Dear California Assembly,
I understand that next week you are planning to vote on a resolution that would make the first week in March a "cuss free week" in California. Assemblyman Anthony Portantino (D-La Canada Flintridge) introduced the measure after being inspired by a probably unpopular Pasadena teenager who started a "No Cussing Club" at his high school. The measure is expected to get strong bipartisan support in both houses of the Legislature.
Well, let me be the first to say to everyone in both houses of the California Legislature, "Fuck you."
This year, California has a predicted budget deficit of more than $20 billion dollars. Our unemployment rate is just over 12%, more than two points higher than the national average. Public schools have been forced to cut staff, teachers and services with inevitably more cuts to come. Low income families have seen their insurance benefits (as well as other safety nets) slashed. State college tuition will rise 32% this year alone! California's credit rating is in the toilet while our sales tax is the highest in the nation at 8.25% (9.75% in Los Angeles and even higher in some other cities). Our streets are crumbling, businesses are leaving, and you want to take away our right to swear? What the fuck is wrong with you? You fatuous, lazy, pandering assholes!
This is exactly the time when Californians need swearing the most. Everyone in the state should be screaming swear words at the top of their lungs -- at you! Yes, I know, this is just a fun, harmless little measure that shows your constituents how much you care about "the children;" but you know how else you can show them you care about children? Create some jobs. Update our infrastructure. Stop gutting our schools. Balance our budget. Stop treating our futures like some kind of fucking social experiment. Accomplishing something, anything!
But good gosh by golly, I guess that stuff is too hard.
So, while you sit up there in Sacramento having a good chuckle with your swear jars and patting yourselves on the back for getting on television, just remember that the people who voted you into office are really fucking pissed off at the shitty way you're running our state.
An Angry Fucking Californian
P.S. Hey, Arnold. Fuck you, too.