Just decorating your home to meet the latest trends is no longer enough to show your complete and utter devotion to having a Pinterest-worthy house. Everybody and their chevron-loving step-brother is doing that. You've gotta differentiate yourself as a Real Proud Home Person.
"And just how do I do that?" you're naively asking as I hold back an eye roll so hard I get a migraine. It's easy, dummy: get a tattoo of your house. Let's take a look at some examples.
Image / Tattoosday
This simple tattoo of a Vancouver house was likely completed in minutes, but it'll forever cement this man's status as someone who just isn't fucking around when it comes to his home.
This poor homeowner endured some seriously bad times, and then some good times, and then they got a tattoo to remember it and it looks awesome.
Image / 1337 Tattoos
It absolutely doesn't matter that this person lives in a tent. The fact that they got a tattoo of it means it's automatically infinitely better than your Aspen summer home.
This homeowner decided to include a warning message to her ink-less neighbors.
Image / Inkah
This sure is the Addams Family house.
The fact that I failed 4th grade geography means I'm unable to determine which famous mountain that is in the background, but I do know this tattoo belongs to one seriously superior resident of a one-window house.
A gorgeous winter scene with lavender and rosemary. Chilling to think that you had previously assumed your carefully curated bookshelves were enough.
Image / Fat Baby Dave
Another simple house tattoo to remind you of your inadequacies.
This homeowner took time out of her busy tornado-dodging schedule to get a tattoo of her adorable home. What's your excuse?
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