As if drug and alcohol addictions weren't enough we now have boyfriend-aholics! The definition of a woman or girl who is a boyfriend-aholic is as follows:
Someone who is addicted to being coupled up, finding a new guy for a new relationships as soon as her old one (relationship) ends.
These are women who simply cannot or will not live without a man in their lives. Some females seem to feel incomplete without being part of a couple and they collect men the way a child might collect teddy bears. And it doesn't seem to matter if the relationship is good or bad -- it is the "collection" that is important. Each guy is a mythical notch on their belt so to speak, a prize toy.
Or drug.
Like any drug addict or alcoholic these women are after the "high" they get from beginning a new relationship. And of course like any new drug or alcoholic binge, the buzz soon wears off and you need a new fix. So the woman must leave one relationship that has become, in her mind, static and move on to a new one which will give her a renewed zip.
No relationship is allowed to become comfortably secure. As soon as any type of stability settles in, it is no longer exciting. What most of these boyfriend-aholics fail to realize is what alcoholics and addicts have known for some time -- nothing equals the first time in buzz-thrill. You will never reach that level of high you first experienced. No matter how many times you switch partners, you are not going to have the same rush.
To be sure there are men who collect women in a lifestyle similar to a boyfriend-aholic, but the majority of people who fall into this addiction category are women.
At its core any addiction usually is a way to escape from reality. Drugs do it, alcohol does it, and going from man to man also allows you to escape from real-time. Boyfriend-aholics are similar to commitment-phobes. It is an ironic twist that, while lasting relationships scare the hell out of them, when the boyfriend-aholics are not in a relationship they feel sad and lack self-confidence!
Just the same as any other addicted person, there comes a time when a boyfriend-aholic will take just about any "drug" available, meaning that they will go with any guy, any one, good for them or horribly bad, just to be with someone. And that spells danger as in STDs, HIV, and physical abuse. No thrill is worth it.
Being part of a couple is a great part of life, I agree. What a boyfriend-aholic doesn't get is that the whole idea behind finding someone is to become comfortable with them. It doesn't have to get boring. You need to figure out exactly why you need this "thrill" of collecting. What is missing in your life? Find out and make some changes.
Is there hope for a boyfriend-aholic? Sure; the same hope there is for all addicts. The proviso for any addiction has always been that you can be "cured" but only if you want to be.
***
© 2014 Copyright Kristen Houghton
Books by Kristen Houghton
You may email her at kch@kristenhoughton.com