THE BLOG

The Impossible Balance

11/15/2013 11:06 am ET | Updated Jan 23, 2014

Guest Blog by Melissa Farley

As a mom, entrepreneur, and health and fitness expert, I spend most of my days focused on others.

As a mom, I clean, cook, instruct, plan, organize, and engage.
As an entrepreneur, I communicate, delegate, market, and grow.
As a health and fitness expert, I motivate, teach, inspire, and connect.

Although I love to engage, grow, and connect with those around me, at the end of the day and week for that matter I'm left feeling exhausted and unbalanced. The search for balance is present in us all, whether you are a stay home mom of three, an MBA graduate climbing the corporate ladder, or mompreneur juggling carpool and payroll. As women, mothers, and professionals, we give everybody else our 110% to achieve superwoman status, but the downside is that there is very little left over for ourselves.

One of my favorite researchers and authors, Brene Brown, states in her book Daring Greatly that "I'm like a recovering perfectionist. For me it's one day at a time." I see people struggle with that perception everyday. In order for us to create a work life balance, we need to realize that balance and perfectionism are an illusion. In order to find contentment, we need to let go of these ideals and instead focus on having tiny wins each day.

Through my own struggles, and watching many others in my career and personal life, I have come up with some guidelines to aide my constant battle between the ideal job and the perfect life.

Helpful Tips When Searching for Balance:

1. There is no such thing as balance. In order to "have it all" we need to focus on different aspects in our life at different times. For example, priorities change whether it be education, friends, careers, and/or family, and this shift is the delicate balance of life. While I do believe that we can "have it all", we need to realize that it can't happen all at once, or even all at the same time.

2. Letting go of perfectionism. Our flaws and inadequacies are what makes us human and real. Once you can let go and accept who you are then you can create space for what you need. I know I'm not perfect, and that I can get overwhelmed easily. My solution is to schedule "me time" once a week to reflect, be still, and breathe.

3. Self-Care. I know you will finish your work, do the laundry, write that last email, cook dinner for the kids, walk the dogs, and clean the kitchen-- but what will you do for you? We have to create time for ourselves to exercise, stretch, cook a healthy meal, meet up with friends, laugh, and relax, because in order to take care of others we must take care of ourselves first. At a certain point, you need to focus on your mental and physical health, so that you can find a small balance in your day that brings more joy and gratitude to life!

Melissa Farley is the founder and owner of FITtrition, a mobile personal training and nutrition counseling service. Her extensive experience as a dancer, certified personal trainer, strength and conditioning specialist, and holistic nutrition coach has allowed her to create a unique signature training style called the FIT method. Melissa trained as a private in-home trainer in New York City, in addition to NYSC, WSC, and Balance Gym. Melissa danced with the Joffrey Ballet and has also appeared in various commercials and magazines including Sports Illustrated and GQ. Melissa's mission is to inspire, educate, and build a connection between quality food and a quality life.