A Grimmer Primer

A is for Abu-Graib. Admission accomplished. Happily, all of the women responsible for perpetrating the torture, degradation and unspeakable humiliation have been named and/or punished.

B is for Bolton, hard-driving, hard-headed, abusive, butt-kicking diplomat.

C is for Congress. A debatable society - formerly a separate branch of the US government.

D stands for the Reverend Dobson, Man of God, who acts with the certainty that the term is meant to be read the other way around.

E is for Enron, a firm which could publish a cooking-the-books cookbook, whose executives will answer for their crimes just as soon as the office cleaning women all fess up.

F is for Senator Frist, who would obviously rather be righteous than president.

G stands for Guantanamo Bay. And for gulag. And for Goebbels. And, sadly, for GWB.

H is for Huffington, whose space has launched a thousand quips; whose post at times resembles a rich kids' high school newspaper.

I is for Iraqmire - a situation created when you bring the Wild West into the Middle East.

J stands for Jeb, a member of the dynasty that has caused all too many others to do just that.

K is our man in Afghanistan, Karzai - as played by another K: Ben Kingsley.

L is for Lynne Cheney, logical enough for the L word.

M is for the Media, the means by which a handful of enlightened men make billions by keeping billions in the dark.

N stands for Nixon, patron saint of the gates: first, Watergate, next Iran-Contragate, and hopefully the inevitable accounting by the present administration: Abrogate.

O is for O'Reilly, fair and balanced moralist/phone sex enthusiast.

P brings us to Richard Perle - smooth as silk, and the worms that make it.

Q is for the Queer Guy who seems forever stuck in the straight eye.

R stands for Mr. Rove, the hand inside our bully puppet.

S is for Arlen Spector, whose words from the heart go unheard by those in the White House who have none.

T is for Trent Lott. And whoever thought we'd ever miss him?

U is for the United Nations - still the best hope to protect civilization from itself.

V stands for Vladimir Putin, or "Vlady," as he is called by the same man who dubbed the above Mr. Rove "Turd Blossom."

W Who else but Wolfowitz to lead the World Bank? Who else but a man who has trouble adding up body bags?

X is for Tom DeLay, the ex-exterminator. (A bit of a cheat but, then, sweets for the sweet.)

Y Young Man's Christian Association = Ralph Reed and Gary Bauer.

Z is for Zell - loud, living proof that there is no fury like a Democrat scorned.