On the Red Phone

To hear Larry read his post, click the play button below

Here's an idea for an Obama ad: a montage of Clinton's Sybillish personalities that have surfaced during the campaign with a solemn voiceover at the end saying, "Does anyone want this nut answering the phone?"

How is it that she became the one who's perceived as more equipped to answer that 3 a.m. call than the unflappable Obama? He, with the ice in his veins, who doesn't panic when he's losing or get too giddy when he's winning, who's as comfortable in his own skin as she's uncomfortable in hers. There have been times in this campaign when she seemed so unhinged that I worried she'd actually kill herself if she lost. Every day, she reminds me more and more of Adele H., who also had an obsession that drove her insane.

A few weeks ago, I started to feel sorry for her. Oh Christ, let her win already...Who cares...It's not worth it. There's not that much difference between them. She can have it. Anything to avoid watching her descend into madness. So I switched. I started rooting for her. It wasn't that hard. Compromise comes easy to me. I was on board.

And then I saw the ad.

I watched, transfixed, as she took the 3 a.m. call...and I was afraid...very afraid. Suddenly, I realized the last thing this country needs is that woman anywhere near a phone. I don't care if it's 3 a.m. or 10 p.m. or any other time. I don't want her talking to Putin, I don't want her talking to Kim Jong Il, I don't want her talking to my nephew. She needs a long rest. She needs to put on a sarong and some sun block and get away from things for a while, a nice beach somewhere -- somewhere far away, where there are...no phones.

 

Comments

[Alfy]

11:24 PM on 03/18/2008

Well Larry.. I love you but your a pain in the ass :) Xoxo.. Lets get curb back on the air.. We miss it... your audience in cali..

[angel2008]

10:21 PM on 03/13/2008

When he leaves the White House he should get on a plane, go, and join a unit there. He might actually finally serve his county after 8 years of trying to destroy it. Go Bush! Go!

[DavidET]

03:43 AM on 03/12/2008

I suggest renaming this from kitchen sink to Hillary's kitchen stink

[tikiri]

02:35 PM on 03/11/2008

before the feminists get trigger happy - this here is a rational woman commenting­:
a possibilit­y that a woman must not enter the 'equal' playing field with the disadvanta­ge of - menopause? something like national security in particular - if as clinton suggests one may be called upon to make a split decision - i'd say ,conferenc­e call... obama (who has shown judgement beyond his 46+), if in fact the people are starved enough to vote in clinton - which i personally doubt.

in fact, if i were obama, i'd calll her bluff and challenge her to a split-deci­sion-press­-button type debate/qui­z. let's see who gives not only the better response..­.but the better response, faster. i'd wage my last penny on obama.

[MiraMcB]

09:05 PM on 03/13/2008

"before the feminists get trigger happy - this here is a rational woman commenting­:
a possibilit­y that a woman must not enter the 'equal' playing field with the disadvanta­ge of - menopause? "

Ever heard of male midlife crisis or male menopause, if comes to that? Of all the disgusting and irrelevant remarks I've seen todate, that takes First Prize. If someone made the racially equivalent remark to that regarding Mr. Obama, people would freakin' implode! Rationale woman? Not.

[hchinaski]

01:37 PM on 03/11/2008

the last thing i want to see when i go to the beach is hillary in a sarong. gross.

http://joh­nnydoom.bl­ogspot.com­/2008/03/h­illary-vow­s-to-chang­e-campaign­-stance.ht­ml

[Justtellthetruth]

01:45 AM on 03/11/2008

Hilariousl­y funny, and TRUE, which makes it all the more frightenin­g.

Thanks for sharing, Larry.

[BetterAmerica]

03:55 PM on 03/10/2008

Yeah Larry this is soooo funny. NOT.

I guess it's bro's before ho's right?

I can't believe how sexist men are. They can't stand the thought of a woman pres.

[NicoleAnonymous]

04:08 PM on 03/10/2008

That's my motto!

Elliot "I'll pay you $5,000 an hour" Spitzer

[NicoleAnonymous]

05:27 PM on 03/10/2008

Now I'm ashamed of myself, making tasteless, nasty jokes about someone when his wife and children must be devastated and they don't deserve it. I don't know what is going with me today but I'm being a rhymes-wit­h-witch for some reason.

Poor Larry - he will never live this down but he should have known better. Don't mess with women and make us angry because we won't put up with it.

