The Last Lecture and Living in Technicolor

Much has been made recently of Randy Pausch's "The Last Lecture". He is a Professor at Carnegie Mellon and six months ago he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given "weeks or months" to live. His moving lecture was video taped as an afterthought and posted on YouTube for the people who couldn't attend. Ten million views, Oprah and Diane Sawyer later, the world now grieves with him.

My family had a similar experience. Last spring, a family member who I am very close to was given "months, not years" to live. During this time, three generations galvanized and committed to take time off and spend time together. Because of this person's compromised immune system air travel wasn't possible so all the trips were by car in California where we live. Our whole family -- grandparents, children and grandchildren, cousins -- took four vacations in three months to Yosemite, Laguna, Malibu and Ojai. We slowed way down. We had a lot tearful moments. We discussed how this person wanted to be remembered, where this person wanted to be buried, all while young grandchildren crawled and ran around us oblivious to what was going on. We all dealt with the prospect of losing someone too soon differently. For me, I felt extreme baritone pain for three weeks. I cried especially when I drove.

Outwardly this person appeared in good health so it all seemed surreal. Then we entered a phase of disbelief and suspended animation. We took long walks. We stopped and smelled all the roses. We did everything as if it were the last time we would do it.

Kimberly Brooks. "Yosemite Walk, I" Detail 24 x 30" Oil on Linen

During this time I was preparing for my next show and this family member started a new treatment which, amazingly, keeps the illness at bay. As fall neared it was as if the summer was all a dream. We still knock on wood. The show I was planning gave way to capturing the essence of the summer. It was the summer that we lived life in high definition, in technicolor. All the colors were so much brighter. It made me want to live every day like last summer.

Kimberly Brooks. "Yosemite Walk, I" 24" x 30" Oil on Linen

First Person Artist is a weekly column by artist Kimberly Brooks in which she provides commentary on the creative process and showcases artists' work from around the world. Her Solo Show "Technicolor Summer" runs May 10 - June 14 at Taylor De Cordoba, Los Angeles.

Comments

[kellygrrrl]

beautiful!

some lessons we all can learn (or re-learn) here.

[artczar]

beautifully written, and painted. :)

[BarbArt]

My 14-year-old son died from leukemia after fighting the disease for 4 1/2 years, relapsing twice. I learned to value the moments, his laughter, his dreams and idiosyncrasies. Danny was 10 when diagnosed and only cried when told he would lose his hair. For several days we referred to "leukemia." One day someone said "cancer" and he looked at me stunned and said, "You mean I have CANCER?" New tears.

Danny was diagnosed in 1997 and finally wrapped chemo and radiation in May of 2001. By then, he was studying Japanese. To everyone"s amazement, his oncologist bought him a ticket to travel to Japan! In the summer of 2001, our family took a 2-week trip there.

We had many of those "Technicolor" moments that summer. Unlike Professor Pausch, we had no specific knowledge of a ticking clock. However, the risk of relapse was ever present. Risk does sweeten the reward, which for us was TIME. I never knew how much we had.

In losing Danny, I lost a part of my future. But I will be forever amazed at the life lessons he gave me in such a short time. He focused on the present and had little use for fear.

I asked Danny how he would communicate with me when he was gone. He said, "I"ll speak to you through your art." What a gift. I"m listening.

You can meet Danny at dannyklancher.com or see my art at BarbaraReid.org

[kellygrrrl]

*hug* to you Barb

[shutterbug80]

i love art through photos - black and white the best.

[Tyrione]

As a mechanical engineer and computer scientist his work will sorely be missed. I would have loved to done some graduate work at CMU under him. Here is to hoping his colleagues publish the rest of his work in progress and we benefit from it all.

[nyboomer]

The old saying was I'll live forever or die trying. I realized 15 years ago that i was neutral on the subject of death. My fears extended to long periods of discomfort bordering on pain. Even that fails to move me any more. I am 57 and may live decades more or die tomorrow. It is an adventure that we alll think we will experience.

Those of you who are immortal out there, I do not envy you one bit.

[shutterbug80]

i don't want to live forever either, boomer. we'll all die of heart disease or cancer if not something else. my wife and i just want to live indpendently for as long as we both can.

[BillCouzens]

This post is moving.. Paintings say it all.

Thank you.

Bill Couzens, Founder Lesscancer.org

[mommadona]

The light.

Capturing the light.

That's the rememberance.

[Clinton]

Terribly sorry for your loss. The paintings are beautiful.

[OttoMann]

What loss? Did you actually read the article?? Besides the gain of perspective, she wrote, "this family member started a new treatment which, miraculously, is working(!).

[Clinton]

Yes. Sorry to offend you.

[Atticus]

Death. The Great Injustice.

[Arithrianos]

Death is not unjust at all, it is the reason life is possible. It is the engine of evolution. It is one of the reasons life is so valuable. What leads you to believe you deserve to live forever? You were given a FREE gift, now you complain it's not enough. How ungrateful.

[Clinton]

Who gave the gift?