We live in a fast-paced world with family, work, and social commitments. We all get super busy. I get it.
As a result, your language and vocabulary can be automated. You use phrases you've have always used, but as you develop yourself, there are some phrases and terms that you may use which no longer serve your highest purpose or what you want to accomplish in your life.
However, success-minded individuals are always looking to get things done and naturally tend to overcome problems by finding and creating solutions.
Are you solution focused or problem focused?
When being solution focused, there are phrases that you would need to replace because they set you up for more problems, and do not help you access solutions. They are excuse driven phrases and keep you locked in problem mode, not solution mode.
Then when you begin think about what you can do differently, these phrases will be removed from your vocabulary as you will already be in a solution-focused mindset.
1. "I don't have time"
The truth is we all live in the same crazy busy world. You know the drill. With kids and families, and work/careers/job, laundry and cooking, reading at bedtime, bath time, personal development time, exercise, etc. etc. - no one really has any "extra" time, unless they make time.
Yes, I said it. Make time.
We all have the ability to create our reality and to carve out time in our day. Maybe this means you manage your time better. Maybe this means you get up two hours earlier to get the most important things done. Maybe this means that you use your lunch hour to go for a walk. Maybe this means you prioritize your schedule more efficiently.
Whatever your situation, you have the choice to make time for what is important to you.
What to do or say instead: Reprioritize what is important. This will help you find the time or make the time to get the important things done. Or, say "no" if it is a commitment to someone or something that you do not want to commit to. Otherwise, say "I'll make the time." and then do that. Follow through is critical.
2. "I'll do it when..."
"When", similar to the phrase "someday" doesn't actually appear on the calendar. Grammatically, the word 'when' is typically used to determine a specific period in time, but in this phrase, it's not specific. Unless you have something to do first that precedes the phrase "when" and you've given yourself a deadline to complete that first item, this phrase should be removed from your vocabulary. Just remember that the time determined as "when" and its friend "someday" will likely never come unless you've specified an end point. Set boundaries, set time-lines, set deadlines, set your priorities and get things done. Just do it. If something is stopping your or blocking you
What to do or say instead: Create a deadline, put it on your calendar or on your daily to do list to ensure it gets done. If it is not a priority, then say "no". You always have a choice.
3. "I'll feel ..... when"
This is another goody. I'll feel "ready" when...(fill in the blank). I'll feel "good" when... (fill in the blank).
I'll feel "abundant" when I have won the lottery, or have a million dollars in the bank. Sound familiar?
Turn your hope into feeling that way now. Whatever you want to be, feel that way now. Feel abundant now. Feel happy now. Feel however you want to feel now, not conditionally. This starts with gratitude and counting your blessings. What do you have to be grateful in your life right now which makes you feel how you want to feel? Celebrate it. Embrace it.
When you use this phrase you set the condition that something else needs to happen before you are allowed to feel a certain way. When you set up certain restrictions, you become restricted and then realize you can't feel good until xyz happens. Just feel how you want to feel now. Find ways to feel that way now, and stop waiting for when, because as noted in #2, when like someday is likely not to happen without a firm deadline. Just feel how you want to feel now.
Want to feel happy?
What will make you feel happy now?
Sometimes it is the simple things, so go back to basics and revisit what types of feelings you'll like to feel now way before "when xyz" is completed. You may also note that feeling good now will help you complete your xyz goal much quicker because you've already infused yourself with positive feelings.
What to do or say instead: Do something that makes you happy now. Grab a latte. Call a friend. Look for the joy in the little things. Go for a run, or to the gym. The endorphins help raise your mood. Use visualizations to put you in the place you want to be. This can help set your sights back on your goals. Feel this way now.
Practice gratitude and list the things you are grateful for and feel these feelings.
4. "I can't"
Can't is a strong word because it gives the impression you have given up.
Are you even going to try? This is a phrase that just blocks you from doing anything and everything because it stems from a lack of belief. This phrase can put you in a disempowered mood because it keeps you stuck without any opportunity for moving forward. The phrase "I can't" is definite. It's conclusive. So, unless you have completely decided that this is your end point for whatever you are trying to accomplish in life, get rid of it because it's not working for you.
Also, if it is just not a priority, maybe you need to be doing something else.
What to do or say instead: "I can and I will". This is more empowering. Then take the steps to learn how to do whatever it is that you want to do or achieve. Where there is a will, there is a way. "What steps can I take right now to get to where I want to be?"
5. "I don't know how" or "I'm not sure how to..."
I think we've all experienced times in life when we just "didn't know" how to do something. But anything can be figured out. If you want it bad enough, you'll find a way to make it happen. You'll find a way to learn what you need to in order to implement or take action. So what's holding you back? If you get stuck, go back and reread #1, #2 and #3. There is always a way. Using the words of Marie Forleo, "Everything is figuroutable". Yes, she invented that word, and its super cool. So, take your power back and start doing what you need to do and get it done.
There are no excuses, just ways to take action and make things happen.
What to do or say instead: "I'll figure it out." Then figure out how to do it. Sign up for a class or a course, or look it up on YouTube or find a teacher/mentor.
So take some time and reflect on these phrases. For success minded individuals, these phrases are not necessary because successful people are always looking for solutions and ways to overcome obstacles.
Now that these phrases have been removed from your vocabulary or replaced, what will you conquer today?