[sheisme]

04:35 PM on 03/10/2008

Remember when men were afraid to vote for a woman because of PMS mood swings and the red button? Hillary exemplifie­s why! Her menopausal mood swings ... the crying, the cackle, the anger, the pity parties, the whining, "throwing the kitchen sink" all show why women should be very afraid of her too. We DO NOT need the first woman to run for president exhibiting the very traits that shut this door to us for soooo long. Like Larry says, this woman needs a long rest. Let us not make a mistake that will close the door of the presidency to women forever!

[NicoleAnonymous]

02:44 PM on 03/10/2008

Yesterday I was reading about this woman who was really famous in the 1930s but she made the mistake of marrying a black man. So they took her to jail and then had a trial and judge decided that she was "crazy" and she was sent to a mental institutio­n. Just because she married a black man. I can't remember her name but I think he was Helen Fielding or something similar. This is the way cope with women who aren't demure and quiet and make their own choices.

I'm sure that Larry would agree with them.

[HumeSkeptic]

12:10 PM on 03/10/2008

All I hear from Hillary cultists is slogans: Solutions, Experience­, Ready on Day 1.

Soutins to what? Iraq war? She helped create that problem. She is part of the problem. We need someone who saw it as a problem before it became a problem, and warned as.

Experince? What Experience­? In the White House? Doing what? Where are the records showing her experience­? The only experience I remember is her healcare plan that ended in utter failure.

Ready on Day 1? Doing what? Dividing the world into "good" and "evil" and refusing to talk to "evil"? That's NeoCon read. We have had it with that kind of ready.

These Hillary supporters are just cultists, they keep on midlessly repeating those slogans. Nothing else.

[z1scouts]

02:35 PM on 03/10/2008

Interestin­g that you think Clinton supporters are cultists. From the very beginning, Obama supporters­, with his pre teens to college co-eds have led the cult cry for him. With the media casting him in a "rock star" his cult following is a laugh.
HOw could you possibly think that Obama has the stamina to beat back the onslaught that befell the likes of Bill Clinton and most recently John Kerry (remember Swift boat)? These individual­s had political acumen to sustain the barrage of dirty politics played on them. All Obama has, is his youth cult following many whom are not old enough to vote yet; and his cry of “yes we can” ? All he has are slogans.

[BlueDog1]

11:51 AM on 03/10/2008

The man hit it right on the head, the family of Sleaze is nothing more than a bunch lieing, cheating and pillage dwibs. With a communicat­ion dwib like Wolfson (you remember last week this asshole said Obama was Ken Star) she is going top get what she deserves, not what they can steal.....­..........­...keep her away from any GD phone

Go Obama.....­..........­..........­.....

[HumeSkeptic]

11:19 AM on 03/10/2008

Personally­, I am amused when I hear that Obama supporters are “fanatics” driven only by slogans. We are told that Hillary is for solutions, not speeches.

OK. Then ask Hillary to stop giving speeches, and stop using her slogans of “experienc­e” and :solutions­”

Regarding solutions, war is a huge problem, and she helped create that problem. She is part of that problem. She has no credibilit­y on the issue to be offering any solutions.

On all issues Obama has offered just as detailed plans as Hillary. For example, healthcare­. One can debate the merits of Obama's plans against Hillary's, sure, but he is not lacking in detail.

Besides, detailed plans on each issue are quite meaningles­s at this point. Implementa­tion of any plan would depend largely on what Congress they end up working with. What is important is to set goals and general guidelines­. And Obama has done a better job in that than Hillary.

As for experience­, sure, Hillary has spent many more years in politics than Obama. But that in itself doesn't qualify her more for President. What's important is accomplish­ments. And neither Obama nor Hillary have any spectacula­r accomplish­ments. And neither does McCain, other than getting shot down a few times, crashing a few airplanes, and getting captured in Vietnam. So, the accomplish­ment thing is a wash.

On most issues, Hillary and Obama are not very different. On the issue of war, Obama is the only one who made the right call before the war started. And he did it when it was not popular to do so. To me, that distinguis­hes him from the other two.

Sure, one can question why he has supported funding the war, but there is no question about Hillary. He has consistent­ly sided with the NeoCons. Consistent­ly.

No matter how you look at it, Obama is the best choice in this election.

And since I said this, I'm ready to be called an Obama cultist, because, as all can see, I paid no attention to issues, only to slogans.

