Why I'll Keep My Vices, Not My Resolutions

This year for Christmas, Santa gave me five extra pounds and revived my intermittent smoking habit. Normally, attempting to correct these matters would have been par for the course as New Year's and its implicit resolutions arrived so conveniently on the heels of my holiday indiscretions- but this time things are different. For 2009, instead of trying to vanquish my vices in a grandly proactive display of betterment, I've decided to dance with my devils in a fit of social defiance.

As a lifetime subscriber to New Year's resolutions, I am practically giddy with relief to have so recently broken free from industriously trying to improve myself every January 1st- what a rotten time to think big! The coldest, darkest month of the year seems like an odd moment to confront major life changes. In fact, statistics show that 75% of those who make resolutions at New Year's fail on their first attempt to keep them, and is it any wonder? I can barely rouse myself to clean my bathroom much less make an ambitious behavioral U-turn smack dab in the middle of winter.

The ancient Babylonians were much smarter about this yearly change for the better concept. Credited with inventing the New Year's holiday in 4000 BC, they very smartly placed it at the beginning of the first new moon after the Vernal Equinox (the first day of spring). Now this makes sense- spring is a time of hope and rebirth, a season when my summer bikinis loom just around the corner instead of months and months away. Slogging to the gym amidst the budding greenery seems like a profitable thing to do, as the effort vs. reward ratio realizes a much more compact loop instead of dragging on interminably.

Being a generally optimistic, glass-half-full kind of person (but also a realist), I just don't like to set myself up for failure. Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year according to a study done by psychologist Cliff Arnall, falls on January 19th in 2009. Based on the calculations of factors including weather conditions, debt level and time elapsed since the holidays, Dr. Arnall claims that we hit our emotional rock bottom on this date. Although the theory's accuracy has been widely discounted by the academic community, I do see a kernel of truth in it- snow and lack of sunlight leave me preferring hibernation to hyper-inflated motivation. The guilt I have incurred from my previously unsustainable roller coaster resolutions is blissfully absent this year as I nod and smile while listening to other peoples' militant checklists.

Don't misunderstand me, it's not that I am planning a year of steeping in self-indulgence, I've just simply decided that being okay with where I'm at is a calmer approach to eventually arriving at where I want to go. Who needs the arbitrary date of January 1st as pressure to aim for perfection? And who really likes perfection anyway? As Abraham Lincoln said, "It has been my experience that folks with no vices have very few virtues." So I think I will stay interesting and complex as I dawdle in my vices for a few more months, at least.

Comments

[feyangel]

I kinda agree with this commentary. In 2008 I found myself feeling frustrated cos after 30+ years of "self-improvement," I still felt, and saw myself as, inherently "imperfect"-- at least in my more human aspects. (I firmly believe that "in Essence" we are all just "perfect" exactly as we stand- but sometimes for me personally MY human" flaws" seem self-defeating and hard to live with.) Anyway-- I decided that this year, in 2009, I would "work on" or play with-- loving and accepting myself even more just as I am-- and enjoy myself, at least as much as other people seem to. I find it fairly easy most of the time to unconditionally love other people FOR, not in spite of their quirks and "flaws"-- why not apply that to my relationship with myself. I might have more fun Being ME, and being on the Planet Earth that way!

So a bit more food, wine and dancing-- and much less worrying and work!

[SharonWantsToTalk]

Yes, the calmer approach is better. I had 4 days off after the new year and spent 3 of them comfortably relaxed on my new couch watching movies. I kept thinking how bad a start this was to the new year. I should be up and using this time to finish all those undone projects. But it just felt so right, sitting there with a cast of viewers coming in and out of the theater of my living room, joining me in my movie fest. I went back to work this morning feeling better and more relaxed than I have since I can remember. Forget the guilt of a new beginning Jan 1st. Its a farce. Follow your internal clock and start new beginnings as the season dictates. The one thing I can say for the winter hibernation period is that it is a great time to reflect on where you are and where you want to go next season. So hunker down, relax and think about your life and where you want to take it next spring. BTW, the one day I wasn't on the couch, I was cleaning.

[ObjectiveRealist]

Good point. I suggest an easy resolution. If you ever write about gaining illegal, inappropriate or unauthorized access to a computer, the term is "cracking" not "hacking." It's not difficult, and you can be the first/only published author to get it right!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/05/twitters-hacked-bill-orei_n_155302.html?show_comment_id=19406133#comment_19406133

[113]

What a great quote from Lincoln, i haven't heard that one before...facebook quote time!

[janinei]

LOVE the Lincoln quote!

[NoPCZone]

Light up a cigarette in public and blow it in Mayor Bloomberg's face. It will make both of us feel better.

[OhioVoterAlso]

Starting a new resolution at the spring equinox is a marvelous idea! Many people get gym memberships beginning January 1 -- with winter weather in much of the country, who can blame them for quitting so soon when it's a battle just getting out of the driveway? And you can always say "my resolution this year is moderation in all things."

[curiousasheck]

Make a resolution to stay away from the "alphabet soup" of fraudulent securities and recondite derivatives.

Thall Shalt Avoid Temptation

[kstuff]

Thank goodness Inaugural Tuesday follows Blue Monday, or we'd really be in trouble!