke 7:12-16
It was never God’s purpose for mankind to die. Jehovah’s original purpose, as expressed to Adam and Eve, was for the earth to be transformed into a beautiful paradise filled with a loving, happy family. Death would come only if that first couple chose to disobey Jehovah. (Genesis 1:28; 2:17) Sadly, Adam and Eve did disobey, and because of disobedience, “death spread to all men.” (Romans 5:12; 6:23) Death is thus a cruel enemy that was never meant to be.—1 Corinthians 15:26.
Wait for what?
Probably a foreign concept, after all the TV is full of women who bring 10 15 men to be DNA tested to see who the fathers?
There are many similarities between Buddhism and Hinduism (and such as Jainism) since these traditions have interact and co-exist for many thousand years as in Christianity, Judaism and Islam. To label oneself as a certain religious tradition does not mean one believes in that tradition philosophies or practices them. To practice universal core tenets such as kindness, love, forgiveness, honor, good will and compassion is far far more difficult than to say or pretend as if one has beliefs or pretend to practice. Therefore, beliefs and practices can selectively be defined (or social and cultural trends definitions) under selective conditions in selective circumstances to serve own purposes for good, bad, necessity or lack of consciousness/awareness. In other words, one should not deceive oneself (could also imply deceiving others) or be as best honest and true to oneself. One should not claim the religious name if one has no intention and does not make all out efforts to practices or live the minimum core universal tenets/precepts. It is even worse, if one claims tradition(s) and behaves badly or in contradiction. However, since the best of being species core tenets are universal, one needs not claim religious label(s) to practice or live them. Or in other words, to be humane, good or decent being requires no religious beliefs. However, spiritual experience possibilities could complement, strengthen or sustain one practices or way of noble path or life.
Therefore, it can be said that these tenets and practices are universal since they are beliefs and practices across communities and societies spectrum and evolved throughout the age. Furthermore, they are practices much further back in the evolution of being history far before religions were created/established. It is also worth mentioning that spirituality emancipation and practices was developed and evolved way far before establishment of religion. Spirituality is the source for religion just as science is the source for technology and modern living and practices such as health care, social network technology, space exploration, agriculture, and transportation . Furthermore, since spiritual and science (and technology) both transcend the macro world or unobservable world, their common experience and or empirical data are most appropriate to answer questions such as reincarnation or life after the physical body than religion (unless spiritual are also practice within).
Certain subjects could be reasonably generalized. However, generalizing subject as social, cultural and political complex as religious beliefs and practices are misleading and counter productive. Therefore, one should be mindful and careful. For example, Buddhism and Hinduism have diverse denominations with diverse philosophies, tenets, precepts and practices. Certain, Buddhism and Hinduism denominations, lineages or communities do not believe in reincarnation or believe differently from popular beliefs. Similarly, their beliefs in the after physical life also vary. And also for the majority, even tenets/precepts are similar, only parts/subsets are practiced or used.
This essay was written when you were 14 years old and therefore, your comprehension of religious diversity must be different today even through it was more than the average person or for your age group then. However, this discussion or suggestion is for the general audience or readers and not any individual, groups or communities.
In each of the major religion, there are many denominations. And in each denomination, beliefs vary among people. Furthermore, people call or label themselves as certain traditions can also be due to such as tradition, culture, self-interests, sense of belonging and or perception and not necessary due to beliefs or practices. In addition, beliefs are different from practices. People could believe in certain religious tenets or precepts but do not practice them or with minimum efforts or inconsistently. Of course, there are also people that pretend to believe and also pretend to practice or do not fully comprehend their religion content.
Major world religions have many similar tenets and practices. Even through major religions (and even between denominations) philosophies differ, there are common core tenets and practices such as empathy, loving-kindness, goodwill, altruism, decency, honesty, honor, truthfulness, love and compassion. However, these characters are not only religious tenets or principles, they also apply to different communities such as atheist, agnostic or humanist (these communities are also diverse since societies are evolving from simplicity to complexity just as life).
Our God left that beacon “for life” switch on so that in our weakest state -- that light would be like a compass, a magnetic force, to help us find our Father in Heaven whose waiting to receive us. If there is any plus in getting old and leaving this lost system of things – is knowing for those us that search for truth, happiness, and eternity -- our Father in Heaven is waiting to receive us in his bosom.
God’s Only Begotten Son Jesus has been given the keys to the kingdom! As our Savior, this Jesus, who walked with us mortals – seeing the foolish of our ways, and lost sheep that we are, and loving man -- he is also our Judge! A Merciful God has giving judgment to the most loving and merciful person that ever walked this earth. And paraphrasing Jesus’ words, “you see me – you are witnessing the likeness of the Father! Believer rest easy -- for we are in good hands! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Being all-powerful he could have decided to send Adam and Eve to the naughty corner for a couple of centuries, but OHNO! The only possible punishment is death and suffering for everybody!
The modern equivalent is that you have committed a crime and been sentenced to life imprisonment, but that is not enough for the judge. He rules that all of your children, and children's children for eternity will serve life imprisonment. But if they behave well in prison, he promises to bury them outside the prison walls - as a sign of his mercy!
Man, on the other hand, refused to be dependent on the Source of Life, as if he has a life of his own. What he did is exactly the same as refusing to eat and drink. Yes, the ultimate consequence is death -- no more, no less. The food and the drink, however, are not responsible for his eventual death.
The descendants of man was born by spiritually dead parents, so as if infected through vertical transmission, all of them are spiritually dead, even from the womb.
This pilot program that man asked for has been a ruinous experiment in all fronts; and soon will be a thing of the past...God must be in the equation of life -- for he is the giver of Life! Our Creator will read man’s hearts and will re-establish earth as he originally planned with only righteous, God fearing subjects, under his eternity reign.
God's Earthly Kingdom for man feeds our imaginations and hearts -- and worth hearing! @1st. Corinthians 2:9 reads: “Eye has not seen and ear has not heard, neither have there been conceived in the heart of man the things that God has prepared for those who love him." End of reading. Hallelujah, hallelujah!!
A study in UCLA found that the pain of grief is centered in the typical pain fashion and locale in the brain. This means that they literally recommend pain killers for grief.
Good Grief! Are these people for real? "Your Dad died, take two aspirin and call me in the mourning." How sad and uncommunicative this is on a deeper level.
I'm sure psychiatrists only recommend pain killers to supplement their treatment of the patient and not to replace it? Where did you read that?
Don't expect the pain meds to be an adjunct. Many (especially newer) in the mind game profession do not use any talk therapy apparently. They come fresh out of the chute knowing and being trained that drugs "cure" everything. Despite all the evidence against SSRIs, etc.
Next year, the psychiatric industry is going to have a new manual of illnesses and treatments. Virtually every treatment is drugs in the beta version. They also have some insanity in and of themselves. For example, if you have a difficult relationship with another person, husband, child, fellow worker, or whoever, that RELATIONSHIP will be diseased. Not you. Not the one you are in conflict with. That nebulous mental and intangible relationship. For which (TA-DA!!!) you need drugs.