Artist Porn: 10 Things That Turn Me On

Writing a weekly column about artists that turn me on omits a gigantic portion of what turns me on as an artist. The truth is that more artists don't turn me on than do-- there are a hundred for every one I feature. But there are certain things, not by fine artists, per se, that really turn me on and I affectionately refer to them as "Artist Porn".

Note, the dictionary definition of porn is: "obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, esp. those having little or no artistic merit." I certainly don't use the word by this definition. One of my friends insisted that I was describing a "guilty pleasure." But, no, that is just not the case. Dark chocolate is a guilty pleasure. Making love before breakfast is a guilty pleasure. Doing it during a conference call, well that's just plain kinky, but I digress. No, this is clearly "artist porn." These are things that light up my brain like a hormone-addled teenager gazing upon some moaning glistening assemblage of limbs. Behold this partial list that I encounter in daily life that visually rock my world:

TV Commercial Porn: Ads by Target
These consistently overshadow every program they appear next to. Eyes turn into roses turn into vacuums turn into ballerina dancers. I never know what's going to happen next and I never tire of watching them.

Couture Porn: "The Tudors"
The first time I laid my eyes on this Showtime series, I was just undone by the beauty on all levels that just spilled out of my monitor onto the reflection of my living room floor. The costumes are insane. The sets--every scene is worthy of a painting-- and did I mention the costumes? The most beautifully embroidered and bejeweled I have ever seen. That the ungodly gorgeousness of the cast (Jonathon Rhys Myers as King Henry VIII, Natalie Dormer as Anne Boleyn, Peter O'Toole in red velvet as the Pope) holds a candle to it as well is just too much. I almost licked the monitor it was so hot. Natalie Dormer, who I had never seen before, has the most incredible face. Natalie, if you ever Google yourself and read this, please let me paint you, I beseech you.

Architecture Porn: 15 Central Park West
I read the Sunday New York Times religiously and often find myself dawdling endlessly on the blueprints of a $Bazillion (and up!) apartments splayed as advertisements in the magazine section. In my minds eye, I walk through every room, the galleries and gaze upon the views of Central Park. This is how I discovered and fell in love with the building and website of 15 Central Park West. This paean to prewar New York architecture includes jaw-dropping views of Central Park, interviews with the cuddly architects and developers who belabored every detail of resuscitating the eminence of the era though a building. In fact, I think I've developed a small crush on architect Robert A.M. Stern. Hint: go to the "Film." One day I plan on posing as a house attendant or valet to get a glimpse in real life. Check out the website and blueprints here: www.15cpw.com

Set Design/Opening Credits Porn: "Mad Men"
What a spectacular show. It is not only fantastically written , but the sets and the details of capturing the Madison Avenue in New York in the 60s are riveting. Nailing England hundreds of years ago, as in the Tudors, seems like a cake walk compared to what they accomplished here. All you'd need is some horses, castles and killer threads. But this is absolutely a not to be missed show for the visuals alone. The opening credits ranks up there with the credits of Six Feet Under, which is sadly off the air. And all on AMC, who knew?

Product Design Porn: Voss
So sleek, no frills, feel like I got thirsty on the set of "Logen's Run." Many products designed by Michael Graves for Target fall under the same category.

Fashion Porn: "The Devil Wears Prada"/"Sex And The City"
Of course the original fashion porn extravaganza was the HBO's "Sex And The City." "The Devil Wears Prada" is no different. Fashion is undeniably a huge inspiration for artists. Matisse, for example, was heavily inspired by the works of Elsa Schiaparelli and Coco Chanel. Every outfit is a living changing work of art and I am as or more enthralled to see what colors/textiles/fabrics they'll be sporting next as I am in the plotline. Regarding the new 'STC' movie, if you're reading this on Saturday, I'll allegedly be surrounded by women eating popcorn and watching it tonight.

Auto Porn: Jaguar XKE
There are great newer cars to be sure, but there's nothing like a XKE Jaguar 12 cylinder in British Racing Green. My dad had one growing up and it almost never worked but, who cared? Sliding into it and taking it for a spin with the top down when I turned 16 (shhhhhh, don't tell him) felt like wearing God's velvet pants.

Animation Porn: Prada's Trembled Blossoms Video
In yet another example where art and fashion merge, this collaboration with artist James Jean is delightfully strange and an absolute must-see.

Technology Porn: The iPhone
Too much and not enough has been said of how seductive this gadget is for artists. Enough Said.

Tom Ford Perfume Ads
These shocking ads practically are porn and cause double takes in the magazines they appear in. I stumbled upon them flipping through Art Forum and I think this, along with some amazing German painter, is all I remember. But Tom Ford has always been a master Artist Pornographer.

This list is partial and I'm always adding to it. Please show me yours in the comments section.

--
First Person Artist is a weekly column by artist Kimberly Brooks in which she provides commentary on the creative process and showcases artists' work from around the world. Come back every Saturday for more Kimberly Brooks. You can view more interviews and essays at www.firstpersonartist.com. Her current solo exhibition "Technicolor Summer" runs through June 14th at the Taylor De Cordoba Gallery in Los Angeles.

Comments

[ProFromOre]

Re-issue the XKE as an all electric, just as long as the 'Prince of Darkness', Lucas (Auto Electric) Industries. Many years ago and far, far away, I spent an off-season working as an auto mechanic at a sports car shop with 50-60% of it's repair business in English sports cars.

