I made a great big canvas. For three weeks it sat in the center of the studio like Jack's massive desk in The Shining. No matter how many "painting miles" I've earned, there's really nothing more terrifying. Of course, I have some ideas, a subject, a palette in my mind. Several in fact. But I've encircled it, ignored it, worked on smaller paintings instead. Finally, today, I took six different shades of pink. Some cadmium red light, rose and violet, and I just attacked it. It's okay, I wasn't totally committed because I knew it was just the ground of probably ten layers that will live above it. But it was a start.

Like Kubler-Ross' five stages of death--Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance--I divide the creative process into eight stages. The first two are (1) Vision and (2) Hope. I don't care who you are or what the medium, whether writer, filmmaker, musician, or lithographer or lawyer, or postman, every person goes through these two phases when they get struck by an idea. Vision tends to come in a flash. Then Hope makes the heart swoon and the mind swell around it. Being a great daydreamer helps. Everyone is an artist.
But the difference between artists who create and artists who walk around pregnant with ideas is the third stage which I call (3) Diving In. That's the scary one. That's the one I had to deal with in the studio with the pink paint. My father is a surgeon and I used to watch him operate a lot when I was a kid. I'll never forget that singular moment, in the theatre of the operating room, when he had to press the scalpel into the flesh and make the cut. That's a surgeon's "Diving In". Mine just had less blood.
The next four stages are (4) Excitement (5) Suspicion (6) Clarity and (7) Obsession. Often I bounce between Excitement and Suspicion--suspicion that perhaps my instincts are wrong; that I'm heading in the wrong direction -- (Anxiety! Despair!) Finally I move on to Clarity. Clarity, like Vision, often happens in a moment-- when the sky opens and I can hear the angels sing. Then my favorite part is the tireless consuming fever of Obsession, the life force of every artist. The entire sequence can tend to form an infinite loop. Some artists just barely or never get out of this mobius strip, like the San Francisco Female Painter (whose name I can't remember) who added paint to the same canvas her entire career with a nervous pack of cigarettes until she died. Although Schubert's Unfinished Symphony was supposedly actually finished, James Joyce apparently couldn't help but to add pages every time he edited Ulysess and it almost never made it to the publisher. Then there's the perhaps sixty percent of you, dear readers, who have an unfinished draft of the next Great American Novel rotting in your desk drawer or hard drive.

A year ago, I attended the funeral of the well-known and beloved TV Writer Jerry Belson ("The Dick Van Dyke Show," "The Odd Couple", etc.) whose wife Jo Ann is also an artist. During the eulogy by one of his writer friends, he said that whenever he had massive writer's block he would call Jerry, exasperated. Jerry would say, "Just lay down shit, babe. Just lay down shit." What a liberating mantra! Don't worry if it sucks. Don't worry about ruining it. Just lay it down and get on with it. Making art is risky. Making art takes work. The mortar of all these stages is Discipline and Faith. Then listen, feel and see what's going on. All art works, are living organisms -- if you get out of the way they'll tell you the next move.
The last stage is (8) Resolution. Very elusive. The composer Aaron Copland said he didn't finish compositions so much as abandon them. When it's finally over, it feels like a whole relationship has ended. And then the anticipated rush of doing it all over begins again.

First Person Artist is a weekly column by painter Kimberly Brooks in which she provides commentary on art and process and showcases artists' work from around the world.
Follow Kimberly Brooks on Twitter: www.twitter.com/artistkimberlyb
Does anyone else have special spaces that encourage you to dare to create. T'aint easy.
It's especially valuable for creative persons to realize that feelings of confusion, depression and despair are just a stage along the way and a sign to keep plugging. And "just lay down shit" is an incantation to banish premature judgment, which is the source of most creative blocks.
Nice work.
First, we see the successes of those we admire, and that becomes our benchmark. That's why we pursue our field. To be at that level, and have those rewards for ourselves.
We see this ultimate idea of success, creating landmark, iconic work, being recognized as a master in our field, etc. Which has nothing to do whatsoever with what is right in front of us. You cannot create when your mind is consumed with bogus expectations of the utopian consequences of creating, and an excessive self-consciousness about how huge the gap is between where you're at now and where you believe you should eventually be.
(This is also where stage fright comes from. Anxiety about the audience's future reaction to you, rather than a deep focus on the music you are manifesting at that moment.)
If what I write right now isn't part of a future best-seller that will make me famous and wealthy, why am I bothering? If I'm not as successful as U2, why play?
This mentality pulls you out of the state of centeredness where creativity thrives, and into a state of idea-squelching anxiety.
And that's why this blog entry was useful for me. "Just lay down shit, babe. Just lay down shit." and "... my favorite part is the tireless consuming fever of Obsession, the life force of every artist." are reminders to me that you're only actually creating when you're creating. When you're stressing about outcomes, you are thwarting your abilities.
So the trick becomes being skilled at and habitual about immersing yourself in phase (7) Obsession, and minimizing any of the bs that pulls you forward into the future, and out of the "timeless now", where creation occurs.
Thanks for the post. I'm glad I stumbled over here today.
The joke about the artist who sits on the corner of the bed talking about how beautiful its going to be....
You want to create art? Get as much perspective as possible and then implement your own style. Placing technique into "stages" inhibits the creative process. And cheapens it.
But thinking about the process can wreck the creativity.
Of course, I have some ideas, a subject, a palette in my mind. Several in fact. But I've encircled it, ignored it, worked on smaller paintings instead. Finally, today, I took six different shades of pink. Some cadmium red light, rose and violet, and I just attacked it.
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I've found that setting some boundaries or limits around what you plan to create gives the creative mind something to latch onto, a structure or foundation on which to build.
One interesting area for discussion is how the amount of time you have affects the creative process. For me, if there's enough time, it focuses my attention and provides hope that I can come up with something acceptable. If there's not enough time available, this can either shut down the creative process entirely or you end up producing something that you know isn't going into the portfolio. When there's too much time, for me, this can make me unfocused or susceptible to distraction by other things, kills the creative tension and the project may never get done. Time: a necessary ingredient in the creative process.
- Tom
Jerry would say, "Just lay down shit, babe. Just lay down shit." What a liberating mantra!
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It's a way to get the creative process going as it's next to impossible to be creative when you're frozen. It seems similar to brainstorming, where you just throw ideas out there, carefully keeping criticism away from your thoughts during this important phase.
Another tool I use for inspiration is looking at all kinds of reference imagery to get the creative juices flowing. I consider this a research phase. I can relate to the excitement/depression cycle, where you may question if you even know what the hell you are doing. I suppose all of these phases are necessary and play important roles in the final result.
- Tom