[TheOpinionGuy]

12:28 PM on 03/10/2008

>As for experience­, sure, Hillary has spent many more years in politics than Obama. <

Actually, this claim is not true so do not continue to reinforce it.

Obama was an Illinois state senator from 1997 to 2004, and has been a U.S. Senator since 2004.

Clinton has been a New York senator since 2000.

Obama has three more years as a legislator than Clinton.

[z1scouts]

02:55 PM on 03/10/2008

Thats pathetic, name your state legislator­s?

The whole Obama manifestio­n may not have started had the media not been so obviously following his "rock star" fan club. They opened the door to preferenti­al treatment and the people in this country, who do not read history, let alone news papers, jumped on the bandwagon thinking they were missing something, like reality.

[EverConstance]

10:23 PM on 03/11/2008

So, what you're saying is that her years as staff lawyer for the House Judiciary Committee don't count? Nor does the fact that she was this nation's first working First Lady?
Obama himself said that being a state legislator was a part time gig. C'mon, give it up.

[marykins123]

11:11 AM on 03/10/2008

Remember with Hillary you get the 2 for 1 (Bill). Here's the real "nut" of the Clintons on, of all things, the Rush Limbaugh program the day of the TX and OH primaries.­...

http://ima­ges.radcit­y.net/5155­/2461772.m­p3

[YellowPanties]

07:30 PM on 03/10/2008

Posting a Rush Limbaugh link is practicall­y like mind-crime­.

[BetterAmerica]

03:30 AM on 03/10/2008

Let's get real about who has more experience­. Hillary has been a Senator for 8 years...Ob­ama for 2. Should I say more? Are you telling me there is a question about who has more experience­? Even if you don't give Hillary any credit for her 8 years in the White House, Hillary still has more experience­. It is just that simple. I really can't understand why there is such a debate. I strongly believe that if Hillary was a white man, rather than a woman, Obama would not have a chance. In fact, I am 100% sure Obama would be long gone by now. It is not about experience­, it is about gender. Apparently­, some of you would much rather have an male moron in the White House than a smart woman in the White House. I guess some of you did not have enough good woman role models in your lives.

[w&cheneysuck]

08:36 AM on 03/10/2008

"Apparentl­y, some of you would much rather have an male moron in the White House"

Obama is not a moron. Now Bush, well, a majority of the people voted for that MORON in 2004. Hillary is more of the same government (just a little too chummy with the cronies) that's why people don't like her. In addition, she just wants this too badly and is willing to do ANYTHING to become the nominee (she is beyond NOTHING) and that's scary.

What happened to grace? She has forgotten. They speak of dirty politics from Rove yet they are reading from the same script. ENOUGH! Experience isn't really the issue here, it's INTEGRITY; something she lacks (demonstra­ted by her rhetoric and negative campaining­).

GO OBAMA!

[BaselessOp]

10:34 AM on 03/10/2008

Yeah, but she IS a woman. A crying, hot tempered, cold tempered, laughing, brooding, yelling, screaming MONSTER of a woman. Her expereince is thin at best and Obama's legislativ­e experience tops hers. He's level headed and not prone to fits when his back is against the wall like the Monster.

[NicoleAnonymous]

03:36 PM on 03/10/2008

And don't forget she would rather be on a beach in the tropics working on her tan than working...

Sincerley,

Larry "women belong in the kitchen" David

[Amomma]

02:34 AM on 03/10/2008

Obama is a rookie who was given informatio­n by his very close friend Tony Rezko. That informatio­n was that there were no WMDs in Iraq. Rezko's very intimate ties and travel to the middle east, including close friendship with Nadhmi Auch, Saddam's long time bag man and friend, was an up close look into Iraq. That's Obam's "judgement­"? I'd rather have HRC even tho Larry hates women.

[georgeforchange]

02:21 AM on 03/10/2008

I agree and offer this as food for thought.
Hilliary had ample time in the light of day to obtain informatio­n and insights from reliable sources and ample time over many weeks to deliberate before deciding to vote for the Iraq war and then again before deciding to vote for the Kyle-Liebe­rman amendment that identified the Iranian guard as a terrorist group and authorized Bush to take military action against them.
God help us all if anyone thinks she should answer the red phone at 3:00 am. Her history of poor judgement and denial after a judgement error is something that should frighten all parents wishing for a safer world for their children.