One day, a beautiful XKE rolled in sounding unlike any straight 6 or V-12 I'd ever heard. Turned out it had a trans-planted Corvette V-8 & transmission. i luckily got to work on it as I had the most experience with hi-performance Chevy engines. It was the most fun of any Jag or Lotus I ever got to abuse, er, test-drive. LOL

[Dumbo]

Best musical instrument porn. (For design and appearance, not for sound):

The soprano saxophone. It's stunning. If I ever build myself an interstellar spaceship, I want it to look exactly like a soprano saxophone. Pure porn.

Google for images of the soprano sax. Or try this pic I found.

http://www.blackkey.cn/syssite/home/shop/1/pictures/productsimg/small/156.gif

It's fun to play, too.

[McLaren]

Porn is generally thought of as something for solely prurient interest. And without further ado....

Music: "Something Beautiful" live, by Clem Snide and the 2nd movement of Grieg's 3rd piano concerto

Auto: Most designs from Pininfarina, and the Talbot Lago.

Product: Most Braun items.

IT: Google Earth

Firearm: British Enfield .303

National Flag: Isle of Man

Dog: Border Collie

Food: Butter Pecan Ice Cream

Cocktail: The margarita from the Treetops Lounge, Siesta Key, Fla.

Aircraft: F4 Phantom

Movie: The Straight Story

more later..........

[OhCaptain]

To go along with the theme, I read this post with a resounding, "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" The things Kimberly describes make me all tingly.

Some of my favorites include those big, shiny coffee table cook books, with all of the gorgeous, glossy pictures, which my sister and I refer to as "food porn."

[DissedBeliever]

RE: the Prada video. The "conceptual artist" James Jean owes his "delightfully strange" look, feel and characters completely to Guillermo Del Toro's PAN'S LABYRINTH. But where that film was a phantasmagorical work of art wherein a young girl loses herself in fantasy in order to escape a brutally violent world, this confection is a piece of commerce that merely illustrates the joys of shopping.

Commerce can never be art because the goal of commerce is to make you buy, not to make you think.

[Bettysdad]

Actually, the V-12 XKE's are the least desirable, the absolute least desirable being the v-12 2+2. The V-12 was developed in an attempt to deal with US emissions regulations but still keep some semblance of power up. If you want the epitome of an XKE get a 1967 Series 1 1/2 . Coupe or convertible is your choice. And British Racing Green is pretty much a cliche by now. Jaguar had some wonderful original colors back then. Check out Faun and Buttercup. BTW - One of the greatest auto writers of all time ( whose name I forget after 45 years) in his first review of the XKE described it as "the world's greatest strumpet catcher.}

[everlasting]

Hmmm, I think the word porn here is just used gratuitously. I don't find cars sexy, but I can see where others do - but, how did we go from sexy to pornographic. Or from sensuous and lush to pornographic. As an artist, I was pretty disappointed that this was presented from some artistic point of view when there is so much else in the world to feature - then again, talking about those things would have taken more work.

[FreedomCorpse]

Art is art, advertising is advertising. When I see the ad writers pervert art for an objective other than art, I tend to run the other way. I find myself in my music room with my fingers dancing on the fingerboard of my guitar, my ears seeking notes and combinations of notes that may capture a feeling, a thought, some emotion that makes life experiences shareable. Ads fail everytime for me.

[everlasting]

I agree, these are advertisements and frankly the 'porn' focus of the article seems like a gimmick. I guess the article is about art imitating life if you live life in front of you television set or looking at advertisements. I can buy that some people think cars or perfume bottles are sexy even, but pornographic? No, the word 'porn' is just gratuitous in this article, easy. Ugh. We're drowing in a world of superficiality to begin with.

[philipwitak]

i understand and appreciate the aesthetic attraction jaguar e-types have always been [i owned a '66 e-type coupe myself for four years] but despite the fact that your father had one of the 12-cylinder variety, you're really missing the boat when you choose one of those over any example of the original, much more perfectly-proportioned, series 1, six-cylinder models which featured clear covered headlights and small elegant tail-lamps and were never adorned with the big, ugly, bumpers and their big, ugly, bumper-guards.

[Bettysdad]

oops, I posted pretty much the same thing before seeing yours.

[falgiano]

i'll have to agree on the iPhone. i love mine like a sibling. and i take it to bed too.

[RRonin]

Let's not forget Food Porn, which you can find on the Food and Fine Living Channels. Yumo!

[6WaysToSunday]

Where can my wife purchase some of that perfume that I can use as a birthday gift?

[mbaty]

Here's to porn for showing us that it's ok to love one another rather than hurt each other. And for the advertisements that play upon our puritan sensibilities, without which we would all be desensitized and jaded and decidedly not moved by such ads.

[amanda85]

"Here's to porn for showing us that it's ok to love one another"

Porn actors love each other? I highly doubt it...
Porn is just another way for greedy, cold-hearted people to profit from the fact that people don't love each other enough, physically and spiritually.

[lolyla]

I'm not one to notice costuming, or even fashion, but I agree with you whole-heartedly about the costume design on The Tudors. Every piece looks hand stitched of the finest materials, each outfit is unique and intricately decorated, and the NEVER wear the same thing twice. It's amazing.

[Counterglow]

A conference call, you say? I am deeply, irredeemably in love. And I will never, ever be bored again during another of those things because of what my imagination will be up to. You have implanted The Meme That Will Not Die.

[McLaren]

Oh yeah, and doing it during a conference call is only kinky......the first time.